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AMA

I was an independent, traditional surrogate

23 replies

Pissedoffdotcom · 08/09/2018 08:49

Surrogacy has cropped up again with lots of misconceptions & generalisations. Another surrogate has posted about her experiences of being a gestational surrogate (not biologically related to the baby) using an agency...I thought i'd offer the other side.

I was a TS (traditional surrogate - baby is biologically mine) - and we completed our journey without using an agency. Based within the UK.

I have my hard hat & thick skin on. Shoot

OP posts:
Smellybean · 08/09/2018 08:52

How hard was it to give up baby ? How many times have you been a surrogate?

yougotanygrapes · 08/09/2018 08:55

Same question really,

How difficult to give up a baby that is biologically yours?
Do you have contact with the child?
Do you expect the child to come looking for you one day if not?

(PS I think you're amazing)

Pissedoffdotcom · 08/09/2018 09:04

Only carried once. I began trying for another couple but sadly after a year our journey ended. Was very emotional.

This always makes me sound like a hard faced bitch, but handing her to her dads was incredibly easy. From the very start she was not my baby. Everything was about the dads. The pregnancy felt different; there was no bond with the bump, no psychological link as there was with my DD's pregnancy. The day she was born & I handed her to her dad was the most amazing day; i sobbed like an idiot because finally they were a family unit.

I still have regular contact with them, i get photos & videos & we plan to meet again soon. Last meeting was earlier this year. She will know where she came from, the whole story of her conception & birth. No secrets & she will always be welcome to ask me anything she needs to know. As will my own kids

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boux · 08/09/2018 09:07

Did you do it for the "expenses"?

yougotanygrapes · 08/09/2018 09:11

Well, I think you're a Superstar!! I couldn't do it and thank god there's people like you that can!!!!

Giantsquid · 08/09/2018 09:12

Poor child. All she ever knew was you even if you didn’t care enough to bond with her.

Pissedoffdotcom · 08/09/2018 09:18

boux nope i didn't. I allowed my IPs to set the expenses because i was not comfortable setting an amount. My expenses were questioned by CAFCASS & the court judge because of how low they were. I also didn't set any 'extra' expenses like many do - i had my own life insurance which i refused to allow them to cover. I refused extra clauses in our contract for multiples & for if i needed a c-section. Definitely not about the money.

Giantsquid i can guarantee if you met her you wouldn't be saying that. She bonded with her dads' voices in utero as we used special headphones to play their voices to her.

yougotanygrapes thank you. I always say it takes more to decide against doing it when you think you'd like to, than it did for me to do it. I wanted to do it since i was 17, it was amazing to fulfill it

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GlitteryFluff · 08/09/2018 09:20

How amazing! You completely changed their lives.

Pissedoffdotcom · 08/09/2018 09:23

They got married when I was 8 months pregnant - my daughter was a bridesmaid. They had their daughter christened - i am her godmother Smile

At both events i could see the absolute joy in not only their faces but their families' faces too. Honestly it still gives me warm fuzzy feelings to think about it

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Flashingbeacon · 08/09/2018 09:27

I was discussing being a surrogate with a friend, in a “could you do it way” rather than planning it if you know what I mean.
She said she could carry but didn’t know how she’d feel about using her own egg. I said the way I see it that egg was never going to be your child, it would have come away in a period. That’s how I would see it.
Not that anyone is lining up desperate for my genetics and oven Grin

Pissedoffdotcom · 08/09/2018 09:30

That was my basic thought. I wanted to do egg donation first but as a single mum the logistics of it were a nightmare - within a two week window the travel alone would have been crap. I stumbled into surrogacy earlier than i planned but it was amazing

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yougotanygrapes · 08/09/2018 10:20

Giant squid

You horrible person.

Pissedoffdotcom · 08/09/2018 10:26

It's fine, people have their opinions on it. They are perfectly entitled to them & i would much prefer people challenge me based on their opinions so that we can discuss things.

My surrogate child is a very secure little girl. She knows who her family are & that is very much loved.

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Ifeelinclined · 09/09/2018 00:30

What an amazing gift to give! I love that you are still a part of the the child's life and that you are so open with your child about it.

Fredkites · 09/09/2018 00:33

Just want to say thank you. Our surrogate changed our lives so profoundly. I can nevrr stop thanking her.

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/09/2018 00:36

You’ve done a really special generous thing and helped create a family.

Does your daughter know the girl is her biological half sister?

Was is a turkey baster conception?

Did you feel extra pressure during the pregnancy than when you were having your own baby? I’m pregnant at the moment and if I want crisps and yogurt for dinner I do what I like but did you find it different as it was someone else’s baby in there?

headstone · 09/09/2018 00:42

Your not her godmother though, you are her actual mother. The only one she will ever have. Have you considered she may have some issues when she gets older and are you prepared for that? Would you take her back if she was ‘orphaned’?

blueshoes · 09/09/2018 01:25

How did you meet the couple and broach the subject. Were they friends or acquaintances already?

