I live in New York City - Ask Me Anything!

[allfurcoatnoknickers]

I see NYC advice threads popping up on the travel boards a lot - anyone got any questions for a current Manhattan and former Queens resident?

I'm also married to a born and raised New Yorker, and we're imminently about to have a baby, in case anyone's wondering what it's like to be pregnant in the US.

Which of the local sites are overrated?

When is best to visit?

@CrapTVAddict Times Square. Go very early in the morning or late at night, take it in and then leave and avoid, avoid, avoid for the rest of the trip. It's just a giant, stressful tourist trap and there's no good reason to be there.

Best to visit? Depends what you're looking for. I'd say spring or autumn for the best chance of nice weather. If you're a foodie, then come in one of the restaurant weeks: www.nycgo.com/restaurant-week

If you want to come on the cheap, come in February - the weather is horrible, so the flights and hotels are discounted.

@MozzchopsThirty I can never recommend Los Tacos enough.

Do you get called Mama a lot even when you weren't pregnant?
This happened to my dd who is only 19 and I found it surprising- she found it cute!

I thought Americans only got ten days annual holiday and even then often didn't take it?

@Snog It's 10 public holidays. There's no mandatory paid holiday time at all. I get loads - 24 vacation days + 3 personal days. DH gets 15 vacation days. I'd say most of my friends get 15-20 vacation days off per year.

I haven't managed to take off all my days, for a few years, but that's been my own choice, no one's ever stopped me.

I got called mama a few times when not pregnant - didn't mind it from my latina friends, minded it very much from creepy guys on the streets.

We went to somewhere called etc which sounds like a wholefoods type thing it was amazing all the food options I wish we had this sort of thing in the uk.

I'd say most of my friends get 15-20 vacation days off per year.

I get 11 public holidays, 20 vacation days and unlimited sick time. I can use the sick time for medical or dental appointments too with actually being "sick".

We also get to leave early on Fridays in the summer, workload permitting.

I've never been to Los Tacos. I'll add it to the list.

@S0CKS I just googled it and it looks like a Food Hall. Food Halls are great. There's a few dotted around town and they're so much fun to visit.

Whole Foods is a supermarket - a bit like Waitrose but more expensive and everything is organic.

@MissConductUS The 11th public holiday is a major sore spot in my org. Some offices get it and some don't. We used to get it based on performance targets, but not this year. Lots of dark mutterings about that.

@Snog Just to be clear - the 15-20 vacation days is on top of sick days and public holidays.

Allfur or Misconduct: Can you tell me is it easy/straight forward to buy melatonin for children over the counter in the US? My eldest has suspected ASD and has serious trouble getting to sleep each night (he's awake and pacing right now), I can't get melatonin on the NHS until he has a diagnosis... the waiting list is estimated 2 years we are desperate. If its allowed, I want to stock up when I come to the USA in August, do you think theyll let me buy it as a tourist?

Can you tell me is it easy/straight forward to buy melatonin for children over the counter in the US?

You can buy it, no questions asked, in any drugstore (chemist) and most supermarkets will have it as well. You can probably order the gummies right now from the amazon US site and have them shipped to the UK:

smile.amazon.com/s?k=melatonin+gummies&crid=1IWACV8SROMNU&sprefix=melaton%2Caps%2C146&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_4_7

I'm an RN and can't imagine why the NHS restricts it. The body produces it naturally and there's no known toxicological effect:

Toxicology of melatonin.

@JaneyJimplin so easy to buy. Don't even think twice about it. You find it alongside the vitamins in my local chemist.

The drugs you can buy in the US are so much better
I bought loads on my last trip especially doxylamine, acitaminophen PM ((sleepy paracetamol lol) and miconazole which is a fraction of the cost of canestan etc here

Can I ask about the upcoming Military/US services day - when sailors all come to town. It's Monday 27 May.

Are there any parades we can watch and what impact will it have in NY on the day? We didn't know about it when we booked to go but would love to see them.

Another Q, we are going to get unlimited metro passes and I was hoping we could hop on and off regular buses but are they more complicated than just heading down to the subway?

Thanks for this thread.

Have been enjoying this thread very much. Just sticking my oar in to add an irrelevant but timely anecdote....when DH and I were in Boston a few years ago we coincided with Memorial Day weekend and decided to take the ferry to Provincetown.

