I'm a nursery manager AMA

[Dlah]

I'm a full time nursery manager and mother AMA

@zzzzz yes I know not linked to poverty I just meant in my experience, parents from a certain background have been quicker to ask if we thought their child may have additional needs such as ASD as odd as that sounds, but was more common in a nursery with a high level of 2 year funding, so stood out more.

The downs case was just an example of some of the other odd stuff parents say/do when the child had been assessed by numerous individuals as not requiring a plan, as they were so able unlike other children in that situation, parents were just trying to play the system playing down her ability

My little boy is 10 months old next week. Me and OH are quite lucky as we can work our jobs around each other, I work part time and he works full time. He currently goes with his Nana once a week , we have been toying with the idea of putting DS into nursery once a week instead just to get him used to it, reading your "not routine enough" comments make a lot of sense to me and now I'm wondering wether that would be the right move.

He's going through a very clingy stage at the moment , would nursery be a silly idea in your opinion? Once a week , he doesn't have to go to nursery his Nana is happy to have him and he loves it I just wondered wether this would be good for him.

@firsttimebabybirther there's no right or wrong, I have some children who come for 1 day and are happy as Larry, others as mentioned do struggle.

Maybe try one day and see how LO goes, I'd say if still unsettled 6-8 weeks in see if could split to two half days a week more split, especially if not a necessity for childcare, so say a Tuesday and Friday morning so equal gaps/more frequent sessions in their mind

How much time do you have to spend of the nursery floor doing paper work? I did a placement in a nursery and this happened a lot.

Hi Dlah, I have been a foster carer for children 0-3, a TA in primary schools for 12 years, and a TA in a primary PRU for almost 3 years. I have worked with foundation stage children, in reception classes and also in a nurture unit. I do some direct payment work with a child with additional needs and I volunteer annually on a residential week with children with additional needs too.

Would you employ me?

I would really like to work in a nursery, but I don’t have a specific nursery qualification.

I mean hypothetically, with the experience I have!

Thank you so much @Dlah for such a quick and helpful reply. I really hope my son's nursery is staffed by people who care as much as you very clearly do!

@Drogosnextwife I am very lucky that I'm supernumerary, so I'm only needed if someone is sick/on holiday, otherwise I can divide my time as I see fit between office/rooms

@Shockers the industry right now is crying out for motivated, hard working individuals who want to work with children. Ok you might not have a qualification but you have experience and if you're willing then yes I personally would interview/consider. It's then down to the nursery if they would hire you on an unqualified assistant basis or as an apprentice to qualify

Thanks Dlah!

I'm placemarking. My 14mo had 2 settling in sessions last week and a half day on Friday. His first full day tomorrow. I'm nervous! I'll come back with questions tomorrow.

@Moo31 how did your DS’s first day go?

My 2.5 yo is about to start a couple.of nursery sessions a week. She's not yet potty trained despite giving it a go a couple of times, my elder DD was out of nappies by now. I know that she's still young but can't help feeling the nursery will wish they weren't having to change her dirty nappies! She will be one of the youngest, so I expect most of the other children will be toilet trained. I know I'm being irrational, but any reassurance would be welcome.

@Procrastinatingpeacock - it's part of our job! From our perspective, we'd much rather a child wait until they are ready as it's usually much smoother. On the flip side sadly we get some parents who literally turn up and say 'we're in pants' and off they go and it's clear they're not ready and we end up with lots of accidents (even with regular prompting) sometimes it's just easier all round to wait and get the clear cue's - we'll then roll with it and support as best we can.

I'd rather have a dirty nappy than a soggy child anyday lol

@Stinkysaurus thank you so much for asking! He got on ok they said but I'm not convinced ... He was hysterical on drop off (which I know is to be expected) and on pick up we watched him for a bit and a little girl tried to steal his dummy and he started crying but it was as though he was very easily set off ie that he was teary and emotional anyway. He did eat and sleep though which they tell me is really positive and he came home with pink glitter paint (i think that's what it is!) on his clothes so I think he had fun!? I hope he did anyway!

