My mum died recently and left her body to science. AMA

[Bowbridge]

It has been an interesting and sad couple of weeks. Lots of friends have asked me about it as it is not the norm.

AMA x

@Honeyroar, we had mum's 'celebration of her life' this weekend. It was wonderful. We stayed in a lovely countryside hotel as a family and had a cream tea where we all shared photos and memories. We had a really nice meal at a restaurant and caught up with each other's lives. Then back at the hotel we all sat up reminiscing to well after midnight.

In the morning, we all had breakfast together. We had a balloon with a lovely photo of mum on it at the head of the table. After breakfast, we went out into the gardens for photos then we let mum's balloon go. She got stuck in a tree which made us all laugh. A gust of wind came and she flew off. We watched her go. It was so poignant. It was a wonderful weekend of laughter, tears, family togetherness and fond memories.

That's lovely. I'm glad you had a nice weekend.

Where did you get the balloon from? We're doing a charity walk soon for a hospice that my friend died in, and it would be kinda nice to take a balloon of her with us.

My FIL passed recently and he did exactly the same. We had a memorial service for him with music and photos playing/a slideshow. It was very fitting. There is strict criteria for donating. Death cert only signed by doctor, not coroner. No post mortum and no disease such as MS.

He was a lovely man and will be missed.

Sorry for your loss, Op.

An article about the memorial service for donors held at an American university. It contains addresses given by the students, which show their appreciation. Similar services are held at UK medical schools.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3031438/

Words from a student :

Anatomy was a rigorous course requiring great dedication and devotion. There was a significant amount of material, and very little time to commit details to memory. As an aspiring physician, it was an exciting course as it was the first time we were expected to think like doctors. And as a human being, it was an unusual experience because we were studying human structure from the bodies of people like us. I will refer to those individuals who donated themselves as teachers, because that is exactly what they were. Forgive me, but they were not cadavers or laboratory subjects; rather, they were teachers who helped mold our medical education

Medicine is a unique subject. While there is significant learning from books and in the classroom, so much of a physician's training is accomplished through experience. I vividly recall the first few days. We started by discussing discretion and the importance of respecting the privacy of individuals who donated themselves. We spoke of respecting them and ensuring confidentiality

I realize this morning's ceremony is inevitably difficult for many of you. To reminisce about the lives of loved ones lost can be trying. Yet, I hope this morning can also be a time that we celebrate the lives of your loved ones—celebrate their selfless nature and their devotion to others

Thank you @MORVEN. That was lovely to read.

@Honeyroar, we got the balloon made online at 'Party Delights' (google photo balloons). It was £9.99 plus postage and it comes flat. We popped along to a local card shop nearer the time and they blew it up for us for £2.

We had one for my Grandma (bit of a family tradition) and all the grandchildren wrote messages on the ribbons.

What an interesting thread.

We had a family friend pass away recently aged 40. He had an unexpected bleed on the brain. His organs were donated which gave a lot of comfort to his family.

Bowbridge- What a great thing to do if your organs can't be donated.

As a result of our family friends passing we wrote wills (just simple ones done online-but checked by a solicitor- as recommended by money saving expert). We have been putting it off for years as we thought we would have to pay £££ through a solicitor.

It is good to know that donating your body to science is so straight forward.

Thank you @Bowbridge, it is so interesting to read about your experiences.

My father died a few months ago and just at the end of his life, in hospital, he asked the doctors whether he could donate his body. They said that this had to be arranged earlier - I guess along the lines that you describe - and so it wasn't possible for him. It wasn't a huge issue but I think if he'd known in advance he would have arranged it - so I feel sad for him about that.

I think his immediate family would all have been happy for this to happen, though the not having a funeral aspect may have caused some raised eyebrows among one or two family members. We had a very small family funeral and it was rather lovely as a way of getting our family together and remembering him - just as you'll be doing at the weekend you describe.

I realise that I don't have a question really! But thank you for posting this as it's really helped me understand what's involved.

Nothing to ask, but my uncle did this and if you can go to the medical school service, it’s lovely. All the students go, to say thank you. Sorry for your loss

Thank you for your messages.

Mum signed the paperwork in April and died in July. As I said earlier, it took about 10 minutes to fill in (if that). I think as soon as they receive the paperwork, you are signed up.

