I am 42 and have secondary breast cancer

[Elisebev]

Ask me anything

How are you feeling today?

How did you find out?

What treatment have you had / Are you having / do you expect to have?

Life can be so unfair. Have you changed because of your diagnosis? Are you angry?

I found a lump under my breast back in November, I wasn’t too concerned as I had injured my rib a few months earlier so was sure it was due to that. (The lump was in the same place). I went to the doctors and he said he was referring me to have it checked. He never gave me any reason to worry. The referral took 7 weeks to come through, I went for the appointment on my own as my parents were in Florida and well there was nothing to worry about. When I went to the hospital I was examined then sent for a mammogram and ultrasound. That was when I started to panic. The lump was on the left breast but they kept doing pictures of the right breast too. Then they got me in for more pictures on the right breast. At the ultrasound the girl doing it kept pointing to something, I eventually went back up to see the doctor and was told there and then that the lump I had gone about was almost certainly cancer and that there was something suspicious on the other breast too. I was in total shock and burst into tears. It was not confirmed till a few days later that it was in both breasts. For the next few weeks I was back and forward to hospital for tests and appointments. Eventually was due to start 6 sessions of chemo. The week before chemo was due to start, we got told that a bone scan which I had thought was a routine tick the box exercise had shown something they weren’t happy with. A few days later, we got the news that it had spread to the spine and pelvis. I was devastated. Was told it was treatable but incurable Thought it was the end. The chemo plan was abandoned and I’m now on long term medication with scans every few months and three monthly bone infusions. Luckily I’m not having many side effects

A few months on, Im not sure it has really sunk in. I still don’t really get how I can feel perfectly healthy have virtually no symptoms (I had a few weeks off work but now back full time) yet have all this going on in my body. Suppose its a good thing but at the same time if I think about the future I get a bit scared of what lies ahead. My friends and family have been amazing but I find it really tough to see everyone carrying on with their lives as normal whilst I have all this going on.

I havnt really changed since diagnosis although I must admit I struggle now to be motivated about work. A lot of it seems so pointless and unimportant now (hope my boss isn’t on here)

What's the prognosis?

Also amazed at your strength!

You brave woman

At the moment I'm on daily hormone medication which stops the cancer growing/spreading. I had scans last month which showed that everything was shrinking. I will stay on the medication as long as it is working(will be scanned regularly to check) if and when it stops working there are other things they can try. There are new things being developed all the time. Have to really try to stay positive which is not always easy. I've cried so much in the past six months. Doesn't help that I lost an old school friend to secondary breast cancer in 2016.

Thank you for sharing. That all sounds very scary, especially that you have no symptoms (I mean that's good too as you feel physically ok now, but makes it scary to think things like this happen without being noticeable!). Do you know how long the lump was there for before you found it?

I've no idea how long it was there.

I had injured my rib in the February when I was thrown from a horse. Didn't get it x rayed. Was told that there was no point in going to hospital as they can't do anything for ribs. Now I often find myself wondering if the reason I damaged my rib when I fell was because my bones were already weakened by the cancer. Not sure I really want to know the answer to that one!!

Whilst I can carry on riding. No more riding horses that I don't know well. Can't risk falling off again

It does seem strange to me that my rib injury was exactly where the lump developed.

This must be a difficult thing to live with. Do others try to tell you everything will be alright/think you are now cured?

Its early days for people to think I’m cured but I do sometimes think people think this will be a few months long nightmare and that will be it even though I’ve saud its incurable. I think also the fact that I look so healthy confuses people, to be honest I can’t get my own head around it so how can I expect other people too

What were the lumps like?

I hope you are being looked after you're positivity is impressive.

It was just one small hard lump on the rib just under my left breast. It definitely got bigger between me first noticing it and the hospital referral coming through. I wasn’t aware of anything wrong in the other breast. Pretty scary really. I just try not to think too much about it

My gp told me after diagnosis that as soon as he saw it he knew. He did a good job of hiding it from me. Probably just as well given that the “urgent referral” took 7 weeks. On the other hand, if I had been given any idea that it would be serious I would have made sure I had taken someone with me for the hospital appointment. Plus I wouldn’t have booked flights over xmas for my holidays this year, lost a lot of money on those as the insurance said that I was already under investigation for something before the flights were booked

for you op

Do you have kids?

No I dont. Im single

How has this changed your outlook on life? Are you tempted to just sack it all in and go live crazily?

Hi OP
Chipping in here to say there is a cancer support thread here where those of us dealing with cancers of all types find reassurance and help, plus space to rant and rave.

So sorry about your diagnosis. How old are you?

Sorry OP! I should read the title more closely! Any age is too young...

@happychange

I was tempted to jack it all in especially at the beginning when the bad news just kept on coming. I did eventually go back to work after seven weeks off then a phased return for another few. Now that I’m back to work full time, being back in my more or less normal routine kind of helps to make me feel a bit more normal and the fact that I’m coping ok with the hours etc definitely helps me feel more positive. A lot of people have been surprised that I’m back at work. As much as I’m struggling to be motivated about any of it now, just sitting in the house doesn’t help ones mental state. ,

I think the hardest bit is that I can’t really just take things for granted anymore. Ive always been one for planning my next exotic holiday months in advance. Going forward, it feels a bit odd to plan something but then although a part of you wants to get excited, the other part is thinking will I be well enough to go.