I'm a reformed criminal, AMA.

[Linsters]

So, I fell into a life of crime and for a long time struggled to see anything wrong with what I was doing - I was stealing from others, defrauding businesses and (without wanting to sound like I'm bragging - because it's certainly not something to be proud of!) I was actually very good at doing it and covering my tracks. I got away with it for many, many years.

Eventually, as is inevitably the case, I became lax and was caught out. Well, if I'm being totally honest even then I wasn't caught, but I'd done enough to arouse suspicions and mean that continuing my life of crime would not have been easy, if possible. It's the best thing that could ever have happened to me!

No longer living that lifestyle I found myself unable to live with the guilt of what I'd done for so long, I developed a conscience. I came clean, was convicted for my crimes and served my sentence. I lost my relationship, my home, my career, the respect and trust of everybody who knew me and my life was basically in tatters.

This all happened years ago, and it's taken me until now to be able to turn things around and do some good, give something back to the communities I stole from and use my talents to help instead of hurting people. Now, approaching a couple of decades since I embarked on my life of crime and almost a decade since I threw everything away, I dedicate as much of my life as I can to helping those less fortunate, those without an income, a home or hope for a future. Those in that dark place that I once called home.

I'll never be perfect, and I'll never get away from my murky past, but I was given a second chance at life and my way of repaying that is by giving others the same.

Anyway, I don't know what there is to ask, but if there is then ask away.

What exactly did you do?!

What do you do to help your community now ?

I was a thief, I stole money which I had no right to take and I defrauded my employer and other organisations of money. Part of my punishment, quite rightly, was to repay what I had taken.

I now work with the most vulnerable in our community. I've helped the homeless, those unable to feed themselves and their families due to benefit issues, helped people to find work and also worked with other former offenders to help them find a purpose in life. Whilst I have a paid job in order to live, the rest of my time where possible is now dedicated to trying to repair some of the damage I caused and to help others find a way forward.

Did you find it difficult to get a job with a criminal record?

Yes, very. I'll never be able to work in my 'chosen' career again, so all of the years of study and training to qualify were wasted, but I fully accept that was my own fault, I chose to commit the crimes and I have to accept the consequences of my actions.

I now work in a much lower level position, in an entirely unrelated field, and consequently earn an awful lot less money. But, I'm happy doing what I do now, and it allows me the time to volunteer which I certainly would never have had before.

What made you change? I can't imagine I would be brave enough to give myself up if id got away with it for so long

What was your turning point? Do you think it came from within or external influences?

Was there something from your background that led you into crime or the path you chose?

Fair play to you for changing your life and helping others. I'm deeply ashamed to admit I have a drink driving offence. Its absolutely no excuse but I was 21 years old and both of my parents were terminally ill(and passed away a few months later).

I am now disgusted and horrified with my actions. I wish I could work to help people like you are, unfortunately I just have a shitty office job so that's not going to happen. I feel guilt all the time about what I did. 6 years later and it still haunts me.

I'm glad you've turned a corner op.

If you hadn’t been caught would you still be doing it?

What was your chosen field that you qualified in?

I don't think there was one real turning point, I think it was a combination of things all at once. Overall it was the guilt, I'd never felt that before and I don't know why I started to, but it began to eat away at me to such an extent that I couldn't live with it any longer. I needed to clear my conscience, I needed to come clean and not live my life looking over my shoulder all the time. It was an enormous release, everything happened so suddenly and my whole life crumbled around me in an instant, but as I emerged from it I no longer had any inclination to act that way again, I don't know why but my whole outlook on life had changed. I was no longer materialistic, no longer driven to achieve what I wanted by any means. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a very determined person, but I try now to channel that into good rather than being selfish.

There was a background of crime on one side of my family, although absolutely none at all on the other. I guess it was a path I chose myself, I wasn't guided along it, although having seen people getting away with things probably gave me a confidence that I could do the same. I don't really know, I didn't ever wake up one day and think I wanted to go out and steal (in the same way I did wake up one day and think I no longer wanted to), but I guess I just kind of fell into it over the space of a few years. Starting with petty things and then moving up as I gained confidence.

1. Are you male of female?
2. What made you steal in the first place? The thrill or maintaining a lifestyle above your means?

How does it feel when people don't trust you ?

I'm male.

It was maintaining a lifestyle above my means - if I'm honest I already had it pretty good, but that seemingly wasn't enough. It was greed, pure and simple. At times I tried to use my ill gotten gains to do some good as a means of justifying it, but clearly that was just trying to quell my own guilt.

The loss of trust was the biggest thing for me, that hurt more than anything, but again was totally deserved. Now, 10 years or so on, it's still always there. My crimes made the news, so I can't hide from my past - trust is hard earned, easily lost and damned near impossible to regain. I'd worked in a position of trust, I was very highly regarded and I threw all of that away.

Now status doesn't matter to me at all - and it's a good job as I don't have any and probably never will - but that people are starting to feel able to trust me again means a great deal. And its a trust which I will never again abuse.

Are you still in contact with any of your family/children?

Do you have friends who knew you before you were convicted?

I presume you got a custodial sentence. Are you still in contact with anyone you met whilst serving your sentence?

How much did you steal/defraud over the whole of your criminal career in money?

Yes still in contact with most of my family - a few have chosen not to, which is quite understandable. It's taken a very long time to rebuild bridges with the majority, although my Mum was always there, as Mums tend to be. My rock.

Similar story with friends, still in touch with most though few have taken completely different paths - much more distant contact with the majority these days, but friendly if cautious terms probably describes it well.

I was extremely lucky to avoid an immediate custodial sentence, mostly due to my previous good character and the good I had managed to do through my former career etc. I had a lengthy suspended sentence, a very onerous community sentence and enough financial penalties to wipe me out completely and still be paying them back all these years later. But all deserved, I probably felt a little bitter about them at the time but now I realise how lightly I got off really. Not in contact with any of the others I served my community order with, but I did build a friendship with one of the people supervising it and they've played a big part in my taking the steps I have in the right direction.

It's difficult to put a figure on it, but in the tens of thousands of pounds. Certainly the amount I had to repay, the amount able to be quantified, was well into that region. Plus lots of costs on top.

Good for you, to turn things around.

How did you repay your ill gotten gains if you lost your job? Do you still owe any money?

What money I had, my assets (home, car etc.) all had to go to repay what I owed.

I lost my former well paid career, but have been fortunate enough to find work and have continued to make payments out of my income. Yes I still owe money now, although this is just the remaining legal costs awarded against me and is nearly paid off. It's taken many, many years to pay it as I now earn less than a quarter of what I used to.

Are you in a relationship/ married now? Did you tell them when you first met of your past? How did they react?

Also how did you stay strong mentally when you'd lost everything, your house, family, relationship etc? It sounds awful. I would really struggle personally and probably end up worse.

You say you lost your relationship. Were you married? If so, did the marital home have to be sold to pay towards what you owed?

Do you have children?

How did you get used to the loss of income? Did you go without essentials in order to repay your debts? Do you still miss the money or have you got used to it?