I was wrongly accused of FII/munchausens by proxy AMA

[GreyGiraffespointyhat]

I was wrongly accused and it has taken YEARS to finally clear my name (sort of)
I want people to be aware of this and how even after CP investigation and you’ve provided all proof that it doesn’t get taken off yours or children’s records .....it remains ‘just in case’

Suspicions were raised around us for the following reasons
-multiple medical conditions (ones that are deemed ‘red flag’ conditions (gastrointestinal, EDS and allergies)
-the fact I asked for additional support

It basically involved a game of Chinese whispers between professionals and got very scary very quickly.
Very difficult to get anyone to listen to us or speak to consultants instead the whole thing seemed to be led by educational settings and community healthcare workers and there was very little communication until we had a brilliant social worker who w actualky spoke to the consultants.

The case was eventually closed but we never got the dla back for one child and it has to still be kept on all of our records everywhere

It’s unfortunately not an isolated incident. FII is actually very very rare but numbers of parents being accused of it are far too high and there is training given identifying ‘red flag conditions’ which is concerning

[Elliesmama87]

Why are they red flag conditions?

[Threehoursfromhome]

How did you manage to clear your name?

[Onatreebyariver]

What medical conditions did your child have and did the Gp not agree that they actually had those conditions? Is that why they reported you for FII?

[GreyGiraffespointyhat]

There are ‘red flag conditions’ and these are spoken about at safeguarding meetings/FII training and they include
Parent or child with ASD
EDS
Gastro issues
Seizures
Allergies

[GreyGiraffespointyhat]

I managed to clear my name as much as is possible although some of it remains on file/in medical notes but has a statement attached to explain no concerns now after investigation

The GP was not actually involved until quite far into the process once social services involved by that point a report and chronology had already been put together by the school (we have since found out this is not recommended practice they should have gone straight to ss who would have done this). So it was not done as advised.
Although CP investigation was terrifying we had a good social worker she actually contacted all consultants and verified everything whereas up till that point everything alleged was speculation and Chinese whispers. She was very good I’m very grateful for her level headedness and open mind she didn’t read that report and believe it she came to see us under awful circumstances and she did her job very well.

We did have to get a solicitor involved as it was very serious because of how it had all started and we wanted to try and get our names cleared we had to wait till the CP investigation was closed.

[Grumpbum123]

Apologies for asking what is FII?

[GreyGiraffespointyhat]

Ehlers Danlos syndrome and gastrointestinal problems but the one that started it was allergies.
The school decided I had made them up ‘for attention’ despite the fact we had a care plan from the consultant, had had bloods and skin test results and had epi pens prescribed. As the gp wasn’t involved till after ss there was no chance of this being cleared up and then the other conditions were brought into it
It was all done dreadfully wrong and the first we knew was when ss called and insisted on coming the same day
The solicitor got all the files after and we can see how it was just back and forth speculation with nobody actually thinking to call the gp or the named allergy consultant. It just spiralled

[GreyGiraffespointyhat]

Fabricated or induced illness
The new term for munchausens by proxy

[GreyGiraffespointyhat]

We were told at the forat sign of such a serious concern the school should have called social services

[GreyGiraffespointyhat]

*first

[SmallDalek]

Glad you cleared your name. The problem with EDS (which I have) is that it can cause so many seemingly unrelated problems and a lot of HCPs don’t seem well informed beyond the Hypermobility aspect. I can see how needing to take a child to the GP for many and various thIngs such as stomach pain, bruising, fatigue, muscle aches, palpitations etc (all things I have amongst others) might set off alarm bells. It’s frightening to think that lack of awareness of some more unusual conditions can have such devastating affects on a whole family. No questions but just glad the nightmare is resolved more or less.

[seanceinterrupted]

Thanks for the heads up. Between 2 of my kids, we have asd, epilepsy, gastrointestinal issues, allergies (replete with epipens) & hyper mobility. Never occurred to me that this would be something someone would wish upon themselves ...

[ASauvignonADay]

We were told at the forat sign of such a serious concern the school should have called social services
schools actually have to build up quite a case before referring, as it's essentially hard to prove and it's near on impossible to get referrals picked up as it is... we (as a school) are told not to disclose to parents if you suspect FII. We have 2 cases where we suspect FII at the moment.

[TheVanguardSix]

How old is your DC now and did this saga interfere with his/her treatment and well-being?
What an absolutely dreadful situation for all of you.