A year ago I was on drugs, now I'm a new mum

[luckynot]

Ask away

What do you think youll do if you get the urge to go out and get hammered again?
Do you really think its all in the past or do you think you might always have to watch yourself

I think you’re magnificent. Well done!

Branleuse I do still get the urge but I don't think that I'll do it again. I really believe that. I have DS to focus on now and I'm terrified of being back in that place. I went out for the first time since having him to a Christmas ball last weekend and was offered cocaine more than once and I refused. In all honesty, I miss it. But I'm past that now.

Thank you Atalune xx

No Q but a MASSIVE congratulations!!

Thank you LadyG!! X

@luckynot
All I can say is I hope I can look back this time next year and be where you are.

Congratulations! X

Purple I've just realised that I didn't answer your question about heroin. I've never really been around heroin, I've seen someone do it once. I always said that I drew the line at crack and heroin. If I was still doing drugs now maybe I would have ended up doing it.

@thelaststraw123 I'm sure that you will be! Are you ok? Are you struggling? X

My partner has been battling a 13 year addition to codeine after becoming hooked following knee surgery. He's trying hard to get off it but relapses sometimes, and the hardest part is that he lies to me about it.
How does it make you feel? What's the draw? I don't understand, as I've previously taken strong codeine for years for back pain and never became addicted. It didn't really seem to affect me except take the edge off the pain.

Oh, and congratulations to you on getting clean and the new arrival.

fartwhen I'm really sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you. I've had many friends who say the same as you, that it does nothing for them and they don't understand it. For me, it made me feel very relaxed and peaceful and a nice sensation would take over my whole body. It's a drug that "chills you out" and the more you take, the more euphoric you become. It kind of dulls and withdraws you which is what I think I used to like about it. It's a really pleasant feeling and although I've never been addicted to codeine, I can see how people very easily could become addicted. Sometimes you are doing it and don't even know why you're doing it.

Thank you!

Thank you for replying, any light you can shed on the matter is really appreciated.

He says that he feels like codeine's his 'happy place'. He was prescribed dihydrocodeine after shearing his kneecap off in a sporting accident and, as I say, after the surgery he quickly got addicted. Then his marriage started to breakdown with her infidelity, which hit him hard, and he turned more and more to the tablets to feel better.

We've been together a couple of years now, and I can tell when he's on the codeine. The sweating, the tiny pupils, behaving distant... it's all a dead giveaway. I think he's mostly off the now, but every now and then I'll find a receipt for over the counter cocodamol, solpadein or anything carrying codeine that he can get his hands on. He always starts by denying it, which is by far the worst part for me. I've thrown him out three times over it, including him stealing tablets from me and then gaslighting me, saying I took them.

Otherwise he's a great man. But his addiction turns him on to a total bellend. I just need him to stop.

Sorry, I'm making it about me. I guess what I'm trying to ask you is how do I support him more to stop. And how can I prevent him getting the drug?

fartwhen I can very much understand how it's his "happy place". Is he seeking any help? Does he want to stop? My ex partner is addicted to cannabis, so much so that he's now not allowed unsupervised contact with our son, I know what it's like to love someone but hate who they are when they're high.

Denial is one of the biggest signs of addiction. Does he believe himself to be addicted? Just know that the person he is when he's on drugs isn't him, addiction is an illness and at this point he can't help himself. But then again, it's not your duty or responsibility to put up with it and doesn't make it any less toxic. Addicts though unwell are usually very toxic. How are you coping?

I've just realised that I asked quite a few questions, I'm sorry

fartwhen don't apologise, I'm happy to listen. Like I asked before, does he actually want to stop? To be honest there's not much you can do except be there for him and try to encourage him to make better choices - does he have a hobby? Is there something that you could start together? When I was on drugs there's nothing that anybody could've done, so many people tried to help me and I didn't want to hear it. I was in denial for a long time too.

There's nothing you can do to stop him getting it, if an addicts wants drugs then they're going to get it.

It's shit to hear but there's not much that you can do unless he wants help.

I have no questions but well done!
That's one hell of an addiction to curb (especially with the painkillers) - I hope you're doing well and have enjoyed your first Christmas as a mum.
Onwards and upwards

Thank you so much WhoTook x

He claims to really want to stop. He's told me on many occasions to watch him closely when things are stressful or going badly for him. He also said that he's asked his gp to remove codeine from his repeat prescription, but I can never fully believe anything he says regarding the addiction.
He's a professional, very together, high functioning person. A wonderful father to his daughter and great with my children. He's also a very loving, devoted boyfriend to me. I couldn't ever describe him as toxic, but when on the drugs he's pretty erratic. It turns him in to a twat and I hate it.
He's started counselling a couple of months ago and I know he's trying... but the lying sucks.
If he lies again, would you end it permanently? Or do I keep trying to be understanding and help him?

I think youre going to have to watch yourself big time.
Youre a very new parent. Youve just gone out and repeatedly been offered coke? That just doesnt happen to most people. It sounds deeply entrenched in your social circle, and you are massively at risk of getting drawn back in, especially once your child gets a bit older, and considering that your useage seems to be much more than just recreational or occasional, you are going to have to be really strong and change your social life drastically.

Op I'm the same. I was going out three times a week doing 2-3G of cocaine finishing off with a bit of Mandy and then Valium to help me sleep.

I came off it myself too when I stopped being with the people I was friends with, it was hard but I think luckily I caught myself before I got past the point of no return.

I agree with PP that getting offered drugs on a night out is not normal and speaks volumes about your social circle and the places you are going. Please be careful OP. Are social services involved with your child?

@skunkatanka I mix in various circles and drugs are everywhere especially cocaine, and that's from the dodgiest dingiest nightclub to the most upmarket bars and parties. It's hard to get away from.

I'd have to disagree with pp cocaine is everywhere now especially in the town I live in, 90% of the people I know take it, young and old all different social circles and walks of life. I don't take it but you'd be surprised at some of the people who do who you wouldn't expect