I'm 30 years sober today. Ask me anything.

[Prawnofthepatriarchy]

Just that, really. I have DS aged 23 and 26 who were born after I stopped drinking. It's been amazing. Everything good in my life stems from my sobriety.

We are almost the same age. It's good that you live with your sons. It is harder when there's no one about, and they can support you if you feel ill.

The self isolation is very common. Planning out and hiding the drinking kind of takes over our lives. Now that you are turning your focus elsewhere you need other things to do. I strongly suggest you find the closest AA meeting and screw up your courage to go. You can just sit in the back and listen if you like, but I would encourage you to share a bit about where you are. The people will just be normal people. My first AA group seemed to have a lot of lawyers for some reason, but there will be teachers, SAHM's, etc. Just normal folk. They have all been through what you are going through.

Ring your GP on Monday and see when you can get in. It's not urgent but it's important. I'm an RN. Medical people don't personalize it. It's a disease and not at all shameful. They will respect you for seeking help and being honest about it. So many die because they did not ask for help.

Certainly the last 3 it's increased and the last year where if I go out, I can't wait to get home to have a drink - oh God - I've said it

That's perfectly normal. It's a progressive disease that gets worse over time. See the article I linked to up thread on the molecular basis of alcoholism. Your brain adapted to alcohol and isn't quite right without it. That's why you crave it.

Please let me know if there's anything else I can discuss with you.

That's very kind of you to offer and I shall take you up on it.

I was given a number by a doctor a few months ago to contact. I went to see him about my back and ended up crying about my drinking. It's an NHS run organisation that helps with alcohol and drug abuse. I'll ring tomorrow and ask for an appointment. It's a 1:1 first and then they assess what they can offer. Does that sound good?

Yes, that sounds perfect. Do not underestimate the importance of peer support though. Joining a group and making connections with those who share your goal is a very powerful incentive. It makes you feel that you are part of a team and that there are others who can give you a hand when you need it.

As I said up thread, you can live a perfectly happy, full life without drinking. Others who have already done it will give you proof that it's true and help show you the way.

But the NHS run organization sounds brilliant and a great way to start,

How's your Sunday going so far? Any plans? I've just done a 4 mile walk and will probably go to church a bit later.

That was a positive reply. Thank you. The only thing that puts me off the AA meeting is that it's 8 pm at night. I could go to one further away at lunchtime though. That would be better for me. I might not know anyone either!

I have to say I'm having a really pleasant weekend. I did go shopping yesterday and I took the dog out for a walk at about 5 ish which usually is unheard of for me. It's strange isn't it how life is sometimes? The last day or so, two really positive things have happened to me, well three if I count your kind words that wouldn't have had I just sat around drinking.

I just need to stop thinking that I won't be able to enjoy anything without a drink in my hand. I was so patient with my son yesterday. Like a different person.

No plans as yet apart from walk with the dog and a few neglected jobs. I don't feel I want to go out for lunch or anything yet. That might be a step to far at the moment!

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I could go to one further away at lunchtime though. That would be better for me. I might not know anyone either!

It's pretty rare to meet someone in AA who you know in "real life". It's only happened to me once. It doesn't really matter much because of the anonymous aspect of it. They won't tell anyone they've seen you there and will likely not even acknowledge you until you approach them.

I just need to stop thinking that I won't be able to enjoy anything without a drink in my hand. I was so patient with my son yesterday. Like a different person.

I know, it's a bit crushing to picture life without alcohol. One of the best parts of AA is meeting all of those lovely people who do exactly that and are perfectly happy about it. You will feel better and look better without it and save quite a bit of money too. You being more patient with your son is just a sign of the real you returning.

What were the two really positive things that happened?

Congratulations Prawn !

I've just seen that there is a meeting tonight for newcomers. Not in my town but not that far. I didn't know they had that type of meeting.

A friend that I haven't seen for a while has txt me to ask me if I'd like to meet up. We usually have a meal out (me being half cut before we've even started eating) or she suggested a walk and a coffee. Normally I would not have been interested in the coffee bit but it's just what I need. Am doing that tomorrow. She would go out for the meal but I'm choosing the walk.

Second is that just as I need a distraction, my lovely mum has offered to have my living room painted, new sofa, new carpet etc. I have been finding it really overwhelming and not knowing where to start - it's very scruffy. Through a drunken haze it looked ok but it's not.

I really do appreciate you replying to me. I understand what you mean about having support. I hope I don't go on too much

I''ve just seen that there is a meeting tonight for newcomers. Not in my town but not that far. I didn't know they had that type of meeting.

Most groups also have a women's only meeting and an open meeting, where non-sobriety seekers (like friends and family) can attend.

That's lovely about your friend getting in touch and your mum's offer to help having your living room redone. Good things are happening!

I am very happy to reply to you. I owe a debt to those who reached out and helped me when I was first trying to stop drinking. I think of it like lowering a ladder into a well I'd fallen into so that I could climb out. I can't pay that debt back directly, so I pay it forward by dropping the ladder down the pit for those who need help today, knowing that they will pay it forward in time too.

And you certainly haven't gone on to much. You're coping with a lot a the moment. If you're on your mobile, I've PM'd you, and I think you have to be on the website to see it.

That's very generous of you considering it's been 25 years for you. There is a women's meeting next weekend. That appeals to me. Maybe that's another issue I have with men. Something else to think about!

That's very generous of you considering it's been 25 years for you.

I could easily be dead now without their help. I certainly wouldn't have a good career and lovely family now if I hadn't stopped when I did. I don't think I'll ever consider the debt fully paid.

Women's meetings are brilliant. They tend to be more intimate and you can talk about the men in the group anything you like.

Don't wait for the women's meeting though, go to the newcomers meeting.

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