I’m working in a large private nursery during this AMA

[notamumyet2010]

As the title says....I work in a Manager role in a large, busy, over subscribed private nursery that have remained open during all of this.....AMA.....promise il be honest!

Hi OP, do you enjoy the job? What's the hardest part?

@Whichname98 I do indeed enjoy it, but I guess like most jobs there are hard days as well.
Th hardest part-in normal times it’s probably saying no to parents who want their children to come. I’ve had many parents cry down the phone to me, beg and offer me bribes. The fact that they put in an application makes them think they then have a space. The truth is we say no to far more than we say yes to. And that’s all down to numbers. We can only have so many of each age group and the whole time I’ve been there (over 10 years) each age is always at full capacity.
During Covid-it’s been very hard keeping the staffs well being at a good level. They are knackered tbh and so scared of getting unwell and making someone in their family unwell as well. It has also been difficult to ensure all parents are following our policies. Even tho they have signed new Covid policies, the number of times I’ve had the response “Well I’m sure it’s just a cold so I won’t test them”. The truth is they are probably right and it probably is a cold but we can’t take that risk right now. To be fair overall everyone has been great but it’s defiantly been a challenge.

Something people don’t tell you is the higher up you go, the less direct contact you have with the children and I find that sad. Especially during Covid times, I can’t tell you the last time I sat with a child and read them a story.
@Menstrualcycledisplayteam It is a chain, but a small one based in Hertfordshire (less than 10). I’ve worked for a large chain before (over 20 nurseries) and I’ve sworn to myself never again. Never been treated so badly as then. In my experience, you become a number and nothing more. The area manager coming in, and ripping down displays that we had managed to do whilst trying to care for the children as well was heartbreaking and I saw a number of staff in tears numerous times, myself included. I’m sure not all large chains are the same but I certainly didn’t have a positive experience.

Do you have a high staff turnover?

What do you actually think of parents that constantly want updates?

Will you really tell me if my DC has been upset there or do you just want my money?

Hi OP
Do you expect parents to pay if you ask the child to isolate for being in contact with a positive case in their room?
I’ve been asked to isolate my child twice in a month now for 10 days and nursery says they can’t refund or even a gesture of goodwill.
What’s your nursery or group stand on this?

@Katjolo No not at all, but I have worked in a nursery which has. Losing a staff member each month for a year. I totally know why as we were treated terribly but I know it concerned the parents. Now I would say my nursery maybe loses someone each year, it is a job where a lot of young people start and maybe realise it’s harder than they thought. But if your child’s nursery has staff that have been there for years, it means they are doing something right.
@FTEngineerM Regarding updates, it depends on what your expectation is tbh. Some parents I know really don’t care about what we do paperwork wise and never ask. Others want detailed reports weekly. It’s getting the balance right. At my setting I expect all children to have something written down weekly to be shared with parents, and every 6 weeks a more detailed report regarding their development. If a parent asked for more than that, I would have a chat with them and explain how the staff have to fit those things in whilst caring for the children. Tho I am always happy to chat with a parent on the phone to discuss their child. Can I ask are you happy with the nursery? What feedback are you getting currently? Has it changed? And yes I would totally tell you if I thought your child was unhappy. Of course children cry, but if I really thought there was a problem I would speak to you to discuss it and put a plan in place. That makes the staffs job easier in the long run. If he cries today over a toy for 5 mins then moved onto to something else, then no as that would be silly. If I thought he was generally more upset today than normal then I would tell you and ask you if he was ok at home etc. Regarding money, yes I want you to pay your fees so I can pay my staff but I went into this for the love of children not to make money.
@MummytoNoor No we don’t ask parents to pay if we ask them to SI. If your choosing at the moment to keep your child off then yes fees are due as normal tho I can tweak them to the minimum if your child isn’t attending. I would question this as there has been a lot in the news about not charging for a service you can’t provide which essentially is what your nursery is doing. However they may be very worried about their finances so do keep that in mind. But overall no I don’t think they should be doing that.

Thank you for the detailed response.

DC hasn’t started yet, starts in a fortnight and I’m petrified. Haven’t even been allowed in the setting because of covid. I haven’t been able to meet any of the people my child will spend all day with, I just have to walk up and hand him over to a masked woman we’ve never met then leave.

It goes against every fibre of my being as a mother. I wanted to know how often you’d tolerate me checking he’s ok. I don’t want to seem overbearing but I have to check of them.

I’d want them to tell me if the setting isn’t suitable for my child and their needs rather than continue and take my money.

@FTEngineerM I would like to think that they will be very understanding during this time. Have you asked for a phone call from his key worker? We offered this and it really helped the parent feel better as they spoke to the person who actually is going to care for their child. I wouldn’t judge you for ringing twice a day at the start. If it makes you feel any better, we have had numerous children start during this and they haven’t settled in any worse than children during normal times. It is harder on the parents tho for sure. How old is he? The handing over part is always the worst part, once he is in the classroom, the children tend to accept what’s going on and go with the flow. How many days is he going? In my experience it takes a child about a month or so to really settle.
Hope this all helps :-)

@FTEngineerM Oh and twice I have done exactly that. Told a family we weren’t the right nursery for them. In fairness there were other factors as well as they expected 1:1 care which we just couldn’t accommodate. Other parent wanted me to put cameras in the classroom so they could log in and watch their child all day. We actually do have cameras but not for parents to view.

Do you think that all children adapt to nursery or are some just not suited to that setting?

My kids are all beyound nursery now. Have you ever without any external input or input from parents picked up SEN issues?

I had a non verbal ASD child raise no concerns and a dyspraxic child also raise no alarms.

But in my case they was both under paeds. The nursery had no concerns for either of them and didnt see any additional needs at all. Even with a four year old that never talked one word

@notamumyet2010, you sound lovely.

@Kottbullar That’s a really good question. I think most children can adapt to it yes, but there has been children that I can see just get thru the day rather than thrive. That’s always hard to witness and I put a lot of things in place to help those children. But overall I will say more often than not the child adapts to their surroundings, some just take a little longer than others. I’ve seen children turn 3 and suddenly become the most confident child ever and before that they barely engaged with the staff or children at all.
@Legoandloldolls Unfortunately yes I’ve been told in the past to not mention concerns I have about a child as they will sort it out when they get to school! I have also had parents tell me there is nothing different about their child until they go to school and then suddenly the school won’t take them as their needs are too high. I always try and support the parents to choose the right school for the child but I know it can be very hard hearing your child needs support and there is only so much I can do. Private settings don’t get much support for additional needs at all, we are very much expected to get on with it and that can be very difficult depending on the need of the child and of course keeping the other children and staff safe as well.
@ssd Thank you! That’s lovely to hear. Not going lie sometimes I feel like giving up but I can’t imagine doing anything else. I just want all the children to have a lovely time, develop well and be happy.