My mum died recently and left her body to science. AMA

[Bowbridge]

It has been an interesting and sad couple of weeks. Lots of friends have asked me about it as it is not the norm.

AMA x

@Bowbridge, you sound so brave and what your Mom did, and how you as a family have supported her is just wonderful

Sorry for your loss. Rip to your lovely mum 👼.

Can you still donate your body if you on the donor register or would that not work.

I think you would have to do one or the other, but there is no reason you could not register for both.

Mum had cancer, which had spread into various organs and her bones, so she could not be an organ donor (she was 74 too).

I suppose it depends on the circumstances in which you pass away. If you have had a recent operation you cannot donate your body to science, but you might be able to donate some organs.

Register for both and let your family know of your wishes. Hopefully it is not something they have to act on for a long time.

With mum we had the conversation about medical donation many years before but only registered her 3 months before she passed away due to the sudden diagnosis of terminal cancer.

Mum's ashes have now been returned to us and she was scattered in Cornwall where she grew up.

Hopefully this thread has been useful and made people realise that just like donating your organs, donating your body after death can be so worthwhile for moving research and medicine forward.

Final update:

The cancelled Thanksgiving service went ahead today for the families of the donors .

It was online but I sat with a cuppa and a tissue and watched the most beautiful service.

Mum's name and photo were shown and listening to the medical students talk about what the donations mean to their studies and learning made me feel immensely proud of her. She certainly gave an amazing gift.

Such lovely updates, @Bowbridge

When I was in my 20s, my then-boyfriend's mum died and also donated her body to science. She was also a nurse, and felt very strongly that her body should do something more 'useful' than just be cremated or buried.

She was very fun, so we used to joke that it was a bit of a shame the students treated the bodies with such upmost respect, because she would probably have loved the idea of them using parts of her for a drinking game

I've also filled out the paperwork, but have ultimately left the decision to DH to do what he and DC need if I was to have a premature death. I know some people take huge comfort in having a grave to visit, where as others prefer to look at photos.

It's so lovely to hear that you and your family are so supportive of your mum's decision

Do you get told what sort of things happen to your DM body?

I did a few sessions in cadaver lab as part of my ODP training. I did wander if the relatives knew specifically what happens to their family who donated. I know some are kept in use for years, and some only for a short while.

Bowbridge, thank you 💐

Do you feel a comfort knowing she is helping people even though she’s no longer here? Or are you uncomfortable about it? I know some people hate their loved ones giving there organs for example but I would take
Comfort in knowing they’d saved a life? Given a baby sight? Made sure a parent didn’t lose their child. So I just wondered if you felt that way or if it’s different?

@XenoBitch

Do you get told what sort of things happen to your DM body?

I did a few sessions in cadaver lab as part of my ODP training. I did wander if the relatives knew specifically what happens to their family who donated. I know some are kept in use for years, and some only for a short while.

@XenoBitch Not sure if you realise this is a real person who's mum has done a wonderful thing? I wouldn't imagine anyone would want to know the ins and outs of the process, the gift itself is enough.

Thank you for posting OP. I am also going to fill out that form. Your mum sounds wonderful 👏

I’m sorry for your loss. My Mum did this 10 years ago. She didn’t want us to have the expense of a funeral 😊
We had a service of remembrance anyway. It was strange not to have the coffin there.
We had to wait a year for her ashes.

I'm a GP, in medical school I spent many hours in anatomy class learning from people like your mum who gave the ultimate gift to benefit our education. Just wanted to say thank you to your family. You have contributed to the future health of so many people by helping train the health professionals of the future. You should be so proud! x

I'm registered to do this, my daughter and sister both know

Just a word of warning for anyone thinking of doing the same it's not guaranteed they will take you.

They may have too many bodies, it may be a bank holiday, you may have died from something that prevents them from taking you.

My daughter was fine with my choice, my sister less so. She accepted my decision though.

It seems to me a good thing to do, opening poster good on your mum.

Thanks for this thread OP. Very interesting and moving.

