I'm HIV positive AMA

[HIVpos]

Although most MNers seem to know this stuff, I keep on seeing incorrect info posted (a few days ago it was something about HIV taking 18 months to show up on tests - so untrue!!!)

Anyway - my "coming out" post from last year is here if anyone is interested www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2942589-Getting-back-in-the-saddle-and-HIV

So smellmybeads you're not willing to change your views based on scientific evidence? Not very scientific.....

And I won't go away. I'm generally fairly shy and unconfrontational in general but as a "HF" autistic person when I see BS I'm going to call it out.

Feck sake. For such an educated person can you not get from my last 3 posts that I'm very open to be swayed. I've never heard of a person that wouldn't have the possibility to transfer HIV once infected. As I said I'll read on. Thank you.

Not you @name. I wasn't telling you to go away. I was talking to the brain box 'user...'

I don’t think we have portrayed it as flowery. I have made the point the I still find life difficult - mostly due to ignorant people and not knowing what reaction I’m going to get when I tell people. Namechange has been diagnosed for much longer and has learnt to live well with it, having 2 healthy kids along the way. Basically living life

@HIV I respect that and your post has most definitely opened my eyes.

There's so much unnecessary stigma attached to HIV. I work in healthcare and I am more likely to die from contracting flu or Hepatitis than HIV.

I wish you a full and happy life OP xx

Thank you. I suggest you read the link I posted to the partner study.

It might be worth pointing out that you can’t catch HIV from kissing, hugging, sharing utensils, sipping each other’s cocktails, using someone’s toothbrush etc.

Even when not on treatment and potentially infectious, HIV is not infectious in saliva, sweat or tears, or outside the body unless in a vacuum (like a syringe).

Thank you very much for this thread OP- it has really opened my eyes. As a heterosexual, married woman in her 30’s, I naively assumes I was out of the ‘danger zone’ for catching HIV/other STI’s but it’s really opened my eyes up to the importance of getting tested regardless of your age and who you’re sleeping with. I also had no idea about the advances in preventative treatment like the PrEP pill so am off to have a read about that.

My question to you is- what has been the worst reaction you’ve faced when telling people about your diagnosis?

Ty smellmybeads, I tend to overreact!

Thank you winter. Yes it’s weird how there’s more stigma to HIV than Hepatitis. I was chatting to a nurse once who mentioned the TB patients she cared for and how that can potentially be infectious

Smell I suggest you educate yourself better. OP has posted links that you should read and take note of.

POS and name thank you for trying to educate people.

I haven’t actually had any particularly bad reactions tbh, but have heard of several people who have. There was the person who was admitted to hospital last year with flu and was put in an isolation ward. Some people who have their status up on Grindr get some pretty nasty messages.

I do wonder sometimes if the fear of stigma is worse than stigma itself, but then perhaps I’ve been lucky

I think a lot of it is ignorance and fear. I still see things like 'hiv patient, see at the end of the day' etc on notes and it irks me, especially as I'm sure that loads pass through the clinic undisclosed and undiagnosed.

Thank you to all the posters and for the support - much appreciated.

Btw I’m also happy to answer any PMs if anyone doesn’t want to post on here.

winter I hope none of the patients get to see those notes as this is discrimination and legal action could be taken.

True - there are approximately 10,000 people undiagnosed with HIV in England.

If they are only looking for a hookup then there is not need to disclose – not in England anyway.

Could you explain what you mean by this? I don’t quite follow.

Op

I’m so sorry if my post offended you. When I saw your thread I looked online to see how you get it. But I could not see how the virus started. I could only see through mixing bodily fluids.

I can assure you my question was genuine and now I asked my husband where it all started and I won’t actually repeat what he said because I don’t know if it is correct or not.

Thank you for sharing your story.

I don’t think they talk about HIV in schools today and they certainly didn’t when I went to school. So I’ve never been educated on it

Hi can I ask some more questions? Thanks for this thread, it's really interesting and informative.

It's incredible how far HIV medicine has come so quickly. Why has HIV research progressed so fast compared to other areas? By attracting lots of money, or being interesting and high status and attracting skilled researchers, or has it been easier to create treatments than initially expected? Or other reasons?

Can I ask please does AIDS still actually exist? I'm assuming it must do in the third world but does it still exist say in UK? Would it be possible for someone to not be tested and lead a chaotic lifestyle, maybe a person who is homeless and an IV drug user, and to develop AIDS?
My horrendous memory and experience of HIV and AIDS is from the mid 80's and that memory is hard to forget
I'd really hope there is so much less stigma as many young people have little awareness of what HIV used to entail
Thanks for this post

AIDS still very much exists, HIV is the virus that leads onto Aids if you never get treated ( perhaps because of the example you gave ) it’s not very common to die of Aids in the UK now though thankfully.

Do you know anything about treating HIV in the elderly? Can the viral load usually be kept low until the person dies of unrelated causes?

Sorry possibly a morbid question to ask, please ignore if you want to

Battleax this explains it the best:
www.tht.org.uk/hiv-and-sexual-health/living-well-hiv/legal-issues/how-law-works
Infecting someone intentionally by knowing and not being on meds and not disclosing is regarded as GBH. So basically in England/Wales if you can't infect someone because you have an undetectable viral load, and you only want a hookup (a term I learnt only recently from dating appsone night stand - then you don't need to tell. In Scotland the rules are stricter, but it would be interesting how that would play out in court if someone who is UD has unprotected sex without disclosing - as there is effectively no risk.
The rules are there because of the irresponsible ones like Daryl Rowe who infected people deliberately and was given a life sentence in April.

So in reality there is the moral POV and the legal POV.

Mellie no you didn't offend me - I read some of your other posts and although opinionated, I don't think you are in the habit of offending people. Just badly worded perhaps?

I would bet your DH said HIV was started from having sex with monkeys

There are some differences of opinion, but yes, it did start with them - chimps to be more exact for those with HIV-1 (most of us) and mangabey monkeys for HIV-2 (more prevalent in parts of West Africa, slower progressing and not as infectious)

Here's some homework for anyone interested in reading further
www.avert.org/professionals/history-hiv-aids/origin