I worked as a counsellor at a rape crisis centre AMA

[AvonCallingBarksdale]

Obviously not going to discuss individual clients but if people have questions around the referral process, the type of counselling, training required, support given to client and counsellor, general themes, then ask away.

Given the change in wider attitudes in society to what a rape / sexual assault ‘is’, have you seen a change in the types of cases you deal with, and a change in you and your colleagues views?

Do you think the change is a good thing?

What do you think of the police/court process?

How do you support women who come to see you?

How do you cope with the trauma that you help people to deal with?

And, thank you. I thankfully haven't needed support but have a friend who did. I don't think she would be here today if she hadn't been believed and taken care of.

How did you become a counsellor at a rape crisis centre?

Do you ever absorb the trauma of others and find it difficult to separate yourself from it?

Just getting people ready for school, will return ASAP.

Can you go back to rape crisis years later? Or am I beyond that?
Years on it still really bothers me and I still get nightmares.
Through the nhs I've had counselling but they really didn't seem to understand just how I felt and still feel.

Do you ever treat women who were raped a long time ago? If so was it productive/did it help the woman? Let's say the woman was 14 and is now 40.

MISERICORD - yes I did see a change. We had a huge spike in referrals when the Jimmy Saville case hit the news and as a consequence of that people talking more about what rape is. People phoned the helpline asking if it was ok to come and talk because something had happened years ago. I think there is a, albeit very slow, shift in public understanding of why people may wait years before coming forward.

DRAGONLIGHT - the police process is very hard. I think the police are more aware and understanding now. They need a body of evidence to present to the CPS and even then CPS may not take on a case which can be devastating.
Counselling at our particular RC is open-ended, ie for as long as you need. There are also group sessions available and 2 ISVAs - independent sexual violence adviser- to help with the court process/advocacy.

MISERICORD - yes I think the shift change is a good thing. People often say what about false accusations - I think statistically they are a v v small minority.

MONKEYMUMMY - we have monthly supervision sessions and peer support. I have pulled over in a car before to scream and sob. I had a lot of intensive training before seeing women and it’s not for everyone.

What do you think of the legal challenges mounted by people born male who now present as women, demanding access to/jobs at rape crisis centres?

THEVANGUARDSIX - part of my counselling training was to completely 150 hours of face to face counselling. Most people I trained with went to bereavement centres or youth centres. I wanted to work with women. I counselled there for 5 years and now volunteer as group facilitator. Apart from about 3 people all roles are unpaid.
I have two children and at times if a case related to similar ages to my two I would struggle to separate. Part of being a counsellor is maintaining good boundaries but it can be very hard. That’s one reason why 5 years solid counselling was enough for me.

NEWNAMEFOR - I have seen women in their 60s who were raped as young children. It is never too late.

Do you have to be registered with a gp in the town you wish to attend in order to access the counselling like you do with counselling offered by Mind?

CUPPATEA - yes. In fact most women I met had come because of historic rape and sexual abuse. Most not all. For some it probably got a lot worse before getting any better because feelings had been buried for so long, especially if family were involved. It can take years to unpick but I would say it’s definitely worthwhile.

SHOTSFIRED - I fundamentally disagree with someone being born male being able to work in a RC centre. We were exempt from the equal opportunities act on that point. A Rape Crisis centre for some people is literally THE only safe place and I think they should remain so.

WITCHOFZOG - no not at the centre I’m at. People can self refer via the helpline or a friend can do it. Sometimes police will refer. The GP doesn’t need to know. I have seen a client out in town and obvs I don’t acknowledge but I’ve been introduced as a book club friend before

I have to go to work now but will check in later.

And what about men who have been raped or abused? Do you see them? They need help too.

Thank you OP, maybe I'll get in touch with them. I assumed as it wasn't recent it would be too late for them.

STARFISHMUMMY - we wouldn’t see them but you are right of course. We would signpost to other relevant organisations. Whether people agree with that or not, that’s the procedure.

NEWNAMEFOR - I can’t speak for all centres but that would be the ethos for the rape crisis centres I know - that it isn’t ever too late

Have your experience made you change your own behaviour outside of work? Does it make you overprotective of your dc?

How did you explain your job to your dc when they were young?

Is your counselling service funded sufficiently so that patients can access counselling quickly enough and for long enough?

@starfishmummy And what about men who have been raped or abused? Do you see them? They need help too.

Are you aware of how rape centres like the one OP works in even came about?

Women founded them and staffed them and built them inch by inch, pound by pound, rape by rape - as a response to the overwhelming numbers of men raping women. They didn't just appear one fine day all fully funded and ready to go.

Are you now saying it should be incumbent on women to also provide rape services for [the thankfully small numbers of] men who are raped? When did men get so helpless they can't manage it themselves? (They certainly don't seem to be helpless when they are busy raping women in such disproportionately large numbers)