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I'm a single dad ask me anything

23 replies

Dmn4 · 18/04/2019 15:19

I've been a single to three girls for the past year since their mum decided to leave

OP posts:
GunpowderGelatine · 18/04/2019 16:05

Why did she leave (if that's not too personal)? How do you juggle work and being a single parent? Have you met anyone since your wife left?

Mummyto2munchkins · 18/04/2019 16:06

Just like to say torre an inspiration! Not many dad's who have their kids out there :)

nrpmum · 18/04/2019 16:08

Do you judge your ex for leaving the children with you, and how is your exes relationship with them now?

NaturatintGoldenChestnut · 18/04/2019 16:09

Just like to say torre an inspiration! Not many dad's who have their kids out there smile

Wow. Words fail. He's a single parent, just like millions of others, but it's 'inspiring' when the person has a penis?

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/04/2019 16:09

How do you deal with the fact (as evidenced above) that you get all the cookies for doing something millions of women do and get pilloried for?

Mummyto2munchkins · 18/04/2019 16:48

Naturatint - I find all single parents inspiring... Not anything to do with the male anatomy.
Merely stating not many dad's have sole custody.
Kudos to him.

GunpowderGelatine · 18/04/2019 16:50

Yet you specifically mentioned how he is one of the "not many" dads.

To clarify - no one gets cookies for not being a shit parent. Well, except men apparently

Mummyto2munchkins · 18/04/2019 16:53

Around 10% of single parent households are male. (according to a recent study) so not many...
Didnt mention cookies. Merely trying to make the man smile...

Susanna30 · 18/04/2019 17:24

How often do the kids see their mother (- if ever) ?

Lulumush · 18/04/2019 17:41

Fancy a date?!

Dmn4 · 18/04/2019 17:45

Why did she leave (if that's not too personal)? How do you juggle work and being a single parent? Have you met anyone since your wife left?
She'd had depression for a long time before she left, she explained it as just not feeling happy with her life anymore and that she felt like she was making the right decision. I have some family members who help out with child care after school and during the holidays if I'm working. I haven't met anyone
Do you judge your ex for leaving the children with you, and how is your exes relationship with them now?
I have to say I do judge her a bit, she only sees them maybe once a month, I judge her for not making as much effort as she could
How do you deal with the fact (as evidenced above) that you get all the cookies for doing something millions of women do and get pilloried for?
My mum was a single parent and I see how differently I'm treated compared to how she was. I definitely don't think it's fair, I think single parents should simply be treated the same

OP posts:
Veterinari · 18/04/2019 17:48

Around 10% of single parent households are male. (according to a recent study) so not many.

That’s because the majority of men simply don’t bother with parenting after separation. Doesn’t mean the 10% who manage to demonstrate basic parenting competency are ‘inspirational’ or require ‘kudos’, and I doubt very much you'd Have used those terms of the OP wasn’t male.

bakingcupcakes · 18/04/2019 17:55

When they are old enough (if they aren't already) how will you handle periods/growing up stuff? I ask as I'm a single mother of a young DS and I worry about my lack of understanding of teenage boys.

nrpmum · 18/04/2019 17:58

My mum was a single parent and I see how differently I'm treated compared to how she was. I definitely don't think it's fair, I think single parents should simply be treated the same

Completely agree

OrangeJuiceandArmchairs · 18/04/2019 18:00

When/if you date again are you worried about the logistics of her having children? Assuming she's RP would this bother you?

Mummyto2munchkins · 18/04/2019 18:11

My friends a single mum and I tell her the same.. Regardless of sex..

Anyway OP, have a nice evening :)

RuffleCrow · 18/04/2019 18:20

How are your girls getting on at school? (Just a general question - obviously you don't have to put any great detail here).

I also have three and feel like school is one long round of boxes to tick and hoops to jump through or I'm 'failing' my dcs - and I'm expected to attend all the stuff that most families split between two. Not that I mind, but I'm also expected to work and have a passable home and I just don't feel there are enough hours in the day quite frankly. [Rant over] Grin

Dmn4 · 18/04/2019 20:04

When they are old enough (if they aren't already) how will you handle periods/growing up stuff?
My oldest recently started hers, she felt quite embarrased about it so she told my sister instead who helped her out. I told her there was no need to feel embarrased but at least she had someone she felt comfortable going to
How are your girls getting on at school?
They're getting on well, middle child does struggle with her behaviour sometimes at school. I know what you mean though, I've had to miss a few school things for work and I feel terrible for it every time

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 18/04/2019 20:09

I was raised by my Dad, eldest might be embarrassed but by the time it's get to the last, there will be significantly less bothers given. Dad used to take us to buy bras, would pick up sanitary towels etc so as the youngest it never really occurred to me it might be odd.

Do you think your girls face a bigger stigma for their Mum leaving than if you had?

bakingcupcakes · 18/04/2019 21:11

sleeping I'm glad it never occurred to you it might be odd. It didn't occur to me it would be until someone else (who's married) asked what I would do/say when the time comes.

dmn4 It's good your girls are comfortable going to each other.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 26/04/2019 21:24

My DH used to get lots of funny looks when he took his DD to the park. He said it was a bit depressing that people seemed to think a lone man with a little girl was perhaps a bit iffy.

Have you ever experienced anything like that?

Aimily · 26/04/2019 21:29

What's your favourite part about being a father to all girls?

Dmn4 · 05/05/2019 10:11

Do you think your girls face a bigger stigma for their Mum leaving than if you had
Their friends and classmates seem to question it a lot more, they get asked why they don't live with their mum and they did she leave. I don't think that would happen as much if it were me they didn't live with as a lot of their friends have separated parents only most of them live with their mums.
My DH used to get lots of funny looks when he took his DD to the park. He said it was a bit depressing that people seemed to think a lone man with a little girl was perhaps a bit iffy. Have you ever experienced anything like that
A few times yes, I've had some funny looks when I take them clothes shopping
What's your favourite part about being a father to all girls
I don't think I have a favourite part, I don't think having a son would change things massively. They're each very different from each other anyway

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