Married to an MP

[LongWeek]

Not sure if anyone wants to ask me anything...

I won’t say which constituency or party.
Might have to be a bit vague about some things to ensure anonymity.

I made a formal complaint to our MP about CAMHS and MH care at our local hospital. Within 48 hours each time the MH trust offered an intervention so I am grateful for that. However he makes excuse after excuse for the local hospital and has said he and his family have received superb care there. Do you think constituency MPs and their families get VIP treatment on the NHS and therefore don't see how awful it really is for the rest of us. Somehow I can't see our MP's wife being shouted at and called "darlin" "love" or "mum" in A&E?

And against the grain of many on this thread. My DH was determined to be an MP, was treasurer of a think tank, a constituency officer, a local councillor and stood in a no-hoper. By the next election we had a DC, his career was taking off and he decided career and financial stability came first. How do you afford to live well?

Do you think MP's should have 20-30 years of experience before running the country? DH is late 50s now and could offer so much but well past the selection committee sell by date.

NI- I don’t know what his views are tbh. I don’t know a great deal about NI politics- except obvs that DUP are propping up the traitors at the moment. I’m embarressed to say that I don’t know if there are any other NI MPs who actually sit in parliament st the moment. (I know SF don’t sit)

I find this incomprehensible.

Is there any chance of another referendum?

Thanks for your answers!

Are you a member of the party your OH represents? And would you have chosen to be if he wasn't involved?

ballyhoo

From memory it’s Lady Sylvia Harmon (ind) I think?
OP I’m not surprised you don’t have knowledge re NI. Having lived in England for a long time I’d struggle to see where you would absorb it unless you went searching specifically. I am so, so concerned about what Brexit will do to NI (and ROI)

I thought MPs and people who worked for MPs in their constituency offices would keep up to date on current affairs, tralee, like Brexit and the border between UK and Ireland.

I do realise that the general public may have no opinion or knowledge on NI. I also realise MPs may have no opinion/views at other times (though this is appalling.

Also worried about the GFA.

The reason I'm struggling with understanding is that the OP seems so well informed and reasonable on other subjects. I do find it difficult to understand that NI is so at the bottom of the pile. Particularly in these troubling times.

I would only encourage people to do it if they have a real passion for it, are willing to make sacrifices & have a think skin. I think people should do another job first.

We use the NHS and have never received VIP treatment- I don’t tell anyone my husbands job unless I have to. When I told my doctor (stress was getting to me) they were interested but it didn’t change the way I was treated.

Apil in the office we each have dedicated subject areas that we focus on- someone else deals with NI which is why I personally don’t know a lot. DH obviously does, I just don’t talk to him about it.

If it was my subject area/ department I would know stuff. For Other subjects I could tell you off the top of my head the relevant Secretary of State, minister, junior minister- what they are each responsible for, (and shadow people) latest policies of government & opposition- their impacts on our local community & predict what letters we will get in about that area. I could also draft a response to those letters based on the policy of the party. All without any googling. My colleague could do the same for NI

I am a member of the party, I probably wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for DH.

I don’t think there will be another referendum- I think an early election is more likely.

Obvs I know that power sharing in NI has broken down and that at the moment it isn’t happening. And that NI voted remain, and that Ireland (the island) is a major issue in brexit negotiations and may cause the whole country to have major problems.
I also know that NI can’t access abortions, but as a devolved subject Westminster can’t impose that law, no matter how many people think we should. I’m not entirely ignorant!

I thought Northern Ireland would have been more discussed, especially at the moment, what with the DUP propping up the government and there being no solution to the border issue in the case of a hard Brexit. I can understand it not being part of constituency work. I'm sure you don't talk politics 24/7 at home, but I was genuinely surprised you have no idea of your DH's views.

I suppose it's not really seen as relevant to the rest of the UK.

No, didn't at all think you were ignorant. The opposite, that's why I was so surprised.

Do you find that his holding office affects your behaviour? I mean that you choose to do or say (or not do or say) certain things for fear of the way it might reflect on him?

Is there pressure applied by the Party or by DH to do the above?

There have been First Ladies here who, after their DH's have left office, later admitted that they felt differently about major issues than their husbands did but didn't say anything in public when they were in office. I don't know if I'd be able to keep my mouth shut.

Thanks for this thread OP, it’s so interesting. Very glad to hear you’re raising the dangers of self-identity in the corridors of power.

Hmm I think your dh could be in one of the nearby constituencies.

I have just discovered the local authority no longer has anyone left in the DFG (disabled facilities grant) office. Just a manager. They should have 6 technicians or something as well. I am planning to tell my MP & have mentioned it to some councillor friends, one of whom is going to raise it & dig around. It could have a huge impact on disabled people. Is there any point talking about this level of local stuff with MP’s or am I better off focussing energy on the councillors? I usually ‘use’ my MP by copying him in when I need the LA or CCG to take my email seriously, but I rarely ask for direct intervention.

I will mention it to my MP as I am dealing with him on a related matter, but can I expect anything to come out of it? Ideally it’s the sort of thing the local MP’s would get together with but they’re different parties and constantly bickering. I don’t vote for either of their parties (I’m a Lib Dem) & just wish they would work together for the city.

So long winded way of asking whether there’s any point raising it, but also curious as to whether your DH has any good friendships with people from other parties?

Affecting my behaviour- yes, I am very careful about what I say & to whom. I don’t agree with him on everything, and I don’t want to cause problems.
There is no pressure from party or anyone else on that- and DH wouldn’t mind if I was outspoken. It’s just a choice that I make.

Devilish you could raise it, but as MPs have no jurisdiction over councils it might not help. Doesn’t sound great though.

Yes, DH has MP friends from other parties- either from working with them in APPGs (all party groups) or people he has met on foreign delegations. There are quite a lot of opportunities for them to work together- when not actually in the House shouting at each other.

But there is always a slight reticence - the knowledge that they are on a different side. Politics is a place where you have to be careful who you trust.

Thanks longweek. It sounds as if the councillors getting annoyed about it is the better option then.