I was a housemistress at a boarding school- AMA

[Whatsthatgottodowithmyknob]

I was housemistress for the junior house (ages 7-13) for an all girls school

How many girls are sent there without wanting to actually go? Would you board your own daughter that young if you weren’t working there? Apart from forces children, family difficulties, are most people boarding their children for social connections/social reasons? Thanks .

How many girls are sent there without wanting to actually go?
Each year there were one or two who really didn't want to be there. A few were excited before but once they got there became homesick immediately.

Would you board your own daughter that young if you weren’t working there?
I'm due with my first in November, a boy, but I probably won't be boarding my children though i can understand why some do.

Apart from forces children, family difficulties, are most people boarding their children for social connections/social reasons? Thanks
A lot of people do board their children because they have the money to and it's the norm in their area and family. Many of the parents boarded too.

When I was a child I used to read lots of Enid Blyton books about boarding school and there was always talk of midnight feasts, sneaking out, etc. I suppose the children you were looking after were probably too young for any of this, but did anything similar take place?

Not that I know of, usually at the start of the year they wouldn't get much sleep and stay up chatting and laughing as it's like one big sleepover in a way but eventually they would settle down. They liked jumping out of corners and cupboards to scare me though

Thanks and congrats! Mine go to a prep school where a lot go onto boarding school. Having not come from the sort of background where it is the norm, I can’t help but think sending an 8 year old away to live is wierd (even at 13 where they want to, tbh!) Do you think sending a child away at 8 is/can be cruel? How do you comfort them when they really want to go home?

Hi! I'm also a Housemistress of age 10-15 girls (mixed school). No questions from me but solidarity fist-bump!

Oh no, I do have a question. You say "was" - have you left now? If so, how long did you have the role, why did you leave, and what are you doing now? (Unless the obvious answer is maternity if you're expecting your first?)

I went to a boarding school in the late 80’s-90’s.

It was brutal. I hope pastoral care has improved. We had very little supervision or care.

I left at the end of this school year, I had the role for 7 years. I left partly because I'm having my first and I'm also moving to be closer to both mine and DH's families

I was also a housemistress in a prep school. My house was BIG (50+ kids), co-ed, age 7-13 but mostly Year 7-8. Most kids loved it.

As well as forces kids and the odd one with family issues, we had lots of international boarders (mostly from SE Asia and Russia).

I boarded from young so for me it is very normal but I get why people think it's weird. Not sure if I would board my own. My siblings and I all loved it and my closest friends even now are those I boarded with (even though we are somewhat spread around the globe!)

OP - what was your favourite part of the job? What was the hardest situation you ever had to deal with?

I couldn't say it's cruel, they aren't in a terrible place and they do get a lot of opportunities there. They have one to one tutition every night, as well as their normal classes being quite small, instrument lessons, sports and they make really close friendships with eachother. Even the ones that found it tough at first would settle in. Although i do wonder sometimes how they can send them away, I think it would feel odd having your child there everyday and then possibly not seeing them for weeks. Essentially handing over the respondsibility of them to someone else. Though they could come and see them once a week on a wednesday for about an hour and they can go home at weekends. Not all of them do though. As for comforting them I think helping them understand and reassuring them that it's perfectly normal to feel homesick and every student in the house is in the same boat as them. The best thing for them was keeping busy during the day as much as possible because when things got quiet is usually when there were tears. But when they were already upset I'd give them a quick hug and try to make them laugh to take their mind off of things