I was cheated on while pregnant, but we’re still together- AMA

[Always3babies]

Ask away. It’s cathartic talking about it!

What is your relationship like now.
Have you forgiven him.

Is he sorry.
Do you worry that he's likely to do it again. If he cheated again would you end it or stay with him.
Do you know the ow.

How do you move past something like this?
What were his excuses? How did you find out?

What is your relationship like now.
Have you forgiven him.
Is he sorry.
Do you worry that he's likely to do it again. If he cheated again would you end it or stay with him.
Do you know the ow

We’re very good now. It took a while to get here(3 years)
Yes mostly I have- I can’t forgive my last few weeks of pregnancy/first few weeks of babies life being tainted but all in all yes.
It happened again with a one off email a few months later and I took our child and left (from one country back to England) he followed a few weeks later. But now I don’t think he ever would, his family and my family refused to talk to him, I was disgusted with him he was left completely alone and had a lot of time to repent. As far as I know none of the relationships are physical (though I have my doubts) it was several explicit and sometimes romantic texts to several different women.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone more sorry for their actions than he was.
I knew of the main woman he was texting, he worked with her. She knew of me and knew I was pregnant. She was also very rude to me every time we met. She was also in a long term relationship. I do regret not telling her partner.

How did you find out?

How do you move past something like this?
What were his excuses? How did you find out?

The resentment was very hard at first . As stated in the PP we had time apart. We argued and fought we also spoke and basically just argued, spoke, loved, cried , fought until we got back to us. No secrets, no more resentment, just the life we have.
His excuses were mainly he was a juvenile and he wanted attention I wasn’t providing( I suppose we grew distant for a while) but he never tried to excuse his actions.
He was due back to work after paternity (meaning our baby was 3 weeks) he’d gone to bed and I waited for the midnight feed to come around, fed ect and we came to bed . Noticed his phone was unlocked so o went to check he’d set his alarm (5am start) and there was messages up, the more I looked the more I found. I had a feeling in my gut there was something happening too . I found out on Valentine’s Day.

I forgot to change my name back ! But I’m not going to be outing particularly and I’m not ashamed of the past we had!

PP explains how I found out.
I found the second time when i was snooping through his phone .

Can I ask, have you gone on to have more children?

(I found out my husband cheated on my about 9 months ago, we have 2 children but as much as I’ve always yearned for a 3rd, I just don’t know if I would ever fully trust him again to have another) - sorry that was just to show my background to confirm I am not being goady

Can I ask, have you gone on to have more child

Yes. I found out I was pregnant with my second just as we were leaving him. So we have two children. I went on to have a miscarriage as well, and we’re planning to try for a 3rd in 2019.

I think you need to fully repair your relationship before another child adds to the strain because it can be enough to break you. It almost was for us .

Thank you unlawful you are very courageous.

Me too. I left and meant it though. I could never move past it, it’s the worst possible betrayal.

Luckystar1

I’m flattered you think so . I have had many feelings about it and courageous was never one one
them.

MelanieSmooter
I guess some people can’t but my second pregnancy was very hard and he was there. It wasn’t plain sailing by any means and it’s never been a fairy tale and neither of us would paint it as so.

In terms of redemption he’s supported me and the children financially for years, he supported me through very severe PND for two years solid and I know now I was horrible. He’s supported me through a miscarriage, death ect.
I see it as people have slip ups his was a HUGE one but we were young(ish) and you live and learn I guess

No questions but good luck to you, hope it works out ok

chicola
Thankyou. It’s a few years ago it happened and we’re going into our 8th year of being together so I’m quietly confident we are going to be ok