I married the son of a multi millionaire - AMA

[DingoBlitz]

Just that really. I though people might be interested because of a FB post I saw recently. I didn't comment on the FB post because it's my real name but here I can be nice and anonymous!

I grew up in a normal middle class family and then met and married my husband who, it turns out, has a really rich family.

Ooh it's got a lot more interesting now you said you have staff etc. Do you get some kind of allowance from the parents or are these things just organised and billed through them?

FIL pays for our living expenses directly, staff wages, utility bills, etc and we live in a house that he bought. We don't get an allowance but he'll give DH money randomly if we're spending more money than usual like a big holiday, car or medical bills.

We both earn a good salary so we can afford most of the things we want without extra money (neither of us have expensive tastes).

If the house you live in is paid for by his family are you quite vulnerable if you split from dh as your assets are presumably family owned rather than shared before two of you?

Yes, if we split I'd have no claim to his family assets. I'm working though and have been financially advantaged in the marriage because I've been able to save more than I would have otherwise. If I gave up work I'd ask for more assurances (I don't think I'll give up work though - we've discussed it before because I hate my job at the moment but at the end of the day I couldn't do it because I value my independence too much).

Well as long as you are protected and not vulnerable that's great.
Thanks for answering, I'm not asking anything else as it is so terribly nosey, I would never dream of being this rude in real life

Did it take you long to adjust to living off your fil?

Haha being nosy is the point of an AMA! I ask really nosy questions!

Living off my FIL was an easy adjustment because he'd be providing this stuff to my DH anyway so I didn't feel I was taking anything from him if that makes sense. I do feel awkward if he helps me out personally though.

I know but it just seems so bad when it's about somebody's money iykwim.

What sort of work do you do?

Aaah I love these! What sort of food do you have cooked for you? Do you "consult on menus" with the housekeeper and throw dinner parties and do to "placement"? i read a lot of Jilly Cooper
Do you dine out a lot? Do you have champagne whenever you want??

I'm an accountant.

We just eat normal food but always have salad and side dishes plus a dessert. We collaboratively come up with the menu for the week so I guess we do consult on it! We don't throw dinner parties that often and when we do they're casual.

We eat out a couple of times a week on average. I prefer prosecco to champagne. I could drink it everyday but that would be a bit weird plus I'm on a health kick right now and trying to only drink when we're out with friends.

Do you worry about how faithful your husband is? That level of money is attractive to other people and possibly it would be very easy to have discreet flings.

Also how is he as a parent? Do you teach your children the value of money like do they do chores to earn pocket money or do they simply get what they want?

I don't worry about DH being unfaithful. I'm not naieve enough to think it could never happen but he's a good guy and I trust him. He doesn't share around the fact that he's wealthy so most people wouldn't know.

We don't have kids yet. I'm not sure what we'll do with pocket money etc in the future, we haven't really discussed that aspect.

Having said that I don't think I'd give my kids money for doing chores. As a child I used to have to clean the whole house to get £5 pocket money. It sucked because no-one else did any cleaning except me and my sister so it felt quite unfair.

I'd prefer for my kids to just be part of family life and help out with whatever chores need doing without any money riding on it.

How much are you saving for your future? Are you squirrelling any away just in case?

Sorry but i don't believe you have the connections to pass a note to the Queen. What rubbish.

Are your friends in similar circumstances?

oh to never have to change bedding again.... sighs wistfully

But wouldn't we all be millionaires in India? Its the norm in many countries to have staff, women often have drivers especially in the middle East where they aren't allowed to drive. This seems standard lifestyle for those countries?

why does the DH being Asian mean they live in India...? There are tons of countries in Asia.

Have you read or seen Crazy Rich Asians? Was there anything you could relate to there?

I'm saving a fair amount. We have separate bank accounts.

Believe it or not, I know someone who knows someone who knows the royal family. Its not like I'd ever be at the same event as them but the connection is there. And yes, many brits would be rupee millionaires. You might be a billionaire if you moved to Zimbabwe!

Friends that I've made through DH are generally in similar circumstances but most of my close friends aren't.

Haha not Meghan, I wish she'd do an AMA though! Now that would be unusual...

I've read crazy rich asians and relate to some of it. Mostly just DH's grandma disliking me (although I think it was the MIL in the film). When we got married she gave me a family ring which was nice. DH's family aren't as insanely rich as the people in the film are supposed to be, though we know some who are.

Do you feel sad that your parents/siblings watch you going on luxury holidays and driving nice cars, whilst they live a relatively modest lives ? Or, for example, they can't afford to join you on special celebrations?

Has he got a brother ??

How do you feel about the financial inequalities in the world? Do you ever ponder how rich you are on a global scale?