I had an Orfi/urfi marriage - AMA

[secretkeepit]

And yes, I know it's not real (and I'm glad of it!)

What is orfi/urfi marriage ?

That was my question too!

I looked it up.

Now my question is, “How come?”

Basically, some Islamic countries do not allow men and women to share a room unless they're married - in fact sex outside marriage is illegal.

It has led to people in some countries, such as Egypt, trying to get around this - especially in the tourist resorts. Orfi/urfi is basically a 'paper marriage', and considered an acceptable document for men and women to share a room together but it is not registered with authorities. To 'divorce', they simply tear the paper up!

It's bizarre, and most Muslims do not accept this at all, whereas others think it's an acceptable way to have a relationship without getting married.

Why did you have one, and how long did it last?

@lovelydayintherain I was a silly and naive 20 year old and fell for a local while on holiday. This process was the only way we would spend time together without questions. I was the text book fool but we learn from mistakes and all experiences help us grow as a person

Are you Muslim? Were you a tourist needing to share a room with your partner?

Did you enter into it knowing that it was basically a shagging paper or were you led to believe by the man involved that it was a genuine marriage?

@Malmsey It was the only way to spend time together in the country without questions. It only lasted about 3 weeks.

Xpost.

So it was very easy to “divorce”? How long did the “marriage” last?

Xpost!

@AWomanIsAnAdultHumanFemale No I'm not Muslim. It is needed to share a room but it was also needed to avoid questions in some areas

Did you ever see him again?

You say you were naive and a fool, surely you were just being sensible? It’s not a real marriage but it saved you a lot of hassle while you had a fling.

@pinkmagic1 Yes I knew that's what it was, I knew it was a joke and actually I was glad it was such a ridiculous thing as NO WAY would I have genuinely got married!

What do you think you were foolish about?

@AWomanIsAnAdultHumanFemale I destroyed the paper and that was that. It lasted about 3 weeks (the time I was actually there).

@haggisflamingohaggis After I returned home we stayed in touch for a bit, but he turned out to be a bit of a cad. We decided there was no future there and went our separate ways (but it wasn't friendly in the end).

@AWomanIsAnAdultHumanFemale I don't mean that part, I mean getting involved in it all in the first place. I was silly to get involved with him/get caught up in the strange customs.

Ah ok. Did he not treat you well?

He was nice at the time, but after I returned home I heard he had another English girl about a week later :S I soon realised he was having several romances with dim British girls like me, and I felt silly to have fallen for it.

I know I can't blame him too much - I was caught up in the romance of it as well as the exotic holiday, and didn't stop and think about the aftermath. There was no future there, so of course he was free to do what he likes, but at the same time I was cross with myself for having got involved in it.

Ahh I wouldn’t worry about that. You wouldn’t be the first to get carried away with a holiday romance