My mum died (2012) and I bringing up my siblings....DB 11 and DS 8

[yogeybear89]

So I'm 2012 my mum passed (unexpectedly had rare lung disease, never smoked ,never drink and never took drugs!).
DB was 4 and DS was 2 when mum passed, I was 23 with 2 DC ,Which were 3 & 2.5 years old, also my 3 yr old is disabled with rare syndrome(non verbal and mild cerebral palsy)

Ask me anything

Can't think of anything to ask, but hats off to you. That must(and still) have been incredibly difficult.

Are you getting any support?

How are you coping mentally?

Wow, you were only a tad older than I am, I can't imagine dealing with something like that... so many questions...

How come there's such a big age gap?

Was there anyone else to take them? Their/your father?

Did you adopt them or are you their guardian?

Was your DP (if you had one) onboard?

Are you siblings more like (adoptive/foster) children?

What do they call you?

Is it weird that they are so close in age to your DC? Do they all know what happened and who's related to who and how?

Hi, well my mums 2 brothers and 1 sister said they would do this, that and the other!
One of my uncles has stuck to his word and has siblings stay at his house every other weekend and takes them on a caravan holiday every year, which is great for all of us😊
Mentally at first I think shock! Kept me going and the fact my nana was still around too, so still had that mother figure there! But when she passed in 2015 I had a mental breakdown!
Doctor put me on anti depressants had counciling and if it wasn't for all my DC maybe I might not have been here today?!
All said and done now I'm in a happy, proud and amazing place 😁

Does your db call you mum if you took over his care when you were 4?

*Older than you think;
*
Great Qs 👍

I was what you called the "miracle" child as my mum was in a lot of medication through out her childhood with her lung disease, which really lowered her chance of having any children, so when I was conceived mum was happy with just me...

I was a one night stand baby...🙈so I have no idea who my father is?.
Mum then met my siblings dad on internet dating and then comes DB and DS, unfortunately their father is very selfish, inconsiderate and most of deluded!...

I am their SG as their dad did try and fight for them but cause he was in and out of their lives and not consistent, the judge went in my favour as I was in their lives practically everyday..😊

They call me mum...☺️...DS did as she was 2 and just copied off my DD and DS used to actually call my mum "nana"😂...DB called me by my name until about a year ago and he just came out one day and said "mum where my shoes"...which I have to admit was an amazing feeling 😊

The relationship ship between my siblings are a bit of both....I love them as I do my DC but I am also sister too, which is fun and easy once you master a balance..

All of the children know everything that DB & DS are actually my DC aunt and uncle...🙄...but they just tell everyone that they are brother and sister as they say "oh it's complicated to talk about we're brothers and sisters"...😂

Oh sorry I do apologise I got my DC ages wrong at the time...🙈...DD was 2.5 years old and my DSon was 4...because my DB was 4 but turned 5 a month after my mum passed!..🙈

(Is someone chopping onions?)

Shame about their twatty dad but is so great they have wonderful people like you and your uncle.

That's so sweet about DB slipping into calling you mum and at its complicated

I didn't say it before but I'm sorry for your loss.

Older than you think;

Thank you 😊... for your Qs

What an incredibly brave and selfless thing to do, I have no words.

Also- don’t envy you for the teenage years when you’re going to have 4 teenagers in the house (and if my maths is correct, you won’t even be 35?!!)

What a beautiful family set up to come out of tragedy and a tatty biological dad.
Do you have support from a partner, or are you a single mum?

I'm a single mum and love it to be honest...😆...my DC father is a great dad to DC and to DB & DS, But was a useless partner unfortunately..😕..very amicable and civil relationship though after all-all the DC have been through so so much and DSon is disabled too.

Oh the teenage years...😫...especially with the girls...😳...any advice anyone?....to be honest I'm actually more worried about DB as I have no idea?!...what to expect with teenage boys?!....with me obviously been a woman I know how girls become at that age....but have no idea with boys?!....😕

Wow
Hats off to you
Possibly single most admirable parent I've come across on MN.
Much love to you and your brood.
Bravo