I'm a Neonatal Nurse AMA

[CasualDress]

Hi just thought this might be of interest to some people.
I've name changed to keep this separate from my other threads.
I'm going to work shortly but promise I will answer any questions when I get home.

I do have a question actually, what's a good thank you from parents when they leave? We sent donuts and a donation but you must get sweet treats all the time?!?

Thank you from me also. My DD died in the neonatal unit, she was born unwell (we didn't know she was going to be unwell) and she died.

She was a week overdue and almost 9lb and looked so big compared to the teeny babies.

She died suddenly and I wished we would have had one of those deaths like on tv where we could have held her and comforted her whole life support was turned off, her death was traumatic with people rushing and noise.

My question - how often do babies die in neonatal? Do sudden deaths happen often? Thanks

@Darwinloves I am so sorry for your loss

Any gifts are very welcome! we have a constant supply of cakes which get eaten very quickly! Trying to diet at work is not easy!
we've had fruit baskets, tea bags, coffee, sweets, biscuits.
one parent bought us a new tv for the staff room and another bought a Nespresso machine!
Another useful gift was cutlery and bowls.
Lunch Breaks are often rushed so searching for a clean bowl or spoon wastes precious time.
One parent bought a supply of hand creams and last week we had 6 boxes of ice lollies from someone (luckily we have a small freezer)
Really, anything is gratefully received.
What's really lovely is a hand written cards from parents thanking us. We keep all the cards.

Darwin I am so so sorry. Words aren't enough

Sorry haven’t read the whole thread. Just a thank you from me too, my DS was in NICU and later ScBU for 5 weeks at the start, 31 week baby.

How do you cope with treating such tiny babies? Things like putting a line in and what’s that nutrition wire that goes in their wrist and up to the shoulder? Such tiny things must be so difficult to get right! Anyway, thanks again, you’re all amazing!

Darwinloves im so sorry for your loss I think its so much harder when its unexpected.
We do sadly of course have deaths. I'm not sure what's classed as often but it seems to go in spates.
There are the planned withdrawal of care deaths which can be 'lovely' with chance for family to visit & the baby to stay with parents and be dressed and bathed,

and more rarely the sudden unexpected deaths. sometimes something suddenly goes wrong and nothing can be done.
I've seen our Drs and consultants fight so hard for babies, it's heart wrenching.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

playmobilepirate that's tough. Ideally nobody wants to see a baby suffer. But I've not gone through that experience. I can't say how i would feel if it were my baby.
I know most parents want everything done no matter what the outcome, but some say enough is enough quite early on.
I do think it's getting harder as we are saving more and more extremely premature babies with advanced medicine and procedures but nobody knows the outcome of saving a 23 weeker & what problems this baby will have growing up. ...It's hard.

Casualdress thank you. The staff were wonderful the day she died, when I reflect I know we were really taken care of. You people are truly heroes for the work you do

Oh hand cream could be a great one.

Are there ever families you bind more with it remember, and do you Enjoy updates.

I send a card with an update every Christmas and I know staff change, but is that appreciated or a bit silly.

I do realise I said no questions!!

thinkingbee thankyou x
It's the Drs job to put all the lines in. we help by keeping baby still and happy! nurses can take blood and put in feeding tubes. The Drs put in the longlines (central lines) and I'm amazed how easy some Drs make it look! They have to be xrayed to ensure they're in the right place. The babies veins are microscopic!

aperolspritzplease
it's great to receive cards, especially if you put a photo of baby in the card. We all get to see the cards at handover as they are left on the staff room table for a week or so and we can all coo over them. It's not silly atall!!
I guess different nurses bond with different families. Personality plays a part. I find I usually click with a family from day one and they tend to ask when I'm on shift and like to chat about things outside work.
Others will be just as lovely but are quieter then surprise you by crying and hugging you when they go home

I've also been called a silly cow!

I received amazing breastfeeding education and support in SCBU which I feel made a huge different in mine and my daughter's journey (34 weeks born, tube fed for 3 weeks, EBF for 8 months, 3 weeks and counting).

