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AMA

I live in Saudi Arabia. AMA!

876 replies

Shmithecat · 21/07/2018 00:02

I still hear so many daft claims about certain aspects of living in KSA. Happy to confirm or deny what you've been told!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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SunshineSpring · 28/04/2019 16:09

Yes, Absher could do with limiting some functions, but it also allows us to pay and renew all our residence permits, pay any traffic fines. I believe you can sort your post redelivery/missed parcels. Locals can sort housing stuff. Again, a case of much more than the newspaper headlines.

Sheogorath · 28/04/2019 16:14

Well that is the kind of punishment they can expect for being gay or reporting rape in Saudi.

Windowsareforcheaters · 28/04/2019 16:44

they aren't actually interested in what it's really like to live out there

It's not that I'm not interested it's just it seems to me there are more important issues than - will my cat like it.

I couldn't focus on 'can buy M&S knickers' when I was aware the police station I drive past may have acts of torture occurring in it. There is a bigger picture full of violence, death and oppression that I just can't skip over. I can't ignore the torture to check out the swimming pool.

Shmithecat2 · 28/04/2019 17:15

@Windowsareforcheaters
It's not that I'm not interested it's just it seems to me there are more important issues than - will my cat like it.

Then start your own thread about the issues you clearly need to talk about. This is a thread about my life in Saudi. Not about what I think of the human rights violations in Saudi.

JoinTheMicrodots · 28/04/2019 17:50

@Shmithecat2 I think my last questions (posted at at 11:58) got lost in the onslaught of repetitive criticism, but I’d be interested to know, if you’re happy to answer?

Shmithecat2 · 28/04/2019 18:18

@JoinTheMicrodots

Shmithecat2how closely monitored are westerners to make sure they’re sticking to the rules and not spreading dissent or criticising the regime? Is there a feeling of having to watch what you say and who you socialise/associate with? Or are you pretty much left to your own devices? Do you socialise much with Saudis?

Sorry, I do recall starting to type a response, but must have got sidetracked with the school run..

I think we're monitored here as much as people in the UK are, I'm sure. Social media is huge here. I wouldn't slate the House of Saud or Islam online etc. I can respect the laws here even if I don't agree with them. I don't feel that I have to watch who I socialise with at all. Not that I'm actually that social here tbh. Logistics don't make it easy, plus, as it gets warmer doing anything in the day is difficult, and with a 3yo, we don't tend to be night owls. My husband does socialise through work with some Saudis, I know a few through TNR/animal rescue work.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 28/04/2019 18:22

Then start your own thread about the issues you clearly need to talk about. This is a thread about my life in Saudi. Not about what I think of the human rights violations in Saudi.

Well technically the thread is “I live in Saudi Arabia. Ask me anything!” So people are asking you what you think about the human rights violations.

It’s just that you seem pretty nice on this thread. So I am interested in how you cope quite knowing such awful things are happening. Are you very good at compartmentalising? I’m not. I suspect living in Saudi Arabia would very quickly damage or destroy my mental health as I wouldn’t be able to switch off the “that is where they torture people, that is where they execute people” etc voice.

Windowsareforcheaters · 28/04/2019 18:31

When I drive past that police station who is being tortured inside?

If I live in KSA how do I square my conscience with the horror of what happens regularly near my house?

I can't go to "chop, chop square" because body parts might be displayed.

What a relief all the beheadings take place somewhere I don't go.

How do you live in a country where any or all of these thoughts might possibly occur?

JImbaroo · 28/04/2019 18:53

Great thread, really interesting.

How do you cope with the heat and hot weather? Do you sweat buckets? I would be worried about looking like Sweaty Betty the entire time (especially as I am going through the menopause and have hot flushes a lot!)

Do people head back to their home countries for the long hot summers? I have heard a lot of expats in Dubai do that because the heat is unbearable in the summer months. Is it like that in Saudi too?

Do expat/international schools support children with special needs such as Autism?

What is the TV like? Can you get English/American programmes or is it all Saudi channels?

What is your favourite Saudi food?

Thank you!

SeaEagleFeather · 28/04/2019 22:40

I suspect living in Saudi Arabia would very quickly damage or destroy my mental health as I wouldn’t be able to switch off the “that is where they torture people, that is where they execute people” etc voice

and yet you can live with the knowledge that old people are dying of thirst, neglect and ill treatment in the UK, and that vulnerable children are groomed and sexually abused. You could do something about that.

Strange where people draw the lines of what they live with and what they can't, but like to criticise other people.

JImbaroo · 28/04/2019 22:51

Does Saudi have a distinctive style of architecture?

You say there are many nationalities on your compound. Do non-white expats face discrimination in their workplace or outside of the compound?

