Married to an MP

[LongWeek]

Not sure if anyone wants to ask me anything...

I won’t say which constituency or party.
Might have to be a bit vague about some things to ensure anonymity.

Which MPs do you admire and why? Past or present.

Why can't they just honestly answer the actual question they've been asked, instead of skirting around, blathering on about other things, and not answering it at all?

I really recommend listening to the Ed Miliband and Geoff Lloyd podcast - where he addresses this specific question (and why he suddenly seemed to come across as a human being once he stepped down, after his robotic appearance as leader)

Basically he said as an MP you have to stick to the party line and can't say what you actually believe, cos when you do you are hauled over the coals for it (paraphrasing massively) and that it was very liberating to be able to actually answer a question directly and speak his mind

Are you Sarah Vine?

Ah well, OP, if you are Sarah Vine then my open marriage question is null and void.

Of course you are quite safe, and there would be no question of any other close relationship, except possibly with a childhood teddy

My MP is known for being lazy and rarely answers letters from constituents. It's a fairly safe seat. I've heard from a reliable source that s/he only sees the job as a stepping stone to get where s/he really wants to be. I'm not suggesting most MPs are like that.

What's the best way of persuading our MP to take notice of our concerns and act on them?

Pretty sure OP's not Sarah Vine.

She's been here a while and, as I said, always posts really helpful, informative stuff.

science what banana said- if a party MP (as opposed to independent) you have to toe the party line. But sometimes the party haven’t quite decided yet, so you can’t answer with certainty what the line ‘should’ be.
If you say something that doesn’t fit that expected line, you end up on the front page for the wrong reasons.
I’m not Sarah vine. Ew. No.

cattenberg sadly not a lot you can do. That’s the downside of first past the post & safe seats. It makes me really cross. Super cross.
Because it gives allMPs a bad name. And when you hardly see your DH because he’s a conscientious one, it’s really annoying.

But you do have to remember- no MP can please everyone all of the time. There will always be people who feel they are not being represented.

Bore that is really kind. Really.
The gender thing is something I feel strongly about, and not enough MPs are thinks by about it yet.

In most things, I can’t say what I think anywhere. (Like I said Im not Sarah vine) I keep quiet so as not to cause trouble.

But gender- I’ll make a fuss about.

I speak as I find, OP. I speak as I find

Yes, I'd sort of picked up that you had views re gender. Have you explained the concept of lady-penis to your DH yet?

And actually- the thing I want people to remember is this:
Yes- ask your MP for help when life goes pear shaped. Sometimes they can help- visas, housing, benefits, CMS, schools. When government departments screw up, an MPs office can cut through the ‘computer says no’ culture.
Write to your MP when you feel strongly about something. Make it personal- not a standard text. It has more power & can change things.
If you want to change things- get involved. Join a political party- or offer to help in elections. You should get your hand bitten off.

Whichever party. I don’t care. The thing that makes me saddest is people just not bothering to vote. Every vote counts- if you back a losing party, your vote does mean something- all the parties that ‘lose’ an election get money to help their work in parliament. It’s calked ‘short’ money. The more votes the geeen party gets, the more money they get. So your vote does count,

Thanks LongWeek. I didn't know about short money. Maybe there would be less tactical voting if more people knew about it.

DH thinks that a penis is an entirely male part of a human body,

Cattenberg- it’s not talked about much.
UKIP got super upset by Douglas Carswell when he was their only MP. They’d got lots of votes, so lots of short money, which he rejected & said he didn’t need.
UKIP party people were very upset with him.

He needs to spread the word in the corridors of power!

oldowl sorry didn’t mean to ignore.
I really don’t know. Even if I think about it.
The guy who abolished slavery.
The people who got women the vote.

But now I’m in the bubble, mostly I just respect the people who are willing to put themselves and their families through it.

A couple of years ago I was whinging to a friend about DH being away, but commented that ‘at least, unlike with the military, he won’t get shot’. But then Jo Cox was killed. And we get death threats. So I respect people who are willing to step up.

Bore I know. We’re working on it. Person by person. I’ve managed to drop it into conversation with at least 3 MPs.

Sorry to lower the tone. But this open marriage thing - does that have both male and female representatives? Or is the stereotypical view of Westminster being full of dodgy men correct?

Vanilla I think it’s both. Probably more men- as more male MPs.

But there’s no shortage of people working in Westminster- male & female who are willing partners.

What does your DH think of the Northern Ireland border question re Brexit?
... Does he know where Fermanagh is ? Can he pronounce Fermanagh? Not all at Westminster can apparently. Does he think the interests of NI folk are well served by the DUP?

Do you meet other MPs and MPs' spouses/partners?

NI- I don’t know what his views are tbh. I don’t know a great deal about NI politics- except obvs that DUP are propping up the traitors at the moment. I’m embarressed to say that I don’t know if there are any other NI MPs who actually sit in parliament st the moment. (I know SF don’t sit)

I have met some other MPs at events. I occasionally meet spouses/partners but it’s very rare. Maybe once or twice a year I might meet one.
At party conference I will probably meet a couple. I don’t know any personally or as friends. But it’s always good to meet up as they are the only people who really understand what it’s like.
If I was based in London I might meet more MPs & spouses more often.

Autocorrect fail up there- traitors should read tories!

Ha! I did wonder if you were showing party colours!. I'm not married to, or indeed have had any relationship with an MP but I have worked closely with several due to my job. In any walk of life you will find a proportion of knobs but all the MP's (and indeed Peers) I've engaged with (across party lines) have been decent folk who genuinely want to make a difference for their communities. I also always feel for their families - as you've said Long they are always"on show" and have to manage a weird existence.

Thanks for replying. I am quite curious as to whether or not you are married to my MP but he was elected in 2017, so you probably aren't.
I think Philip May is great in his role, as a lot but not all MP's spouses are.
Would you recommend to anyone that they encourage their spouse to enter parliament?
Did your husband stand as a councillor first?