On the way back we got chatting to a friendly older guy who was very interested in our careers, lives etc...we talked all the way back to Boston and finally asked him what he did, he said 'have you ever heard of melatonin? Well, I discovered it'

I looked him up later. He was indeed the expert who'd first established the link between melatonin and sleep regulation. No wonder he had a house on Beacon Hill!

Thankyou both, that's v helpful. Misconduct - I dont understand why it's such a problem here either, I'm guessing it comes down to cost and which part of the country you live in. I have a friend in liverpool who's son got a prescription before his diagnosis, but where I am it's a categorical no without prescription and a battle with!

@LizzieMacQueen

There will be lots going on for fleet week. Here's the best summary I could find:

gothamist.com/2019/03/27/2019_fleet_week_nyc.php#photo-1

The Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum is a great place to visit, and is also where many of the Fleet week events will be centered:

www.intrepidmuseum.org/fleetweek

Walking through the air craft carrier and the 1950's era submarine is really an experience so the Intrepid is worth a visit at any time.

The metrocard is usable on buses (except for a small number of long distance express buses) but the subways are usually faster.

web.mta.info/nyct/bus/howto_bus.htm

Try to avoid the subway during peak rush hours.

@LizzieMacQueen YES Fleet Week! So much fun. Memorial Day is the 27th, but Fleet Week is a whole week. I never get to do anything for it though, because it's busy season at work!

@MissConductUS has it pretty much sewn up, but just want to add that there's also a good summary here: www.nycgo.com/events/fleet-week and if you want a "parade" check out the Parade of Ships on the 22nd. You should be able to see it from anywhere down the Hudson River. I hear the best Manhattan views are from Battery Park.

Subways might be marginally busier, and you'll see some lost sailors, but otherwise I wouldn't worry.

@L1minal That's such a great story! I bet he was a fascinating man.

@JaneyJimplin melatonin is even safe to take when you're pregnant! I was taking a low dose to help with my insomnia in the first and second trimester. I don't know why the NHS is so weird about it. You can even buy the stuff in Sephora!

@MozzchopsThirty When DH lived in England, he was always grousing about how you couldn't get any of the good stuff in Boots. There's a great scene in the film "2 Days in Paris" where the neurotic American boyfriend is having a meltdown because he can't get decent painkillers from the chemist. It's accurate.

Thanks for your answers to my questions up thread, very informative :)

I have another - are there any mum and baby groups? Do you plan to go along to any when your baby is born? Also, in your experience, are there many stay at home parents in the city or do most work?

Thanks!

@Ribrabrob There are mother and baby classes - stuff like baby signing and baby yoga. There aren't really things like the NCT though. We don't have long maternity leaves, so I feel like they're less of a thing. I'm excited to go to Drag Queen story time! But I'm undecided about the other things, I'm generally awful at organized fun or group activity, but I'll give it a try.

I don't know a single stay at home parent, or for that matter anyone who works part time. You need to be very, very rich to be a SAHP in Manhattan, or the bougie parts of Brooklyn, Queens and the Bronx. I know it's more common out in the wealthy suburbs like Westchester and Long Island though.

The only SAHM I know is one of my friends back in England!

Interesting. Would you say that NY is different in that respect to the rest of America? I think I read somewhere that in most American families, one parent will usually stay at home because childcare is so expensive.

As you can tell other cultures/countries, particularly New York, fascinates me

Oh and thanks by the way :)

@Ribrabrob I have no clue about the rest of America, and it's so massive and diverse, I don't think you can generalize. I only know people in other big, expensive cities like D.C. and San Francisco, so I'm not even much help on the anecdotal front. I did a quick google though and it looks like 1/5 American families have a stay at home parent, which is a lot!

What I can tell you is that childcare is A LOT cheaper in other areas. DH has colleagues in Omaha, Nebraska, and one of them was telling him that three kids in full time daycare costs her about $875 per month. Our nearest daycare costs $3,700 for one child, the cheapest one near is is $2,500 for one child. As a fun point of comparison, our doggy daycare costs $850 for unlimited access for one dog!

I was a SAHM for several years with my two, but I don't live in Manhattan. I'm in the northern suburbs where the cost of living is considerably less and am lucky in that DH is a fairly high earner. SAHM's are not uncommon in my area, but it takes some doing.