I have binge eating disorder, AMA.

[PuzzledObserver]

I think it started as a bit of comfort eating when I was quite young (infants school). I was put on a diet at 11. By the time I was in my mid teens, I would have met the criteria for Binge Eating Disorder.

I have been obese virtually all my adult life, with massive weight swings - BMI has ranged from 23 (very briefly) to 48.5. Most of the time over 40.

I’m now focussing on improving my relationship with food through intuitive eating, rather than weight loss per se.

Ask me anything.

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/types/binge-eating-disorder

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK338301/table/introduction.t1/

I think I have this too, although I've never been diagnosed. I go through a cycle of h amiiting how I look to eating to feeling disgusted with myself to eating even more because of that.
I don't know when to stop. I did slimming world and lost 4.5 stone, got down to the lowest weight I've been for about 15 years and still didn't like the way I looked as I was starting to get loose skin. I gained it all back plus an extra 3 stone
How is intuitive eating going? I have a book on it but haven't read it yet.

@Heartofglass12345 I haven’t been formally diagnosed either, but I very clearly meet all of the criteria.

Intuitive eating makes perfect sense to me, but it’s easier said than done. Restricting what you eat is the core problem. If you ever find yourself feeling fat or concerned that you’ve eaten too much, it is the most natural thing in the world to think, oh I’ll just cut down a bit.

I’ve found not weighing myself really powerful - although scary. Took me several months to cut it down to the point where I wasn’t waking up every morning wanting to weigh. When I have had a binge, I think if I had weighed soon after (as I wanted to do) it would have perpetuated the concern about my eating. Without weighing, the concern fades away pretty quickly.

I’ve only binged twice since July. That doesn’t mean it’s over, but it is good progress.

I’ve been having counselling for binge eating disorder.

Since this is a ama, how have you managed to not binge since July?(which is fantastic btw!)

Following, I have this too.

@ChittyChittyBoomBoom

It started with the familiar feeling of “I have to do something about my weight.” I had been on one long slow-rolling binge since the start of lockdown, with loads of crisps, biscuits, chocolate etc.

I decided to stop buying the snacks and sweets as a regular thing. Still ate the same sort of meals, with pudding every day, but any snacks were lighter things like toast or a bowl of cereal. I tried to avoid grazing. So I was eating plenty of food, not starving myself, and I still had puddings regularly and cakes/sweets occasionally. But I was aware of the risk of psychological deprivation leading to bingeing, and also that frequent weighing was probably not helpful.

I spent a couple of months doing some fairly intensive work with EFT and Optimal EFT (check out emofree.com) which has the effect of neutralising the lingering emotional effects of past events which have shaped your beliefs and behaviours.

In my case, I was harbouring beliefs like “I don’t deserve to eat”, “nothing I do is worth anything if I’m fat”, “I’m no good at anything,” “food is the only thing I can trust,” “I need to eat it now because I won’t be allowed it tomorrow.” When you say them out loud, they are clearly ridiculous and untrue. But they feel true, and you behave as if they are. As I gradually chipped away at these buried beliefs, I became less compulsive around food.

Then I read Intuitive Eating and also started watching a YouTube channel called The Binge Eating Therapist. I do my best to follow their advice.

I don’t weigh myself.
I allow myself to eat any and every type of food.
I try to pay attention to my feelings of hunger and fullness.

I don’t always get it right, but I am committed to not restricting my food intake in order to lose weight. I want to allow my weight to settle wherever is natural and sustainable for my body - although God knows where that will be. I have never had a stable weight in my entire life. Some days this approach feels perfectly reasonable, other days it is a real struggle. I am not thin, for the avoidance of doubt.

Hi, thank you for this thread. What would you eat during a typical binge?

Thanks for starting this. I believe I have elements of this. I'm not obese but overweight. Is being obese part of the criteria? Do you think there's a difference between binge eating and emotional eating (apart from maybe the amounts of food)?

Why did you start comfort eating and could your parents have done anything different to support you?

Do you tell your friends about it or keep it private?

