I was donor conceived AMA

[TheAwakening]

Need some distraction from everything that's going on so wondered if anyone wanted to ask me any questions about being donor conceived, if you are planning to do it yourself or already have a donor conceived child etc. I hope I might be able to help!

I'm 32, was conceived with donor sperm because my mum's husband at the time was infertile, and have never met/contacted my donor as it was anonymous back then.

AMA!

Do you worry about inherited conditions?

Are you tempted to use the ancestry / 23 and me family history DNA testing to try to find biological relatives?

@june2007 sometimes, but I already have a doozie of an inherited condition from my mum so that's taken centre stage I guess. I had the 23 and me test to check if I was a carrier for things like cystic fibrosis and that was all ok. It was tricky when pregnant as I didn't know how to answer the questions about family history and whether I should have had a diabetes test, but I think they did basic screening for donors back then to make sure there wasn't anything too bad in their families.

@CheriLittlebottom I've done ancestry and 23 and me for other reasons, to find out my ethnicity as had no clue, and to check for some hereditary conditions. I do have the odd dna relative on there (2nd-3rd cousins) and always worried that someone closer might pop up. I hope the donor wouldn't go on there but their kids/siblings easily could.

Does a part of you wish that you might get a close relative (sibling?) pop up on the family tree sites, or would you rather avoid it?

You mention your "mum's husband". Did/do you see him as your dad, and if not, is that because of the donor sperm or because of other issues within that relationship? I know that's a very personal question! Please forgive me and don't answer if it's too intrusive!

Youndaybyour mums husband was infertile. You dont class him as your dad then?

I am going to follow this thread because I am currently pregnant, conceived with donor sperm so it will be great to hear your experiences.

@CheriLittlebottom in some ways I'd be fascinated, especially to see what they looked like. But it would open such a huge can of worms and I respect the donor's right to anonymity, so I wouldn't make contact. No idea what I'd do if they contacted me though!

@Happynewyear22 @Cynara they split up when I was a baby and I have no relationship with him now- for a while I thought he had rejected me because I wasn't his biological child, but have since realised he's just a shitty person in general. My mum got with my stepdad when I was very young and he's always been my dad to me, and just reinforces how biology really isn't everything!

Thank you for answering - that makes perfect sense.

@CleverQuacks congratulations! Happy to answer any questions you have

I have a two-year-old DD who was conceived with donor sperm. If you don’t mind, I’d like to ask about how you found out you were donor conceived. How old were you and do you think it was handled well?