I'm 36 and I've not had sex for five years, ask me anything.

[Stillstrawberrywater]

I'm a 36 year old single mummy to one ds and I've not had sex for five years now. Ask me anything.

Don't you miss it or is it because you are looking for a partner

Both. I miss the companionship and the intimacy.

So why not meet someone

That would be the simple solution. It's difficult meeting new people as a full time working single mum. I'm not just jumping in bed with any random guy either.

Have you thought about getting a FWB? I was in your position before I got married. I saw my FWB about 18 months ago and we have a right good Chinwag, not awkward at all even though he used to come around my flat when DS was out and we’d shag for hours 😜

I have sympathy for you. I didn't have sex for over 4 years of my marriage. I felt lonely and isolated because he was an alcoholic and self absorbed! Do you feel like you could register with a dating site?

I don't really have many single male friends to try FWBs. Most men I know are partners of friends.

Internet dating is very hard work. Its very vain, lots of players, and lots of ghosting going on. I find internet dating demoralising.

Same situation here OP. 4 years for me. It’s very hard to meet people.

So why not meet someone

Why didn’t I think of that? If only it were that easy! I am similar OP. 38 and not had sex for 18 months :( Missing the sex and the intimacy and no real chances of meeting anyone where I am!

Joxer It is incredibly hard to meet people in your 30's I agree. I go swimming, I go to our local pub every now and then, I go to children's day outs/local community activities, etc, but it just seems to be difficult to build up any kind of friendship into relationship with any single guys.

Same situation here OP! I’m not interested in casual sex and I’ve come to realise that I may always be single now. Do you get any pressure from friends and family? How do you handle it if you do?

I constantly get told to get myself on Tinder or told I shouldn’t give up. I like men a lot and I’m attracted to them but I’ve never had reciprocal love in a relationship and I think maybe I’m just not cut out for it and haven’t got what it takes to keep a man interested. I’ve been single for almost 5 years now and feel like this is it now...I’m just single and that’s ok but other people seem to have a hard time accepting it and want me coupled up?

Do you feel accepted as a long term single person?

I think the old school ways of meeting someone still holds true. it may not be a relationship right up front but if you can spare time, join a club (running) or a cause and it can happen. The OP has a young child so this can be tough though. Internet dating is really hard to build a relationship unless you are into just sex :)

Yes all the men, even younger men round here it seems, are married/partnered with children. They’re all sorted! The ones that aren’t, it’s for good reason I guess maybe it’s the same for me (single for good reason from the male perspective! )

I go to child/family events and it’s all married men! School stuff is all married men.

I very rarely get to the pub. Maybe 3 times a year. Because I have very few friends and they don’t want to go out to the pub. It was my birthday last week and I didn’t even get out.

My Dc dad doesn’t see them at all so no nights off to go out and build up a social life/circle.

Eleanor I get massive feel of pressure from my mum inparticular, she regularly asks 'have you met anyone lately?' and gives that sort of disappointing sort of look when I say no. I'm sure she doesn't mean to pressure me, she just wants me to be happy. I generally feel ok being single, me and ds get through life ok, but its moments like that with my mum, or when in a pub and i'm the gooseberry amongst friends with their partners that it gets to me.

when in a pub and i'm the gooseberry amongst friends with their partners that it gets to me.

Yes, I massively relate to this! And when you are leaving alone at the end of the night and everyone else is going home with someone...I sometimes get a bit of a pang of loneliness getting into the car or opening the front door.

It must be hard with your Mum, especially given that you know she just wants you to be happy. My parents are sad for me as they knew that from being little I wanted to be a mummy but now, at 35, it’s looking unlikely (I’ve no interest in going it alone via donor sperm). My Mum still says “I’m praying you meet a lovely man and get your little family” and I just smile and thank her because I haven’t the heart to hurt her feelings by saying I’m genuinely not looking anymore and expect it won’t happen.

I’ve got a busy life and loads of hobbies but only meet married men too! I realised now I missed the boat in my late 20s early 30s but it was a case of luck to. My ex announced when I was 30 that he didn’t want marriage and kids at a time when everyone else in our demographic was getting proposals or getting married. It seemed to have fallen together so easily at the right time for everyone else! If I could go back I’d be more careful after 25 and play things totally differently but you can’t change the past.

My friend is 40 with a child and having some success with dating. She goes out a lot when her ex or her family are looking after her child or when they are at play dates and sleepovers. She’s got a lot of hobbies and interests too and a very bubbly personality so she gets a good amount of interest. There’s definitely hope for single parents if it’s something you want.

Oh don't give up Eleanor. There are guys out there in the same situation, wanting to have children but its not happened for them yet either. I think sometimes the problem I have is I already have a child, and it puts off guys perhaps thinking they have to take on this child. Which is not the case as ds has a good dad already.

Similar situation here. Fortunately I do like casual sex and i used to have a FWB but part of me would like a life partner. I live in a small town though and all the men are either taken or prefer football. My hobbies are all female centric and I have limited mobility so joining a sports group isn't an option. Plus i hate pubs and facebook. Lol