Families can change their mind at any time. So even if you sign up, it is not binding. The lady I spoke to on the day mum died at the Human Tissue Authority was lovely and the first thing she did was thank me for making mum's wishes happen and for the generous donation.

Funerals/memorial services can go a head as normal, you just don't have a coffin.

We had no funeral expenses and the cremation will be paid for by the university and mum's ashes returned to us.

We too, Cranmer, have just made wills.

I have just got probate through for mum. We did probate ourselves as it is very straight forward, quick and easy if there is a will in place.

It took a couple of hours to get everything together, an hour to fill in the Inheritance Tax Return and then 10 minutes to do probate (all online and £215). Mum's affairs, including selling her property, have been sorted in 10 weeks.

Solicitors take months and often a sizable chunk of the estate. The internet is so good for guiding you through the process. It has been quite cathartic too.

What an interesting thread. There was a programme on tv a while back about how bodies were used that had been left to science and it was very thought provoking. This is a very generous thing that your DM did @Bowbridge. Sorry for your loss .

Wow.

What an absolutely amazing woman.
You must be incredibly proud.

Food for thought. I must look up and see if its similar in Ireland. I know where I want to be buried but if my ashes were returned, even a couple of years later, they could still be buried or scattered there. I think it is a great thing to do. My friend who is a nurse has said she will do this. Thanks for your post. Hope you are doing relatively ok since your mum died. It's not an easy time 😢

As a recently graduated doctor I would like to say a huge thank you to your mum and to you too for doing this. It is invaluable for our training that people donate their bodies and I can assure you she will be treated with the utmost respect.

Take care

Thank you @juicyjuicymangoes. Your post made me cry. It is lovely, as a family member, to hear from the people that the donors help.

Good luck with your career. I am so pleased mum is helping to train young doctors like yourself who are really grateful for the experience cadavers give them.

Whats the process of donating a body to science? I'm thinking about doing this myself as I've a complex medical history and spinal conditions. I figure that donating my body to science will help improve the understanding of my conditions.

www.hta.gov.uk/donating-your-body

www.kcl.ac.uk/lsm/study/departments/anatomy/lao/donation

With mum, I was able to download the consent form and help her fill it in and then get a neighbour to witness it. It seems now you have to email the medical school and they will send you the consent form. We filled out the form twice. We sent one to the London Anatomy Office and then kept one in the 'In Case of Emergency' tube in the fridge.

This is a 'model' form that was just like the one we filled in. It gives you an idea of how straight forward it was:

www.hta.gov.uk/sites/default/files/HTA-TEM-044%20Model%20body%20donation%20consent%20form%20%28for%20website%29_0.doc

I would love to do that, but have a long term condition... but surely that would help specialist doctors to see the effect on anatomy etc.?

I'm so si sorry, I totally forgot that this thread was based on someone's experience, I have followed all the links and looked into etc., and was treating it very factually.

I am sorry for your loss op, and uppit did be proud of your mum, its a brave choice I think.

I have just read the entire thread. Thank you Bowbridge for sharing your story and answering questions. I hope you and your family are doing well.

It’s 20 years since I was a medical student learning anatomy through dissection. They are still some of my most vivid memories - I remember holding the hand of our patient so that we could look at a particular structure and thinking about the person she must have been and feeling grateful to her.
So thank you to you and your mum. It does help.

Thank you for the links Bowbridge. This is really a great thing to do. Hopefully a good few years yet, but it is something I would like to do. So as a result of your thread, I have signed up if my organs cannot be used for donation.

Thank you so much for this thread. Found it fascinating. What a beautiful, wonderful gift. Something I think a few members of my family would be interested in. Incredible x

I'm so glad I've see this, thank you OP. This is something my Dad has said he wants to do (my mum died in April so I think it's in the forefront of his mind). I have so many questions but reading this has really made a difference- thank you.

A quick update:

Due to Covid, mum's body has been released early for cremation. Usually bodies are used for up to 2 years by universities, but since there have been no students in the labs since March and most university teaching is going online from September, mum will be cremated in a couple of weeks and her ashes returned to us.

Sadly, the service at St George's Cathedral was cancelled too. What has impressed me most is the excellent communication and warmth shown by the London Anatomy Office. Every letter/email written to us has been personal and they have kept us updated every step of the way.

We are so pleased mum made this choice. It has been a really positive experience from a next of kin point of view.