Infidelity - recover marriage?

[Patry]

This is a bit of an odd one.
So I have this friend whose husband cheated on her right after she had her second child, with ex.
They have been together for 11 years and he had not seen his ex for 17.
Now many of you, like me, would jump and say it is outrageous and she should leave him. Well, things aren’t often as black and white in relationships and they have agreed to try and work it out. Sometimes it seems like they are getting there and others it is hard. I reckon this is the norm but if any of you has been in this situation or knows of anyone...

• how long can it take to know if you can rebuild a marriage after discovering your OH had an affair?

Thanks

I don't think any marriage is worth 're building if there's infidelity. And more so in your friends situation, her 'dh' shagged about when he should've been there for her and their dc's.

There’s no fixing things like this. You can tolerate things but part of you is always going to be a bit ruined by it. I wouldn’t be willing to stay and have a lesser life with someone for the rest of my life.

I've forgiven. I don't feel my life is lesser for it
It doesn't make me weak.
It was a personal choice and I don't think either leaving or staying is an easy choice. I don't think people who leave make the "wrong"choice and I made the "right" one- there are no winners in this situation.
So, yeah ,some people do stay and make it work. It is possible to do.

To answer your question I knew after about 3 months that I wanted to make a go of things. He moved out initially and I hated him. Really hated him. I'm not sure why I decided it was worth a second go-but he was genuinely remorseful. And we both started being honest with each other.I will admit without the children I wouldn't have given him a second shot.
5 and a bit years and our marriage is better than ever. Was a long road. I learnt to forgive (although I'll never forget) and he has become a better husband and father. We really appreciate each other now and have fun together -we'd lost this.

How long did it take you to overcome emotions, trust and enjoy the relationship again though? She is only 3 weeks in and I think it will still take her a while longer?

Thank you. Very helpful. I will share this with her when I see her next week