If one of your friends was concerned or noticed your binge eating, would you rather they said something or kept their nose out?

@FestiveFannyGallops

Hi, thank you for this thread. What would you eat during a typical binge?

It varies.

Sometimes lots of different things one after another, e.g. crisps, then biscuits, then chocolate, then sweets.

Sometimes it is a lot of one thing, like a whole carton of icecream, or a whole 200g bar of chocolate.

Sometimes it can be lots of different things over an extended period, with little breaks in between. Going back for more after half an hour. Then again. And again. And again.

Mainly sweet things. Mainly things you wouldn’t eat on a diet. I have never binged on lettuce, although I sometimes have what I call a “yog out”, when I eat one yogurt after another.

@Balaur

Thanks for starting this. I believe I have elements of this. I'm not obese but overweight. Is being obese part of the criteria? Do you think there's a difference between binge eating and emotional eating (apart from maybe the amounts of food)?

No, weight is not part of the criteria. People can be normal weight and have BED. That said, they are more often overweight. Prevalence of BED rises with BMI. Overall it is 2% of adults, but around 30% of people seeking treatment for obesity.

Personally I’m surprised it’s not higher, but that’s what the statistics say.

Binge eating is more than emotional eating.

I think emotional eating is so common it’s practically normal, loads of people will have a favourite food to cheer themselves up when they’ve had a hard day. With a binge, however, you feel compelled to continue. And, you feel guilty and ashamed of it afterwards... desperate.... disgusted with yourself.

Binges are usually done in secret. We hide the evidence. We fear being discovered.

How do you feel health wise? Like on a day to day basis do you feel your body is working with you rather than against you?

@AnneLovesGilbert

Why did you start comfort eating and could your parents have done anything different to support you?

It’s difficult to be certain about why I started, because I was so young, the memories are sketchy. I always felt a little bit ‘apart’ in my family. I was picked on by my older siblings and taken advantage of for their amusement. My parents were quite strict and did not appear to know the meaning of unconditional love. You always had to behave, do everything right and there was never any praise for doing that, only criticism when you didn’t. And since the minimum pass level was perfection.....

I was sexually assaulted at school (by fellow pupils) when I was 6. The adult I told, told me not to make a fuss. I suppose I was lonely and felt I didn’t quite belong.

I still don’t know whether my parents knew I had an eating problem. They knew that I was helping myself to biscuits between meals, because they locked the pantry door to stop me. I think they saw it as bad behaviour rather than a sign of emotional turmoil.

They knew I was gaining weight from when I was 8. The response was to limit biscuits further, try to get me to switch from sugar to sweeteners in tea, talk to their friends (in front of me) about my puppy fat and eventually put me on a diet.

What could they have done differently.... maybe ask me if something was bothering me. They did a good job of reinforcing the idea that sweets were treats and only for good people, because I was given sweets to cheer me up when I hurt myself, but also denied sweets as punishment when I’d been naughty. And then denied sweets when I gained weight, hence teaching me that fat=naughty.

I’m not sure if that really answers your question, but I think you can get a reasonable picture of how my relationship with food got screwed up.

@peakotter

Do you tell your friends about it or keep it private?

If one of your friends was concerned or noticed your binge eating, would you rather they said something or kept their nose out?

I have only very recently told a couple of friends and my sisters, and my husband. I haven’t yet felt able to tell my mother (my father is dead). I am 56.

Friends would be extremely unlikely to notice my binge eating, because it happens in secret. They might notice weight change,- but weight is the wrong focus. Anyone who attempts to advise me on weight loss is likely to get a frosty reception.

However, if a friend noticed my rapid weight changes, and had some awareness of BED, and approached me in the right way, that might work. Something like, “Please don’t be upset - I’ve noticed how your weight changes quite quickly, and I wondered whether you sometimes eat in ways that make you uncomfortable? Do you sometimes feel you are out of control around food?”

It’s too late now - because I know, iyswim. But if someone had said that to me 25-30 years ago, maybe I could have entered recovery sooner.