My questions for you @Dlah

1. How long can i expect him to be hysterical on drop off? In hindsight we should have started him sooner I think so his separation anxiety wasn't as bad but you live and learn!
2. They have an app that they update re sleep, food, nappies and photos. There were lots of "room moves" recorded on Monday including into the preschool room. DS is 14mo but only just getting into 9-12mth clothes and only starting to walk in the past week or so - so he's small and unsteady. I was scared that the older kids might be boisterous and knock him over etc. We asked on pick up and they said he was the only baby (under 18mths) in on Monday so they took him round the other rooms so he had playmates. I can't work out whether I'm comfortable with this or not! Is it normal? Should I just accept it?
3. All 3 days last week they said he went down for a nap no problem - he does not do this at home and it is such an ordeal getting him down for a nap. Is there some magic method that all you insiders know that us parents are never allowed to know!? Also he naps on a cot mattress on the floor - if that was at home he would be crawling all over the place if I was trying to get him to sleep! How do they do this?!
4. His nappies at the minute absolutely stink - I am worried they might be talking about him i.e. I don't want to do it, you do it, etc. Am I being crazy!?
5. When they record that he has eaten all his lunch - has he actually eaten it all? / what are the portion sizes like?
6. Is 1 adult to 3 kids actually enough? At baby groups when a mum friend goes to the loo and I'm watching her child and my child I really struggle so I can't imagine adding another one to the mix and extending the time from 2 mins to 10 hrs!!
7. He will do 2 days and we have planned for Mon and Fri - I originally wanted to do the 2 days together but it suits my mum and mil better to do tue/wed/thurs so Mon and Fri it is. Do you think 2 days together would be better?
8. DS currently only gets a dummy for nap/sleep time at home and associates dummy with sleep. I told them at the nursery that if he was unsettled they could give it to him as a comfort as I knew it would stop him crying. From the pics on the app he appears to have it more often than not. We mentioned it on Mon at drop off that they should try and limit it (I also want them to get to know him and he babbles away at home which he can't do if he has his dummy in all day) but it seems like he had it in most of Monday. Am I expecting too much too soon and I should just let it go for a few weeks until he is settled or should I mention it again?

Thank you!!

Hi @Moo31

Sorry busy day!

Glad you got your first few days done, in answer

1. hysterical crying - does happen, I can't deny but is usually short lived or at least in smaller stints/soothed quicker after a couple of weeks. I'm confident to say this will soon get easier, in my career I've only ever had 2 child who just would not settle, not after a day, a week, a month, a year! Staff tried everything, but both of these funnily enough only attended for 1 day a week, but they just never calmed sadly. Very rare cases like this, regardless of what we try to ease desperation anxiety

2. I've never heard of an app which tells you room changes Tbf, but I think it's a good thing they're being honest with you that it's happening, I would keep an eye on it, mixing is a positive at times, good role models and as they say - socialising if no other babies in, but I'd be inclined to see that your child is getting some 1-2-1 rather than always joined - maybe ask them why he was only one - someone sick/off etc, or is that likely to be the case ongoing? In which case make a point of him having some quality time rather than constantly joining the other room

3. sleep!! Ah this made me smile, I can hand on heart say sometimes I really think there is something magical, because my own daughter does it - if I try and put her down for a sleep in the day she's not having any of it . . 3 days a week she's asleep within 10 minutes just from having her back rubbed or forehead stroked, which I've witnessed laying perfectly calmly for . . Try it at home - no thank you mummy!! so I really wouldn't be too surprised, it's amazing how some children differ from home to setting

4. meals - we always give children roughly a small palms worth of food, with the option of seconds after, a lot of children feel daunted with a full plate and it can put them off. We mark it as some, half, most or all in our communication books so fairly easy way to see what's been eaten

5. ratios - I get what you mean, whilst it's always good to be over staff for more hands, nurseries are designed for babies and children, they're planned and risk assessed to accommodate them and keep them out of harms way, so it's sometimes easier than in a normal household with everyday items and risks. Per the statutory framework, at least 50% of staff should be qualified at any time, so it's usually guaranteed that you'll have an experienced person managing 3 children, Id also hope, like my own staff, they know when to ask for help if it's getting too much and myself or other staff happy assist

6. split days I personally think is better - regular intervals in and out of nursery works well for a lot of children

7. dummy - I would say let him get settled, if that's his connection to home and comfort then let him have it. If, once chilled out a bit you think it's still regular, I'd make a point of it again by all means and they should respect your wishes

I really hope it goes smoothly for you x

@Dlah Would you employ a qualified primary teacher (hypothetically)? Teaching for 6 years, range of ages including reception/foundation stage. Looking for a change and now having two children of my own, have developed a passion for early years!

If a child in your nursery got a nasty bite on their torso that left teeth marks would you call the parents to tell them?

@Naschkatze probably! Sadly, it's usually never enough money to tempt a teacher, I've never known any accept the drop in wage unfortunately

@Timefortea4 100%, anything like that I always phone ahead, particularly if there's an obvious mark, takes the 'shock' away than seeing it later when bruising may have come out/look worse. I phone more from the perspective that it's bite/other child inflicted, beyond the daily norm of bumped heads and grazed knees

@Dlah I'm willing to accept a pay drop at the moment for an improved work life balance. Unless it's a case of grass being greener - do your staff take work home?

@Naschkatze no, not personally in my nursery, I know some do however but I'm not a fan. When it comes to home time I want people to walk out and leave work mentally and physically at home.

However, pay wise, you'd still be looking at minimum wage £8.21-£10 max and that's if someone's got the budget to give you the increase, so many nurseries are struggling due to funding issues/lack of government funding, it's not a great time, however on plus side a lot of nurseries are crying out for staff, so some may be willing to pay more before they're in need

At work!* not home!