I'm a lesbian who only ever dated men AMA
wenhen11 · 27/05/2020 00:49
So like my title says, I've only ever dated men and recently come out (in my 30's)
Wagamamas · 27/05/2020 04:15
Elephant in the room, How do you know you're lesbian as opposite to bi curious?
Whatsupdog · 27/05/2020 08:34
Did you come out when you were in a relationship with a man? Did you have any inkling you might be a lesbian whilst dating men? What made you realise you were a lesbian eventually?
FairlowWonder · 27/05/2020 08:35
Why do you consider yourself a lesbian and not bisexual?
Siepie · 28/05/2020 00:08
Did you know you weren't attracted to the men you were dating?
Why did you date them? Was there something that made you feel differently about them than you feel about platonic friends?
I'm a lesbian who's never dated men (unless you count my 'boyfriend' when I was 9!) and I've often wondered about these things, but it's not something you can really ask people in real life!
waitingforadulthood · 28/05/2020 00:14
Were you lonely before? Without a community? Feeling both afraid to be you, and afraid to expose? I don't want to let anyone down.
That's how I feel. As a lesbian who's only ever been with men.
WinWinnieTheWay · 28/05/2020 00:29
When did the penny drop? Was it an epiphanies moment or a slow awakening?
Teabaseddiet · 28/05/2020 00:37
So were you never attracted to men? Why did you date them if so?
Are you in a lesbian relationship now?
How do you know that you'll never be attracted to another man (& therefore be bisexual, rather than lesbian)?
ChaoticGouda · 04/06/2020 21:27
Never got to the point of dating blokes, but I was in a similar position to you too, OP.
There's a theory called "coercive heteronormativity" where non-straight women are taught and pressured into the belief that they must be attractive and available to men, and this can be why so many lesbians, or queer women, end up dating men and having intimate relationships with them. What are your thoughts on this theory? Do you feel it plays into your past relationships?
I'm here if you ever want to talk, too. Working through who you are and how your heart works can take a lot of work and time, but it's true what they say - the truth can set you free
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