Windowsareforcheaters · 28/04/2019 22:55

You could do something about that

Bad things happen in the U.K. and lots of people work to change that. People give to charity, donate to food banks, volunteer and even vote. All these things make a difference.

However, to compare the scale and nature of the wrongs in the U.K. to those in KSA is insulting to those who are being persecuted.

The grooming of children is awful but it is against the law. Our authorities do try to stop it, it is not condoned, supported and promoted by the state. This makes a massive difference.

The persecution, prolonged torture, forced confessions, public death and then the desecration of the body of the victim is in no way comparable to the issues in the U.K.

Do you really think we can compare the problems with the democracy in the U.K. to those in the regime of KSA?

Shmithecat2 · 28/04/2019 22:56

@Mumoftwoyoungkids
Well technically the thread is “I live in Saudi Arabia. Ask me anything!” So people are asking you what you think about the human rights violations.

I think they're awful. Awful things happen everywhere. Not just in Saudi. If the thought that awful things might be happening near me put me off travelling to or living in places, then my next stop would be the moon.

“that is where they torture people, that is where they execute people” etc voice.

I'm trying to understand where you're coming from, but I have to be honest, you just sound hysterical, and not in a funny ha ha way. I have no idea if/when/where people are being tortured, and as I've previously explained, the only place I'm aware of in Riyadh that executions happen is miles away from where I live, an area I've never needed to go to for any reason in the last 4 years and probably never will in the rest of the time I'm here. I just do my best to make sure it's not me making an appearance there. So far, so good.

Shmithecat2 · 28/04/2019 23:05

@Windowsareforcheaters

When I drive past that police station who is being tortured inside?

How would I know? How would anyone know?

If I live in KSA how do I square my conscience with the horror of what happens regularly near my house?

Nothing horrid happens near my house that I'm aware of. I live in a suburb near the airport. I do my best to respect the laws of the country I've chosen to live in, so my conscience is pretty clear. If I didn't live here, unpalatable things would still happen. I'm not responsible for any of it.

I can't go to "chop, chop square" because body parts might be displayed.

I've never had a need to go near Deera Square, so I won't see it.

What a relief all the beheadings take place somewhere I don't go.

Indeed!

How do you live in a country where any or all of these thoughts might possibly occur?

I hope my responses to the individual questions have answered this question for you.

Shmithecat2 · 28/04/2019 23:24

@JImbaroo
Great thread, really interesting.

Glad you like it 😊

How do you cope with the heat and hot weather? Do you sweat buckets? I would be worried about looking like Sweaty Betty the entire time (especially as I am going through the menopause and have hot flushes a lot!)

Riyadh isn't that humid, and everywhere has aircon thank goodness! Although, I don't think I'm that far off the menopause myself, and I'm sure it won't be too pleasant then!

Do people head back to their home countries for the long hot summers? I have heard a lot of expats in Dubai do that because the heat is unbearable in the summer months. Is it like that in Saudi too?
Yes, most do. I shall be back in the UK for 3 months, from the start of ds' school holidays until the very end! It can get to 50°c+. I was 7 months pregnant in that heat. I vowed never again! Also, it's just too hot to do anything outside all day, and my ds is a typical, active 3yo who likes to be out and about, so for both our sakes, we need to leave for summer!

Do expat/international schools support children with special needs such as Autism?

Yes, both the British and Multinational school do.

What is the TV like? Can you get English/American programmes or is it all Saudi channels?

OSN is the standard TV package here, with multiple foreign channels, but it's pretty crap. We watch all our TV through a mac mini into the TV and will always be grateful for good VPN providers! So most UK TV is available to us. The Amazon Firestick too.

What is your favourite Saudi food?

Fūl! It's a fava bean stew typically served for breakfast, which is just glorious when scooped up with zatar flatbreads. Although, my dirty secret food is broasted chicken by a chain called Al Tazaj. A 3 piece spicy meal from there always makes me happy Blush

Thank you!

Welcome!

PutYourBackIntoit · 28/04/2019 23:26

Do you think your health has suffered as a result of all the air con??

Is SA making good use of all the potential solar power capacity??

What is it like going to a Saudi's house for dinner/party?

How far outside of your compound are the local shops? Are there pavements? Can you go for a run outside the compound in the evenings when it's cooler?

Shmithecat2 · 28/04/2019 23:27

@SeaEagleFeather, let's face it, some people are just not going to be happy until I've said that I don't give 2 fucks about human rights as long as I can pour Dom Perignon on my cornflakes..

Shmithecat2 · 28/04/2019 23:40

@JImbaroo
Does Saudi have a distinctive style of architecture?

Modern housing is generally sand coloured Grin. Either high rise apartment blocks or individual walled villas. Commercial premises are a total mish mash of weird and wonderful architecture, generally more weird than wonderful to my eye. However, older towns, Al Balad in Jeddah in particular, are just breathtakingly beautiful. Its actually a UNESCO WHC. The pic attached is from when I went there last month.