My question is, do you see higher rates of bf success compared to the national statistics?

@CasualDress you sound exactly like the kind of legends that were there for mine when I couldn't be RESPECT xxxxxxx

okaasssn we have a great team of nurses who are 'breastfeeding advisors'
I'm not sure of our statistics tbh but I know an awful lot of our babies are breastfeeding at discharge.
I would never push a mum to breastfeed like some of the midwives do. I always tell mums to go with what they feel comfortable with and what fits in with family life. There is lots of help on the unit if they want it tho.

aperolspritzplease thankyou x

I'm off to bed now. Day off tomorrow so will answer more questions then.

Another one with no questions but who wanted to say a huge thank you. My son was born at 4lb 34 weeks with IUGR and a few related issues, but was HUGE and there were no major concerns for us, just a "straightforward premie case" as the consultant said.

However his three week stay was incredibly hard and it was you lovely people who kept my husband and I sane, coping, and informed.

I actually get a bit teary when I think of all the love you guys so willingly and tenderly gave to my son, when I couldn't. Thank you.

Catkin it may well be that your neighbour was told she was born v early to cover up a shotgun marriage. Women didn't want people to think they'd had sex outside marriage so if they found out they were pregnant they would get married quickly and then when the baby was born, tell everyone it had come early. My grandpa got to his 80s before realising there was only 5 months between his parents' marriage and his older sister being born!

@CatkinToadflax my grandad always goes on about how "super intelligent" my ds is. Ds is 5 and has the same level of intelligence as a 2.5 year old. I don't know if he is in denial or just has no clue about what a 5 year old is supposed to be able to do. Don't worry you didn't scare me. Ds is 5 now so we are long past the really scary stage when his future was so unpredictable. Just the more mundane problems to deal with now like dla forms and the seemingly endless toilet accidents.

I can't remember who asked about visiting when you have other dc. My baby who was in the neonatal unit was dc4. Dc1 and dc2 were at school and dc3 was a toddler. My in-laws work were very generous and gave them fully paid time off while dc4 was in hospital (dh wasn't so lucky and had to go back to work after 2 weeks paternity leave. Anyway, I did 9.30-3.30 in the neonatal unit during the week while in-laws looked after dc3. Dh went in after work and sometimes took the older dc too. It was hard and I always felt guilty for not spending enough time in the neonatal unit or at home. My older dc wanted to see and cuddle their brother but would get bored after about 10 minutes. My then 7 year old used to read his school reading book to dc4 in the neonatal unit.

SockQueen you may just have cracked it! That's a great point!

elliejj yes the 'mundane' bits are never ending....if this is the first time you've done the DLA form, a very large glass of and a big slice of are essential either during or immediately after writing it. It's a vile form that must break every parent's heart, but it's worth it to get funding for the support he needs. The EHCP process is one big hoot too! As for toilet accidents, DS was 9 by the time we'd cracked that one but thank ye gods we did eventually....sending you a hug x

I find it quite sad that we wave a baby off and never hear from them again. A lot of them have follow ups with the consultants but we don't get to see them unless they pop by for a visit.
Of course, a lot of babies come from miles away so they never come back.

Do you ever wonder if it is the right thing to keep attempting to lower the gestational age at which babies can be kept alive when the rates of severe disability are so high in the very, very preterm? I remember seeing a programme a few years ago saying that although rates of keeping these babies alive had dramatically improved the rates of keeping them neurologically intact had scarcely improved at all.

I worked in a NNU for a while when I was a junior midwife and absolutely loved it. Some of those babies will be parents themselves by now.

matilda it's very controversial. I know a lot of the medical profession don't agree with keeping the extreme preemies alive no matter what, but I don't know what the answer is the. How far can it go?
I know with regards to long lines and cannula there are limits to the size of the babies veins. Imagine how small a 23 weekers veins are and how tiny the lines need to be to fit inside the veins.

Not read thread yet but I wanted to say a huge thank you. Without people like you and your colleagues my 32 weeker wouldn't be here today. He is now 16.