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AMA
Original poster

I was named Co-Respondent AMA

26 replies

utf8decoder · 12/08/2019 10:14

I was named co-respondent in a divorce petition. There isn't much information available about the process and implications. I'll keep it on topic to just the legal side of things.

OP posts:
Twisique · 12/08/2019 10:19

What evidence was needed?
What were the implications for you?

Original poster
utf8decoder · 12/08/2019 10:23

There was no evidence needed, In fact the questions to "when" and "where" were left blank. No real implications apart from having to pay for half of the divorce costs.

OP posts:
Twisique · 12/08/2019 10:37

You had to pay? I didn't know that? What if it wasn't true?

What about long term implications, family history, that kind of thing?
How did it make you feel and are you ok now?

matahairyy · 12/08/2019 10:38

You paid? Bollocks

Original poster
utf8decoder · 12/08/2019 10:44

Yes, the judge "decides" how to split the cost. If it wasn't true, you deny it go to court and pay the costs (although possibly this would incur further costs to pay for your own legal expenses).

No other implications. Nobody knows apart from the people involved in the divorce and the judge.

I really didn't mind, if it gave her some closure I was ok with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
utf8decoder · 12/08/2019 10:46

I paid short of £300. It was a DIY divorce and the judge gave me a whole year to pay it back.

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Rainbowhairdontcare · 12/08/2019 15:25

I thought the advice was to never name a co respondent.

VeThings · 12/08/2019 15:27

Did you get to see the financial info associated with the divorce?

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 12/08/2019 15:29

Your case must have been quite exceptional for this to have happened, which would be interesting but not within the parameters of your ama.

Original poster
utf8decoder · 12/08/2019 15:32

Not because they had to be disclosed to me. All I saw was the divorce petition, with dates of their marriage and a brief description of reasons for divorcing.

OP posts:
Original poster
utf8decoder · 12/08/2019 15:33

What do you mean @Ihopeyourcakeisshit? Do you mean the context of the divorce?

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Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 12/08/2019 15:37

It would be against legal advice to name a co respondent.
I can't understand why anyone would do it.
She must have really hated you given that the legalities would have gone on for ages if you had decided to contest it.

Original poster
utf8decoder · 12/08/2019 15:39

It was a very short lived affair. He announced he was leaving within weeks of meeting. Nothing is black and white, but I'm sure if you're happy to leave so quickly, you were going to at some point regardless.

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Original poster
utf8decoder · 12/08/2019 15:42

Ihopeyourcakeisshit I still don't understand why she did it. I had no intention to make her life difficult (although name a co-respondent does delay the process as it has to be seen by two different judges).

The only reason I can think of is the same as yours, that she really hates me.

OP posts:
Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 12/08/2019 15:50

Well, you have some balls doing this ama.?
The other woman no matter how short lived is never going to have a fan club.
Get your armour on.

Original poster
utf8decoder · 12/08/2019 15:52

That's why I'm trying to keep it within the legal aspects of it.

OP posts:
PetraDelphiki · 12/08/2019 15:57

Why is usual advice not to name a co-respondent?

Original poster
utf8decoder · 12/08/2019 16:04

Because the process takes longer, all parties have to co-operate and for the same reasons it can be more expensive in the long run.

OP posts:
Nat6999 · 12/08/2019 16:13

I left my husband for someone else & got told by my solicitor that it is no longer usual to name a co respondent, the only time one is usually named is if the divorce application is contested.

Bluntness100 · 12/08/2019 16:17

Are you still with him? It would read not?

roseapothecary · 12/08/2019 16:27

I guess she named you as it was the truth? Her marriage ended because her husband had an affair with you.
My friend named the OW as the co-respondent in her divorce petition. She did it against legal advice as her exH had lied to the OW who didn't believe that they were married. My friend thought the OW deserved to know the truth.

roseapothecary · 12/08/2019 16:29

I really didn't mind, if it gave her some closure I was ok with it

You're not really in a position to not be okay with it though are you. I would have thought though that there would have to be proof. Can anyone just name somebody as a co-respondent even if it's not true?

pikapikachu · 12/08/2019 16:54

I'm pretty surprised that your affair partner didn't offer to pay the £300.

Twickerhun · 12/08/2019 17:06

Did she have to provide proof? Could you deny it?

Original poster
utf8decoder · 13/08/2019 08:16

No proof was needed, I could have denied it all but didn't see the point, as we were (and are still together). I said I paid the £300 because we are a couple with joint finances.

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