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I lost my virginity when I was fourteen

30 replies

dmvnqpkejnvejrfnpwdkfjvn · 24/08/2018 07:25

AMA

OP posts:
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peachpearplum01 · 25/08/2018 23:01

Op, really interesting thread, sorry you’ve been through this. I went through something similar at that age - it was sexual although didn’t have full sex. At the time, and for years afterwards, I thought u just had an older boyfriend (19 to my 13, we were together until I was 15 and he was 21). It was only when I watched the Rotherham documentary that I realised I’d been groomed. I find it so hard to
understand how no one tried to stop
it as it all happened in plain view of many adults (including my parents - but they were kind of “groomed” too so I don’t fully
blame them. I have no idea how this has affected me in my relationships/life but it has certainly affected how much I will try to protect my children from anything similar.
I agree tyt counselling could be an option to try and unpick your feelings about this?

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Rebecca36 · 25/08/2018 23:09

You were a bit careless to have lost your virginity, most people know where it went :-).

I was 15, can't say I regret it. Wasn't very nice though.

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mollymcguire · 25/08/2018 23:11

Me too, and married him, 23 years later the fucker Is snoring bedside me after a belly full of pints and I'd have it no other way! We had our first child at 17,

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hungryhippo90 · 25/08/2018 23:23

Similarly to yourself, I lost mine at 13. Back then I felt like it was a choice, but he was 17 and he was a working young adult wheras I wasn't even yet in high school.
I was with him until I was 17, we had a child together. He moved on to another 13 year old, he was a younger friend of her step dad. As I became aware of the situation I started to feel strange about his relationship with our daughter. Luckily he disappeared years ago.

But I'm petrified of the ramifications of he came back into her life because he is a bit predatory.

I was told I should consider pressing charges on him yesterday, it took up much of the night and a discussion with DH turned into an argument.

I am scared it would look like I was out to get him, which I'm sure he's spent years telling everyone anyway, I couldn't allow the chance he could try and use it as some sort of proof to DD how much I wanted to hurt him, when that's not it..looking back he had no business sleeping with a 13 year old, and even if it was just me it would've been different, but it's somewhat of a pattern.
Adults knew what was going on too. Which always made me feel like it wasn't bad

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SpannerH · 08/11/2018 12:59

I was 14 too, (what I class as actually loosing my virginity) was with my bf at the time who was 4 years older than me. I don't feel regret or like I was groomed etc. we knew the group from school, a few of my friends went out with his friends (on is getting married to hers with a baby too). They were quite immature for their ages and we were a bit more mature for our ages. I never felt pressured. I think some people will have been groomed don't get me wrong but I do think that as a society we are at risk of branding all men with the same brush. Yes I was under the legal age and yes he was over but it was never a case of he was aware/unaware of anything we were each others first loves and when it ended 2.5 years later he went out with someone 2 years younger than him so its not like he went looking for another underage girl.

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