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AMA

My dad is a heroin addict AMA

16 replies

itse · 16/01/2020 21:30

I've name changed incase some of the details are outing.

I'm 19 with one DC (19 months) - AMA.

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BrotherMouzone · 16/01/2020 21:34

Hello.it is lovely to hear you have a family ...how did your fathers addiction affect you growing up. I really hope you are happy now

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itse · 16/01/2020 21:56

@BrotherMouzone

Thank you! Yes I'm happy. It has been a long journey with lots of ups and downs. I remember often feeling really disappointed and let down by my dad. I also felt a constant state of worry surrounding his addiction. I used to feel that he didn't care about me - but there's only so much you can understand about addiction as a child. Things are better now.

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onemorerose · 16/01/2020 21:57

Hi, glad to hear you are happy now. How did your dad get into heroin?

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itse · 16/01/2020 22:14

@onemorerose

I don't know why / how heroin specifically. I think he'd been smoking weed for a while beforehand but after his father died tragically, (when my dad was 17) it escalated to harder drugs.

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BrotherMouzone · 16/01/2020 22:35

How is your dad health wise ....? Is he intravenous user and for how long now ? How does he fund this ? Has he been on any programmes to wean him away from the heroin....I know how hard this must be for you, and him.

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Branleuse · 16/01/2020 22:37

Did you live with him

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onemorerose · 16/01/2020 22:42

Sorry to hear that his dad died when he was so young, that’s a lot for a 17 yr old to go through, how did his dad die? Did you live with him growing up? How did your mum cope with this?

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itse · 16/01/2020 23:48

@BrotherMouzone
My grandfather died of lung cancer, I think it has been a terribly painful loss for my dad.

When I was 3 my dad went into rehab and he was clean for 8 years. Then he relapsed badly, the past 6 years have been hell but he has just gone into a treatment centre to get well which is brilliant.

He smoked heroin and said he's never injected. In the past 6/7 years he's appeared to be tired & v skinny so his health has suffered. Thankfully he is already looking so much healthier in recent weeks.

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itse · 16/01/2020 23:49

@Branleuse

No, I would stay with him fairly regularly though.

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itse · 16/01/2020 23:51

@onemorerose

I answered about my grandfather in PP. My mum & him split when I was a baby but remained friends. I think it has been incredibly hard for my mother but she has been such a strong support system for him.

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itse · 16/01/2020 23:57

@onemorerose

Sorry - posted too soon!

I didn't live with him but I'd regularly go and stay with him for a weekend or during the day. When he relapsed (when I was 11/12) I saw him far less & his communication with us (his family, me + my mum) became unreliable & just odd really.

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turnedabout · 17/01/2020 00:15

How does he feel about his addiction? Does he actually want to stop?

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Branleuse · 17/01/2020 10:11

did he put you in dangerous situations?

Do you think its skewed your idea of what miht be normal in terms of behaviour?

What do you think of the people he hung around with? Do you think you are vulnerable to that sort of lifestyle or has it gone the other way and put you off?

How do you feel about your mum letting you stay with him?

Were you scared?

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itse · 17/01/2020 11:02

@turnedabout

I think he feels ashamed & guilty. He's the only member of our family who has had an illness (for lack of a better word) like this, so I think he feels a great deal of shame surrounding his addiction.

I believe that this time he truly wants to get better. He started talking about his addiction differently & seems to have a healthier mindset. I've spoken to his 1:1 person at the rehab who said that my dad is doing well.

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itse · 17/01/2020 11:15

@Branleuse

It's weird because my dad presents himself to be very 'normal'. He's well dressed, well spoken & charismatic - meaning he hides his addiction well, nobody would guess!

He kept his friends / dealers etc & the people from that side of his lifestyle very separate from me, so I never saw anything scary or nasty. I think my mum trusted my dad to look after me & shelter me in that way, so on that trust she'd let me stay with him. That said, there was a long period (over a year) where I didn't see my dad & then he came and stayed with us instead.

My mum raised me well & I have a big, loving family so for the most part I experienced a normal childhood - so I don't feel as though I have been subject to a skewered perception of normal.

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itse · 17/01/2020 11:26

@Branleuse

I have little respect for any of the people he hung around with, although on the whole I suppose it is sad & I hope they find some sort of help.

No, I don't think I'm vulnerable to that sort of lifestyle thankfully. I have no interest in drugs, although I do like a drink every now and then.

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