Have you had to deal with death yet?

Yes - several times as a carer in my previous job, and a couple of times during training. I have lost several relatives during my life including both parents, so did have some experience of seeing people who had passed. I found it easier to deal with than I thought I would, especially in the cases where the patients were elderly and the death expected. In fact, I have found palliative care the most rewarding of all I have done so far. The more traumatic death of a younger patient at the end of my first year of training was not as easy, although already I have developed the capacity to be able to 'switch off' to a large extent - it's essential in order to deal with the practical side, as well as any relatives- I realise it's not about me, I need to be there in order to help them so have to stay composed no matter what. That said, I lost my DM very suddenly and in quite a traumatic way 6 months into my training, and I do worry now that a death at work may be more upsetting and triggering than previously, but so far I have coped OK. In fact, studying has been hugely helpful to me since I lost her - it's a distraction as well as a comfort to know that even though I couldn't help and be there for her, I can help others.

What branch are you studying and how have the qualified staff treated you during placements? Have the university and placements been supportive of your family and home situation? Who looks after your children if you’ve had night shifts?

I'm studying adult branch. It's been a real variety with the qualified staff depending on the placement - one mentor was hugely disinterested and very unsupportive, another two have been fantastic so it really varies. I think being a bit older and having previous life and work experience has helped me on placements - I'm happy to muck in and just get on with things and genuinely eager to learn, so I tend to get along well with the staff. I've had some experience of the odd staff member who likes to act superior and almost 'put me in my place' but luckily most people I've worked with have been great and taught me so much.

My DM used to help me with my DC's at the start of the course with night/ late shifts and so on. Now though, I'm lucky as my DC's are now a bit older (15, 13,11) and my eldest DD(20) will usually be here at night if I'm working, and DS2 (25) lives quite near so he has stayed occasionally when DD has been out or away. I've also used after school and breakfast clubs and have a couple of great friends who will drop the kids somewhere if need be. Both Uni and placement have been fairly supportive of my circumstances luckily, although I have always tried not to ask for any time off/ change of shift unless I've really needed it.

How on earth do you manage it as a lone parent with 6 kids?

Well, it's much easier now as 3 DC's are adult (eldest 2 DS's are 27 and 25 and have left home), and the youngest three are now 15, 13 and 11. Also, my DD (20) is an absolute angel, always happy to do the dinner if I'm not in and in many ways she's like a second Mum to her siblings and we work as a team. Some may see that as exploitative, but she is a real home body and genuinely happy to help out when needed. She's also a student (teaching) but seems to have more time off and longer holidays on her course than me. I'm incredibly lucky to have her, I know, and although I realise one day she will no doubt fly the nest, I don't think we will ever move too far from one another, we're really close.

You clearly are superwoman - ha, thank you, but no, not at all. I'm pretty organised, but in quite a haphazard way at times! I'm one of those people who gets bored quite easily and is always one the go, so that helps. That said, I did get quite ill early last year and that was a challenge but luckily, my 2 eldest DC's came back for a bit and took over for a while. I'm also very determined - I had actually just finished an a-level pre-nursing course and was waiting to start training at 17 when I became pregnant with DC1, so I've waited nearly 30 years to do this!

Why did you chose such a physically demanding profession at 45?

Yes - I do sometimes wonder that! Nursing is something I have wanted to do since my early teens so tbh, I never really thought of the physical side of it. I'm quite an active person though, and like to be on the go. I did work in offices for quite a few years, and really disliked all the sitting down and the general monotony of it. So far as well, I have found nursing far less physically demanding than being a carer or an HCA, though I realise that will not always be the case.

Did you do an access course, how intense is the training?

I already had the GCSE's I needed from school, as well as 2 A-levels. I started an access course at a local college a few years ago, and worked as a carer on the days off/ evenings, but found this too time consuming and didn't like the way some of teachers seemed to treat you like teenagers instead of fellow adults. Instead, I found an online access course that allowed you to study at your own pace and around work/ commitments. It wasn't free, but much cheaper than the college course and affordable when paid for by direct debit. If you want details, I can Pm them to you. I then applied once, but was turned down as had rushed my personal statement. I applied again the next year, and was accepted for all 3 places I'd applied for . It subsequently turned out that I hadn't needed the access course as the 2 years degree study (Psychology) I had done in my early 20's would have counted as enough points for admission. I don't regret doing the course though as it was massively helpful as both good preparation for returning to study, and it was brilliant for my self discipline too.

The degree is very intense, yes. The level and hours of study are really designed to push you to the limit, but I think it is doable as long as you are hugely determined, know exactly what you are getting into and have a good support network around you. The ones who have dropped out seem to be those who weren't that interested in nursing in the first place, and the ones who didn't have much work experience in health care and didn't realise just how full on and hard work it actually is, and how thankless it can be. You need to be very dedicated and give it full focus to get through it I think.