Widower help

[ewan35]

Hello, first post so please be gentle. I saw a post about this but my circumstances are a bit different.

I lost my wife 7 weeks ago due to a long battle with cancer. The first 7 weeks have been tough but the kids and I are Doing ok.

My question is about my wedding ring. It's making me feel sad but I don't want to disrespect my wife. Does anyone have advice on timelines of taking it off or moving it to my other hand.

Any advice would be appreciated

I’m really sorry to hear about your wife. Do whatever helps you and the children, but don’t take it off because it makes you feel sad. It is sad. Devestatingly sad. Sometimes you just have to wade through it.

Hi ewan if it's making you too sad, take it off and put it somewhere safe. She would understand, and wouldn't want you to be miserable. You can go back to it later. You could even have the two rings melted together at some point to make a new piece to remember her by. I did this, along with some of late DH's ashes. I don't wear it all the time anymore, but it's there if I need it.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I’m really sorry for your loss.

My mother had the same issue with her wedding ring. In the end, she lost so much weight and didn’t want to alter it, so the decision was made for her.

My own feeling is keep it on. Unfortunately everything will make you sad at the mo.

Do you know there’s a bereavement board on here? If you report your own post to MN, they will move this for you, if that’s a better choice.

Thank you all for your comments. Your pretty much confirming what I thought myself to keep it on.

@AcornAutumn

I’m really sorry for your loss.

My mother had the same issue with her wedding ring. In the end, she lost so much weight and didn’t want to alter it, so the decision was made for her.

My own feeling is keep it on. Unfortunately everything will make you sad at the mo.

Do you know there’s a bereavement board on here? If you report your own post to MN, they will move this for you, if that’s a better choice.

Hello I did look for bereavement are but couldn't find it 🤦‍♂️

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/bereavement

I'm sorry for your loss. I wear my eternity ring on my ring finger. I did wear DH's wedding ring and my engagement ring as well for about 6 months after he died, but I lost too much weight and was scared of losing them so they are in my jewellery box. I have a ring with his ashes in that I wear on my other hand.

Nobody should judge you for what you do with your ring, your bereavement journey is personal to you. I only don't wear my wedding ring because it was lost years ago. I still feel married, hence wearing the eternity ring - I was widowed nearly 2 years ago - but know other widows who no longer wear their rings, and have put theirs with their late husband's in a frame, or even had the two melted down and made into a new piece of jewellery. It's up to you.

Hi ewan35,

We're terribly sorry to hear of your loss - would you like us to move your thread across to the bereavement board for you?

We're pleased to see there's lots of support here for you.

@FlissMumsnet

Hi ewan35,

We're terribly sorry to hear of your loss - would you like us to move your thread across to the bereavement board for you?

We're pleased to see there's lots of support here for you.

That would great thanks

Do whatever feels right to you, there is no timeframe for this.

Fwiw I continued to wear mine (didn't quite make our 1st wedding anniversary, chose the ring knowing that would be the case). I did speak to a jewellers about resizing it after a couple of years but the though made me so sad that I didn't go through with it. I actually stooped wearing all my jewellery at the beginning of lockdown when I was furloughed for a month and did a lot in the garden, and I haven't gone back to it.

It's a shit time, I'm sorry for your loss.