For anyone thinking about doing this, or for anyone who has a loved one considering this or who has already done this, can I recommend Professor Sue Black's book - All That Remains? She was Professor of Anatomy & Forensic Anthropology at Dundee University - she has since moved to a different job at Lancaster University - and was in charge of the scheme for bodily donations for medical science.

She writes very movingly, but factually, about the benefits of such generosity and how the utmost respect is paid to the donors. It is a brilliant book, but does also cover other elements of her work which people may find distressing, such as mass grave excavations to support prosecutions for war crimes following the Balkans war.

I'm so sorry for your loss, but your DM has done a great and very selfless thing. You should be very proud, which I'm sure you already are x

What a lovely thing to do x

"@XenoBitch Not sure if you realise this is a real person who's mum has done a wonderful thing?
I wouldn't imagine anyone would want to know the ins and outs of the process, the gift itself is enough"

I did not mean any disrespect with my question. I am genuinely curious. The families of organ donors are informed how their relative helped other people.

There was a documentary about this very thing, and it showed the people when they were still alive, and what happened to them after death/donation etc so their family will have known about how their loved ones helped educate student HCP and doctors.

I just wondered if this sort of information was offered if the families of the donor approached the university/hospital and asked. That is all.

We would love to do this, a future Hunter Brother or Simpson may work on our bodies.

@XenoBitch

Do you get told what sort of things happen to your DM body?

I did a few sessions in cadaver lab as part of my ODP training. I did wander if the relatives knew specifically what happens to their family who donated. I know some are kept in use for years, and some only for a short while.

Thank you for your question.

No, we don't get to know what happened to mum or what she was used for. All we were told was that she was taken up to London for preservation and then would be used at the Brighton and East Sussex Hospitals.

Whether she was used for surgical training, undergraduate anatomy training or dissection of a body system, I have great faith in medical ethics and that her body would be treated with respect and furthering the learning of others. Listening to the students and professors speaking at the memorial service was comforting and made me feel nothing but pride in mum's decision.

Mum was only kept for a year and was probably only used for 6 months due to Covid.

@Amandasummers

Do you feel a comfort knowing she is helping people even though she’s no longer here? Or are you uncomfortable about it? I know some people hate their loved ones giving there organs for example but I would take Comfort in knowing they’d saved a life? Given a baby sight? Made sure a parent didn’t lose their child. So I just wondered if you felt that way or if it’s different?

As a family, with both mum and dad coming from medical backgrounds (nurses) and both dying of cancer 3 years apart, we felt great comfort in mum's decision.

If they used mum to further research into the spread of cancer or the impact of cancer on the human body, that would have been good. Usually with organ donation, the death is very sudden and unexpected. With mum, we were able to have the conversation about body donation 3 months before she died. We never spoke about it again and we never had a conversation about a funeral. The last 3 months were about living not dying.

@supercatlady

I’m sorry for your loss. My Mum did this 10 years ago. She didn’t want us to have the expense of a funeral 😊 We had a service of remembrance anyway. It was strange not to have the coffin there. We had to wait a year for her ashes.

We did not have a funeral or service of remembrance. Mum had moved to the other end of the country for a fresh start after my dad died and had made very few close friends. We decided on a family 'celebration of mum's life'. This was a whole weekend spent together sharing memories of mum in a lovely country hotel. We got her ashes back after a year too.

OP, thank you for the thread and I'm sorry for your loss.

Just a quick caveat, as others have said, not all bodies are accepted by medical schools - two of my grandparents planned to donate theirs, but on both occasions they weren't needed. Neither had made a plan B, and it made for some, well, interesting family discussions - discussions that would have been better had under different circumstances. It also meant the family did need to pay for a funeral - thankfully not an issue for us, but it might be for others.

Thanks @bathorshower.

We were not expecting mum to be accepted due to her dying in July (university holiday) and having cancer that was so widespread. We also had the funds for a funeral, but made a donation to the Hospice instead.

I am glad people have found this thread useful. Death and planning for death is often so taboo. So many people in RL have been surprised that you do not have to have a funeral and that you can donate your body not just organs after death.

@trufflypig Saw your post on another thread and thought this thread might help.

@Bowbridge Thanks a lot for this, very informative thread.