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I'm a complete only child AMA

38 replies

ernjas · 14/12/2018 19:58

No brothers or sisters, no first cousins anywhere near my age and grew up as a complete only child.

Not sure if this is worth a topic but AMA if this is of any interest to anyone. Grin

OP posts:
Jessicabrassica · 16/12/2018 16:59

I'm also an only. Growing up wasn't a problem - always loads if friends around, friend came in holiday with us etc. I'm feeling if now though. By the time I was in my late 30s everyone in my family was either dead or demented and there is noone else who remembers my childhood. That hurt.
I have loads of fabulous friends but relationships are never entirely reciprocal. I regard my friends as family and prioritise them as such however they put family first and friends second. I don't expect any different but sometimes it hurts.

Onlymee · 16/12/2018 17:09

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MadameDuBarry · 16/12/2018 17:40

It's more the fact that everyone you meet will call you a spoilt brat, no matter how little time, money or attention is spent on you. It's the first thing people say when you don't have any siblings.

Only I can only feel that your obvious profound unhappiness is colouring your take on this. Who exactly is saying these things? How do people know you don't have siblings, unless they're actually friends of yours, and if they're friends, why on earth are they telling another adult she's 'spoilt'?

As regards time, money and attention -- as someone who grew up with nowhere near enough of any of these things, I can assure you that too much is better than too little.

ginyogarepeat · 16/12/2018 19:31

Only, I too think you sound quite depressed. A family comes in lots of shapes and forms and isn't only one comprised of multiple children! Please don't let this negative view taint your child's upbringing.

Junippers · 18/12/2018 00:08

@ernjas I was going to ask if you also want a big family. (Just seen your answer)

I am an only child, I longed for a sibling until I had my own children and then some desire for a sibling was filled with my bio children.

My mum had me when she was 40 (I was an accident, she was told she could never have children)

She died when I was 23, that was the hardest thing ever, and I do feel it was made harder for me by the fact I had no siblings. I didn’t have a fucking clue what to do. Luckily my Dad & Mum’s sister helped me plan the funeral etc things like that.

There are pros and cons to being an only child.

It’s not all doom and gloom.

I recently accessed my mum’s medical records going back 50 years and was desperately hoping I’d find out she’d had a secret child before me (ok, reading my first paragraph I guess I would be over the moon still now if I found out somehow I had a brother or sister)

I have 3 children currently, and would definitely like more one day.

I’ve known I wanted lots of children since I was very young.

Armchairanarchist · 18/12/2018 00:26

My son's partner is an only child of two only children. As an only child and only grandchild of a fairly wealthy family, some of the gifts she receives are eye opening. £50,000 one Christmas and a brand new Audi another. Were you spoiled in a way you couldn't have been if there were siblings and cousins?

gt84 · 30/12/2018 03:21

Only child here too.
Growing up I hated it. Probably was spoilt with gifts but my dad moved abroad when I was 8 and my mum never wanted to play the millions of board games I was given but had no use for as no one else to play with. Rarely had friends over and no friends on holiday etc.
I had a step brother for a while but then his dad cheated on my mum and I never saw them again. Also had a step sister for a while but only met her twice and sadly hated her because she got to live with my dad and called him daddy.
As an adult I do still wish I had a sibling. I see my friends with theirs and am jealous of that bond. But then my husband and his brother barely speak so i do know the bond is not always there. Always knew I wanted more than one child. I have two boys and although they don’t admit it, they have a great relationship. Of course they bicker and argue but they wouldn’t be without each other. Not for long anyway!!

HollySwift · 04/01/2019 21:41

So am I. It’s thoroughly shit.

KittyMcKitty · 04/01/2019 21:50

I’m an only child of an only child and am married to an only child. Mine and my ds’s grandparents are dead, as are dh’s parents and my mum. I hate it.

I have 2 children (would have liked 3) and it’s fab seeing them bicker together secure in the knowledge that they have each other. Hopefully they will both have multiple children and the family will expand again Smile

KittyMcKitty · 04/01/2019 21:51

^dh’s grand parents (not ds’s)

Awyeah · 11/01/2019 20:31

Sorry no question but just wanted to give my POV. I have an only and I don't want any more. While I do worry about it, I have friends with kids a similar age and I'll try my hardest to make sure the friendships endure. My sibling became severely disabled so I've had to deal with a parent's death pretty much on my own. There are no guarantees.

ChoudeBruxelles · 11/01/2019 20:32

Me too OP. Happy as an only.

Therighthonourable · 11/01/2019 20:38

I have one atm and battle about giving him a sibling. I am one of four and we are so close. We speak everyday, have group chats and meet up as much as possible. I feel awful that my son will never experience that kind of bond. But like people have said, it isn't guaranteed.

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