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Bulimic for 14 years.....AMA

15 replies

MrsandMrsonedaysoon · 14/11/2019 13:38

I had bulimia for 14 years after seeking help the the Eating Disorder Service I am healthy and fully recovered for the last year. I very nearly died on 2 different occasions and ended up with problems with my body. If I can help a parent or anyone that may need advice or noticing odd behaviours from their children or anyone they know. I hope I can be of some help.

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BeThere · 14/11/2019 13:42

Congratulations on being recovered for the last year. Can I ask was there one thing that really sunk in to make you stop?

MrsandMrsonedaysoon · 14/11/2019 13:51

Thank you. Honestly it was the fear of my loved ones that if this didn’t stop they where going to lose me and it took a lot of courage to accept that this wasn’t my life and that I had more to live for. I had bulimic since i was 15 and had gradually got worse over the years but it all came to a head when one day I decided to stop eating and 6 weeks later not a morsle of food entered my mouth i did this twice. Even the look on my mums face when she caught me falling after having a seizure didn’t deter me everything was through one ear and out of the other. It’s something I had to want and a decision to get better I had to come to me on decision.

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AmICrazyorWhat2 · 14/11/2019 13:54

No questions but I also wanted to say congratulations for beating this horrible illness, it's a huge achievement. Flowers

AlwaysOnAbloodyDiet · 14/11/2019 13:56

What do you think triggered it?

Is it weight related, or deeper than that?

Were you underweight?

SteeeeRuggling · 14/11/2019 13:56

I’m bulimic and desperate to get better. I went to GP last year. Told her everything and she prescribed me sertraline and sent me on my way.
I have 3 children, A lovely partner, a good job. I don’t know why I’m like this.
It’s reassuring to know recovery is possible. I just don’t know how to get there. Every time I purge I think “this is the last time”. But I’m doing it a minimum of 3 times a day.
I just can’t see a way out.
Did you feel like this?

BlastEndedSkrewt · 14/11/2019 14:03

was it after binge eating that you would vomit or also after just a small amount of food?

how has it affected your body long term?

MrsandMrsonedaysoon · 14/11/2019 14:05

Amicrazy. Thank you it’s been a hard road but definitely for the better.

Always. No it’s a lot deeper than that when it first started it was weight over time it became more about control that it was the only thing in my life that I could control and the more things spiralled the more grip it had but it still had an element of weight to it. It all started when I read a magazine a couple weeks previously I had read a story about a girl who was bulimic the day it happened I just had a chicken burger I was never a confident person but I decided to wear a skirt and I got told I had tree trunks for legs and I had thunder thighs I ran to the toilets and did the deed then I learnt I could eat more and more and get rid of it. Eventually I abused laxatives and diuretics and diet pills. And I would excessively exercise and walk. I was never underweight bmi wise my lowest was just over 18 but for my body type I was skin and bones I would count my bones in my spine and take hundreds of photos to compare my body. At the time I had a lot of issues with my mum being ill my dad working away and having a nanny and a carer look after us. It was a big combination of things that cause this to start.

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MrsandMrsonedaysoon · 14/11/2019 14:09

Steeee. Honestly it is the most scariest and amazing thing to do in your life. It’s always that first step and you have so much to live for. I know exactly how you feel about this is the last time and then when you try not to the anxiety gets to much it’s a never ending cycle untill you get that extra push to really go for it. I’d give your gp a call and make an appointment I never thought I’d recover and now I’m sitting here the happiest I have been in my life.

Blast. No it was only ever after a binge. I could binge anything up too 5000 cals in one session with multiple purges in between. It varied over the years from once a day to up to 8 times a day that was my life. If I only had a meal and not a binge it would stay down.

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MrsandMrsonedaysoon · 14/11/2019 14:13

Blast. Sorry didn’t reply to your second message. Long term I have something called Long QD syndrome I have had various bouts hypokalamia and various electrolyte abnormalities but these have been stable since recovery I ended up with PCOS with having no children it’s a very big fear of mine but there is a connection between PCOS and bulimia. Fortunately my bone density is normal but Other than these my long term prognosis is about the same as any other person.

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BlastEndedSkrewt · 14/11/2019 14:21

that's good to know, unfortunately one of nieces suffers from this along with anorexia & is has been receiving treatment as an in patient for quite a long time.

Do you have to make yourself purge or is it something that just happens naturally after a binge as your body has become used to the process?

MrsandMrsonedaysoon · 14/11/2019 14:34

Blast I’m so sorry to hear about your niece it’s awful it really is I hope she can get the recovery she deserves. Purging can mean anything to get rid of food from your body not just throwing up. In my case I took it to extremes. At my worst I used 40 laxatives a day 20 diuretics, diet pills, excessive exercise some days I would walk more bing till night doing 27 mile walks. When I wasn’t binging I was fasting it wasn’t unusual for me to go weeks just surging off water. I did throw up aswell only ever after a binge mostly using my fingers but sometimes I would Tail end of a spatula so the marks on my hand wernt so promement. But I was also able to use the muscles in my stomach to purge for me so I had a combination of methods in my arsenal.

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BlastEndedSkrewt · 14/11/2019 14:43

thank you & thank you for the thread, it's very helpful

MrsandMrsonedaysoon · 14/11/2019 15:02

Your welcome if there’s anything else you would like to know I’d be more than happy to answer.

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KnickerBockerAndrew · 14/11/2019 15:08

Very useful thread. Thanks.
I have huge problems with eating, and find that I can go from undereating (max 200 cals a day) for a few months, to feeling that I have to be better, which, for me, means swinging to the other extreme, and I overeat. I never feel that I can let go of the anxiety around eating. I was wondering how you find a balance, and if you still have to be really aware of how you eat or can you just forget about it?

MrsandMrsonedaysoon · 14/11/2019 15:18

Extremes in eating are very normal in people with an eating disorder. After all these years and possibly to a degree even now I don’t really know what a normal eating pattern is. Even though I have recovered I still have issues with eating too much or not enough sometimes I’m still very aware of what I’m eating to be honest I don’t think I’ll ever have a good relationship with food but providing I’m not back to where I was I’m happy with where I am now. I actually broached this subject with my eating disorder nurse a couple years ago when I was still in the system and for some people they still have and possibly always will have that strained relationship with food but they just don’t act on it.

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