I've been teetotal for 10 years - AMA

[SoberAMA]

Ask me anything!

Did you stop fancying a drink at some point?
I've been sober about 22 months and today felt really envious of partners ice cold white wine!

Congratulations on 22 months.

Over time, it's become less something that I want. It helps that I've found soft drinks that I really enjoy, so I can still drink something that hits the spot for my needs. In hot weather like today, pineapple juice and lemonade with lots of ice would be the crisp, cool and refreshing drink I'd want.

I stopped drinking for health reasons, so for me I know that drinking alcohol isn't worth the consequences for me. That helps too.

I've been teetotal for 37 years

*I've been teetotal for 37 years

Brilliant. High five! 😀

Next top trump card... what have you got for strength? I've got Batman and he's rated a 9. 😂

Aww. I only have Top Cat and he's a 1 for strength. I knew I'd bloody peaked too soon

Awwww poor Top Cat. Classy card though. Scores well on Shenanigans.

Was there this famous ‘rock bottom’ or de you see it coming first?

Are you an alcoholic?

I'm not an alcoholic nor did I hit a rock bottom. I stopped drinking completely after realising there was a strong connection between me drinking alcohol and me feeling low for days/weeks/months afterwards.

I accidentally realised this connection after massively reducing my alcohol intake during a calorie controlled diet. I mostly chose food over booze! Apart from a spell after having my child, I've been depression free for the best part of 6 years. Seeing as my first attempt at killing myself was when I was 12 and I'm now late 30s, this is a huge improvement to my life.

I know a fair few other teetotal people and none of them are alcoholics. The reasons I've come across are medical (mental health or inflammatory bowel disease), religious, or lifestyle (to focus on sport or to maximise time on a hobby without a hangover & sleeping in).

@ShowOfHands feel free to answer any of these questions that you like. Top Cat is welcome here.

I wish this was me

@ShowOfHands are you alcoholic?

What helps you stay sober? I have 3 years now and it doesn't occur to me that I'm 'missing out' on something very often at all now. It's just a choice not imposed on me if that makes sense?

@soberama I’m the same, alcohol really affects my mental health. The problem is I keep ‘forgetting’ think I can have one or two and then struggle for a week. Did you one day just decide to stop? Or did you piss around for a while like me? I know I need to stop, it’s jyst hard

Ah, me too, I'm probably 15 years...pretty much all the time I've been legally allowed to drink!

No background issues for me or unpleasant experiences, I just don't like it. It's as if in some places everyone is expected to drink. Not for me!

I always had my car, so didn't when friends began, I travelled backpack style and being not aware of myself when solo travelling or travelling with new people in unusual places is insanely dangerous, I would never let my family see me influenced by alcohol, it's crappy for my body and I'm plenty of fun without it!

I used to have to explain myself when I was a bit younger, now I'm very comfortable saying "not for me thanks" or just doing whatever I want. I look ten years younger than I am and am up for yoga with sunrise (now very trendy rather than hippy weird), so I get less judgement and more "oh, I should do that" comments.

I was once pulled over by the police, not indicting or something and it was 3am on a weekend so I can understand why they might want to check. They asked "When was the last time you had a drink?". I said "Oooooh, I had a taste of a red wine in......2003 I think?" Breathalyser unsurprisingly was zero and they seemed embarrassed, bless.

I stopped drinking about nine years ago in my first pregnancy. I craved a glass of wine the wine time then had it and didn’t like it!

I’m not fully teetotal. I will go for months without drinking and then have a glass of wine at a work function or party. Each time I don’t really enjoy it and just have the one.

I keep reading that people who drink a little live longer so I wonder if us tee-totallers are more uptight or missing something?!

I love that I never feel dreadful after a hangover, and my skin is good, and I have seen a lot of lives dominated and ruined by alcohol that I kind of hate the damn stuff

No. I've never tasted alcohol. I'm 37 years old and the daughter of an alcoholic.

32 years TT so what?

Why is this a thing? I.e. why is it something you feel you need to admit to?

I’ve been more or less teetotal all of my life because I simply don’t like the taste. Now medication and medical conditions mean I can’t drink at all but that is irrelevant to me because I’ve never drank anyway. Recently I had to have a liver scan for other reasons and the sonographer mentioned that you can tell from someone’s liver even if they drink moderately and he could tell I don’t drink at all and never have.

But I have no issue with going into a restaurant and ordering soft drinks and never have. If anyone wants to make something of that it says far more about them than it does about me.

Why is this a thing? I.e. why is it something you feel you need to admit to?

An AMA doesn't have to be about something you 'admit' to. It's an opportunity to ask questions about something in somebody's life that's different from yours and which some might be curious about. If you're not interested, why post?

Do you still get bottles of wine etc. for presents?

I do and I have been TT for about 18 years. Smile and nod. Especially when it comes from family.

Was a combination of factors for me - very susceptible to kidney infection and horror hangovers then TTC for 3 years, pregnancy no. 1, breastfeeding, pregnancy no. 2, breastfeeding then toddler twins plus newborn and a DH with alcohol ‘issues’ so I just never took it back up.

It's a thing because it isn't the norm and irl, I've certainly been grilled, criticised, accused etc. People also like to try and persuade me to drink and when younger, I had drinks spiked by malicious people who judged my choices.

There are also people, as evidenced by this thread, who would like to give up alcohol so perhaps those who have done it can provide perspective.

Good morning.

I wish this was me

In 10 years, it could be. 10 years is just a collection of hours and days put together.

What helps you stay sober?
and
Did you one day just decide to stop? Or did you piss around for a while like me?

I'll answer these together. I did piss around for about 4 years of drinking very occasionally. I wasn't aiming to give up exactly at that point, but every time I did drink I felt so incredibly rubbish afterwards. I would feel low for days or weeks, sometimes more. Every time it happened, it emphasised just how much alcohol didn't suit me. In the end, the message got through to me and I thought "fuck this shit, I'm quitting". It's the memory of the contrast between feeling happy and feeling like life wasn't worth living that keeps me sober.

I'm plenty of fun without it!

I'll meet you on the dancefloor!

32 years TT

Congratulations!

@ShowOfHands sorry to hear about your parent. x

Do you still get bottles of wine etc. for presents?

I did, for years. I also smile and nod. From their perspective, they're giving a lovely gift and I appreciate the sentiment. My husband doesn't drink wine so I pass the bottles on to neighbours or family members. There was a period when I was given low alcohol wine by people, because to them 4% wasn't really alcoholic. That wine was harder to palm off, lol.

I've certainly been grilled, criticised, accused etc.

Same. Some people take it very personally that I don't drink, like I'm judging them and want to ruin their life somehow. It's nothing to do with them. It's my choice for me, and it's right for me. I give zero fucks about their choices. It's nothing to do with me.

I've had drinks spiked by malicious people who judged my choices

Same, again. In my experience, vodka seems to be the drink of choice for them to slip in as they think you won't be able to smell it. I can, and they're surprised. And defensive. "Go on, don't be boring, let your hair down and have some fun!". Was it similar for you?

I am teetotal. Not an alcoholic, just never liked the effects and I hate feeling out of control. I often get given bottles of wine or whisky as gifts and just pass them on. Sometimes when I go to events etc someone will just hand me a glass of champagne without asking! It is a social norm and a social lubricant, you do have to explain why you're not drinking, but I don't miss it.