Pissedoffdotcom · 09/09/2018 09:38

I'd never have gone into it if the agreement was that the child was not to know. That doesnt sit well with me. Obviously its harder to lie to a child when it is two dads anyway!

My daughter knows she is biologically related. She sometimes calls her her 'little sister with lots of parents'
As she gets older she'll get more details but she's still young so we work on the fact that they wanted a baby & don't have the right parts.

Not quite a turkey baster, more a syringe & a cup but yes, we did home inseminations ourselves. Less faff, less pressure & less expense on their behalf. It worked second set of insems we did which was pretty awesome.

I was pretty relaxed about the pregnancy tbh. I really blossomed when i was pregnant with her, as i did with my DD & it really helps i think. The boys were brilliant too, as long as i didn't drink or randomly start smoking - which i had already said would not be happening - they knew i'd done it before & knew what my body needed. They did buy me a non alcoholic cider one day as it was so bloody warm & i was overdue; little gestures like that were amazing.

No, if god forbid anything happened to the dads she wouldn't come here. She has a large extended family that she is very close to & it would be better for her emotionally to live with one of them. Coming to me would be unsettling for her i think - DNA doesn't trump family bonds imo.
If she ever had any issues of course i would do what i could to help. I will always have an interest in her life & she will know i am always here for her. Looking at older children born of surrogates i have yet to meet a family who are struggling with anything other than the usual issues as children grow up. She is well loved, everyone is honest with her & i will never disappear from her life unless she decides that is what she wants.

I was independent so I met them on a surrogacy group. I'd initially gone there for support & info as i tried to learn what i could; we started talking just generally as we lived relatively close by. They had been screwed over by a surrogate so were tentative & i liked that (the tentative bit not the screwed over bit) because it meant there was no pressure. When we eventually met up i felt like i knew them as friends, it was very comfortable & relaxed.

Fredkites i love hearing other IPs tell me their journey worked out well. I hate the media hype about it being bad based on the car crashes you see go to court - way more babies are born into beautiful friendships ime

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wheresthehope · 10/09/2018 02:57

I love what you have done OP! Flowers
Amazing gift of life you have given that family!
I just recently had a miscarriage while ttc for over a year but I would like to think one day I could do the same

Pissedoffdotcom · 10/09/2018 12:59

Thank you 🙂 since i did it & shared our journey two of my friends have successfully completed journies of their own too. It's amazing how many people open up about how they have debated egg donation or surrogacy but never been brave enough to move forward. And the stories of infertility i have heard are gutwrenching; people with fertility problems really do go through the wringer whilst folk like me fall at the drop of a hat. It is quite an eye opener

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bananafish81 · 13/09/2018 08:43

Thanks as always for sharing your story @Pissedoffdotcom!

Did you have any issues with the hospital when it came to the birth, as I know different people had different levels of understanding - some more than others!

How did you find the CAFCASS process?

Pissedoffdotcom · 13/09/2018 11:28

Hi bananafish81

Always love a good surrogacy post as you know!

Our hospital were a bit iffy at first, but once they realised it was all kosher they were great. I had a meeting with the head matron when i was 30 weeks to talk things through alone - i guess she wanted to give me chance to say 'oh god help me i've made a huge mistake' but of course it didnt happen. I explained what i hoped for; both dads to be at the birth unless c-section was required, initial skin to skin to happen with dad, dad to cut the cord if possible. We discussed what happened if i had to stay in - the hospital would not allow baby to leave without me. If baby was healthy & i needed to stay in, i would physically have to hand baby over to dad outside the hospital otherwise it would be put through as kidnap believe it or not. If baby had to stay in & i didn't, i would have to sign paperwork to say dads had full & open access to her & any information they wanted/needed.

It felt like quite a drawn out process but the matron was very friendly, very accomodating & i realised quite quickly it was just to cover their arses. As it was, none of it was needed anyway because she made her appearance super quickly at home 8 days late! Exactly one year to the day that me & her dads had agreed to match.

The CAFCASS side of things was a farce. We had one officer who didn't know what she was doing, who then went on leave without properly handing over to anybody. So we had to play catch up; the paperwork was handed to the courts on the last allowed day. It was pretty scary tbh as i wasn't sure what the protocol was if we missed that deadline.

My meeting with our CAFCASS officer was easy, she asked lots of questions about my motives, my experience, how i felt after the fact. She spent a chunk of time on expenses because she said they were 'astonishingly low' but was ultimately happy with everything. Her report was amazing, so so positive. When we went before the judge she actually made the unusual step of asking if we were permitted a copy each as she felt we deserved to see her comments - i almost cried. The judge told us he had no issues approving it, that it was clear baby was well loved by everybody & that it was clear us adults were very close. He said we were the most positive surrogacy story he had heard so far. Baby even got a little teddy from him.

Haha just reliving those bits has made me smile. She was 3 in August & i still look back at the experience with fondness. The only thing i didn't enjoy was when i was pregnant with DS (my own bubba), everybody kept asking me if i was 'keeping this one' - i guess people still see it as giving away a baby instead of handing a baby to their parents!

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