You say there are many nationalities on your compound. Do non-white expats face discrimination in their workplace or outside of the compound?

Yea, sadly. For example, Filipino women are often just assumed to be maids. Sometimes nurses if they're lucky. The two that I am friends with are actually a software designer and a recreation manager. The racism generally stems rather from where they originate than the colour of their skin. It's awful.

I live in Saudi Arabia. AMA!
Shmithecat2 · 29/04/2019 00:08

@PutYourBackIntoit
Do you think your health has suffered as a result of all the air con??

Um, no, I don't think so. Going from climate to climate (between here and the UK) does seem to affect us a little though, always get a bit of cold like symptoms.

Is SA making good use of all the potential solar power capacity??

There's a project going on since 2012 which aims to have at least 1/3 of all power in KSA to come from solar power sources by 2032. It's lagging (projects tend to do that here..), but achievable. Obviously, the main objective is to wean off oil, but I think when the price per barrel goes up, they tend to get a little distracted...

What is it like going to a Saudi's house for dinner/party?

I've not been to one. Most Saudis still tend to have separate male and female gatherings still, and logistically for me (transport and childcare) it's hard. My husband has though - most recently, he was invited to celebrate the birth of a colleagues child, a bit like a postnatal baby shower for the dad and his mates.. . He said it was lovely, very generous hospitality, lots of food etc. Many Saudis are very aware of how they and their country are viewed... they're desperate to combat it. SOME parts of the country and its culture really is wonderful, but gets totally shouted down in favour, rightly or wrongly, because of the atrocities repeatedly mentioned in this thread for example. It's a shame, all of it.

How far outside of your compound are the local shops? Are there pavements? Can you go for a run outside the compound in the evenings when it's cooler?

One of the best bits of living in my compound is that it has it's own, secure entry walking access direct into a supermarket, which then leads out into a plaza of shops and cafes etc. It's the only one I know of in Riyadh. Most compounds will have a mini market though, and maybe a salon, gym, restaurant etc. And very large shopping malls, all with a hypermarket in them, are every couple of kms. I can think of 5 or 6 off the top of my head that are within 10/15 mins in the car. Yes, there are pavements, but no pedestrian crossings. But people drive everywhere here as there is still no public transport yet, so I'm guessing that they're not really seen as necessary iyswim. No, it's not really the environment for anyone to run in - especially not women, as 99% still wear abayas, which are a major trip hazard, even for a gentle stroll . The pavements aren't particularly well kept, cars park on them a lot, and of course, crossing the road as I've mentioned can be a little bit hairy. There are many gyms though, even some for women now. And people run round our compound a lot, it's safe, big and flat.

FollowYourOwnNorthStar · 29/04/2019 01:02

Hi OP - fascinating thread, thank you for being so good humoured and patient with all your responses. I am up to message 300 (and will keep reading!) but I wanted to jump in early and ask some questions:

How old are you and your husband? I’ve just Read your husband has been in his industry for 30 years, so he must be in his 50s? But you have a young child? (Sorry if this is too personal).

Do you plan to have more children? You answers seem to focus on a future for only one. (Again, I apologise if this is too personal).

It sounds like you are a great support to your husband. Are there single men or women in your compound? Can they date? (Each other, or more widely in the community?) or is it rare that single expats come over as it would be a very big personal challenge?

Thank you. I am really enjoying this thread and will keep reading the next 350 posts now!

FollowYourOwnNorthStar · 29/04/2019 01:05

Oh! I also wanted to ask about the home brew wine you mention..... so you can’t buy wine, even in your compound? Do many people make it?

Segmentationfault · 29/04/2019 01:43

If your child was gay or reported a rape would you be okay with them being tortured?

Nothankyounotforme · 29/04/2019 02:12

What changes would you like to see in the next 10 years?

I'd like to see changes to the racism in the country. Its horrid sometimes. Heartbreaking.

I would be really interested to hear more on this if you wouldn't mind? We are often fed the claim that the country I reside in is one of the most racist in the world (but I fail to see any evidence of this) so am wondering what it could be compared to?

By the way, I am loving this thread and really appreciate your answers.

Whizzler · 29/04/2019 02:36

Interesting thread.

Saudi Arabia sounds horrific.

Smotheroffive · 29/04/2019 02:46

Wow, you had me at...

the racism. The sexism/misogyny (although this is starting to get better, tiny bit by tiny bit) The animal cruelty

...and then the (even the girls) comment

Sounds horrendous. Women all covered up and owned by men. Something as simple as wearing a bikini...

....everyone goes there for the money...so its worth it right? Hmm