I'll be a mum to 2 at 19 (and DM a grandma to 2 in her 30s) AMA

[qwertyq]

We get a lot of weird comments (some very positive, some judgey), so if it's of any interest, AMA!

No question OP but I used to get a lot of shitty comments (mostly from older women) when I had my 1st and 2nd. They assumed I was a fair bit younger than I was (stopped happening after my 3rd, I've obviously aged 😂) and it's bloody horrible.

Just hold your head high and be the best Mum you can be, sod the rude comments.

Oh, have you had the second yet or are you still pregnant?

@4under4our thank you! I've become a LOT more resilient over the past year especially as opposed to when I first got pregnant with DC1!

@MrsMiggins37 still pregnant!

Next I think it's the way you put it
"So you're against abortion for some reason?"
Why not ask if she had Considered abortion and how she come to the decision not to have one?
My best friend had a baby at 16 and we're in our early 30s now she is a fabulous mum has a beautiful home great job husband holidays etc etc etc

What on earth has your bar of chocolate got to do with having a child WellErr? Are you being serious?

It’s a metaphor. Look it up.

Congratulations OP

How involved is the father or fathers?

WellErr DH brought me home some icecream the other night and even though I like ice cream and it was a kind thought I didn't fancy it just then and put it in the freezer for another day.

If you have a mistake with your contraception and aren't planning to have a child, why would you not have an abortion?

Because it's a choice and some people choose to have a child.

It doesn't matter how many times you say you are not being rude, you are fucking rude.

My third was born a few months after I turned 20 I too used to get a lot of judgy comments and mostly from older people. I used to just ignore them. People with small minds won't change their ways so there's no point in acknowledging them.

Congratulations op and best of luck.

How involved is the father or fathers?

God people are hideous.

@AllFourOfThem both involved. Still with current DP and very happy.

@teenmum18 thank you!

OP congratulations on your pregnancy. I agree there are pros and cons to having kids younger. You have much more energy, enough energy to manage studying working and raising children, which I did. Became a young mum by choice.
I also have dc now im in my 30s and have less energy but then again Im not stressing about buying my first home and studying for a degree.
I think if you're sensible, have a sound plan for the future and a good support network,having kids young is a good thing.

Hi.

No questions but I had 2 children by 18. They are age 15 and 13 now! I was a young mum but I have now been able to go to uni and get married etc and just work around it. I'm glad I had them young as my eldest has ASD and I doubt I would have had the energy before Haha.

So you don't agree with abortion for some reason

What an awful thing to say, would you say this to someone older?

When I lived in the NW, your specific situation was very common, there was little negative judgement and lots of general companionship from other teenage parents. Now I live in a very different area. So are you in a location with lots of other young mums to support you, and appropriate, skilled services?

WellErr DH brought me home some icecream the other night and even though I like ice cream and it was a kind thought I didn't fancy it just then and put it in the freezer for another day.

Such is the wonderful power of choice

Being pro choice means just that Samsung, OP has chosen to continue with her pregnancies, that should be respected. It doesn't mean she is against others making a different choice.

Have you ever had any shitty/patronising comments from health care professionals OP?

@123testing @Skyejuly thank you! It's nice to hear other positive stories of people from similar situations. Some people really like to make you feel like you're just someone to judge because of the unusualness of the situation!!!

My mum had 2 children by 19 (same dad) and became a granny at 48. My advice to you is to get your education and career on track because my mum didn't and she isn't in an enviable position now even though my parents were together for 30 years.

@ThePurpleHeffalump I think there's a lot of stereotyping and looking down on younger mums where I am if I'm honest.
There's some help for the situation but have usually turned it down or tried to turn it down as they're put across so patronisingly.

Lots of questions.
I’d like to know about the practicalities of how you can manage to make this work. Who do you live with? How much money do you live on and where does it come from? Do your parents help you a lot?
What qualifications do you have?
Do you live with the kids Dad? How old is he? Does he work? Did he want you to have an abortion?

Did you lose a lot of friends when you had your 1st baby?

I had ds at 20 and a few friends were "excited" when i was pregnant but drifted swiftly away when i had him!

@MumofTinies not really, to be honest. I've been quite blessed so far, most shitty/patronising comments come from strangers or distant family members who feel they have every right to comment!

The only patronising comment I felt I was repeatedly asked was, 'does your mum help a lot?'. It always really bothered me as I didn't every think someone in their 30s would be constantly asked that but I'm getting over it now.