@BubblyBarbara

How do you feel health wise? Like on a day to day basis do you feel your body is working with you rather than against you?

Well, I have type 2 diabetes, and my size makes it difficult to be as active as I would like. But I do walk regularly, fairly briskly. For the most part I feel my body is working with me. It’s amazing that, after what I’ve put it through, my health isn’t worse. It’s brilliant that it can get fitter.

Have you ever looked into if you might be ADHD as binge eating is a symptom and adhd medication are also used for binge eating .

@Indoctro

Have you ever looked into if you might be ADHD as binge eating is a symptom and adhd medication are also used for binge eating .

As it happens, I looked into this very thing about 18 months ago. I got intensely interested in it - I have a tendency to get intensely interested in things. I discovered that getting referred for assessment would probably take over a year, and lost interest.

I also procrastinate, am not good at maintaining close relationships and really only want to be doing the thing I am interested in at the time. All ADHD traits, I believe.

That is heartbreaking OP, on many levels. My heart goes out to you

Have you spoken to someone about the assault since? What’s your relationship with your family like now?

You should seek a diagnosis because if so you might well get medicated which will help get your eating under control and lower for your bmi hopefully to a healthy level, plus give you a reason as to why you behave the way you do.

First port of call is a discussion with your GP and no it doesn't always take a long time for a diagnosis.

Good luck x

@AnneLovesGilbert

That is heartbreaking OP, on many levels. My heart goes out to you

Have you spoken to someone about the assault since? What’s your relationship with your family like now?

I didn’t speak about it for 46 years. I was told not to make a fuss, remember.

I realised through attending safeguarding training at work that it was an assault. I contacted a sexual assault support charity and had a number of online conversations with them, I also talked about it when a Imwas in counselling for depression and anxiety. I “own” it now, IYSWIM. Again, I have told my sisters and husband, but not my mother.

My relationship with my family is generally good, but there are still a few off-limits areas with my mum. I’m working on that.

@Indoctro - thank you for the suggestion, I’ll give it some thought.

Part of me is saying I don’t need to trouble them with it, I can look after myself etc. But I also recognise that is part of not valuing myself. Children should be seen and not heard. Don’t make a fuss.

thank you for answering my question. I'm sorry you went through that.

I have disordered eating too @PuzzledObserver.

Ive been diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. And one of my issues is binge eating.
It's not as bad as it used to be when I would spent ££££s on crap food & got in lots of debt.

Now I'm dieting. I'm counting calories which is addictive too! But when I need a binge I eat all my low calorie protein bars & cereal bars then I have to buy more.

At least I'm not going to Tesco buying endless boxes of chocolates, cakes, ice cream, haribo, crisps, cheeses etc etc. any more.., or getting up to 2 takeaways 4 x a week!!

I stopped 'binge buying' crap food mainly because I'm scared of having a stroke, of getting diabetes or cancer through obesity.
Also because I was in debt.
I want to loose nearly 3 stone so I won't get so much back pain, & chest pain, & breathlessness on exertion.

Sometimes the feeling of being depressed bored or lonely is greater than my desire to lose weight and I may have a small binge.
But generally I think I'm winning.

@Tehmina23 that sounds like a lot to deal with.

As I sit here trying to decide what to write, I’m conscious of feeling very fat. But as someone with BED, I am advised not to try to lose weight, even though I am very obese.

It’s hard.

OTOH, it’s a relief to not “have to” diet. OTOH, I see people such as yourself saying they are dieting, and wonder if I should too.

I shouldn’t. I know this. But I am also vulnerable to the weight stigma which is everywhere, and the general societal belief that thin=good and fat=lack of discipline=bad.

You know, our bodies have exquisite mechanisms for regulating our energy intake to exactly match what we need. We don’t trust them, so we eat according to plans and schedules and peer pressure. We have been taught from a young age that food is comfort, so we use it to deal with emotions.

It’s messed up.

Yes the problem is that if you have an addictive type of personality like me then dieting is as addictive as binge eating.

I now find it difficult to eat normally at all.