I'm a SAHM - ask me anything

[kaytee87]

Didn't see one already so thought I'd be brave

Are you as bored as me?! (also a stay at home Mum!)

I'm not usually bored but as it's the holidays here all of the toddlers groups are off and I usually go to the local one twice a week, so I'm at a bit of a loose end just now. We've been playing in the garden a lot and going for walks, he also goes to nursery on a Friday so that helps.

What did you do pre dc? How do you find people react when you tell them you're a SAHM?

I was in a specialist sector of HR.
Well being a sahm wasn't really a choice tbh, I was made redundant just before I was returning from maternity leave then a few months later injured myself badly (waiting for second op).
I've found I absolutely love being at home with my DS though and would only go back to work if it was very part time and something I was interested in.

I've had one friend say 'so what are you going to do then? Just nothing'

Tbh I only really see negativity on here though and I usually just stay off those threads.

What are your plans for when your DC are school age, will you return to work even part time?

Do you ever worry about future finances, pension etc or career impact if you ever decided to go back?

I was a SAHM myself for 4 years but went back at school age as I wanted to continue my career. I was also concerned about what I'd do if something happened in my relationship with my DH and I had no job to support myself by. I think I've just read too many very sad stories on MN to take the risk of not having my own independent income.

Not meant to be hostile questions, just interested in your take.

Watching with interest.

Brave u!

Do you really feel money coming in is both of yours equally? If you wanted to spend a large amount on a frivolous item, would you run it past your husband first?

Also does your husband mind being the sole breadwinner, does he feel an increased pressure?

No questions just loads of respect. It's not something I could ever do and I have the utmost respect for those that do.

Have you been one as long as me ..20 years

Do you feel appreciated in your household? Do u get help in housework ? How do you buy yourself things ?

How does it work when you want to buy your dh a birthday or Christmas present?

*What are your plans for when your DC are school age, will you return to work even part time?

Do you ever worry about future finances, pension etc or career impact if you ever decided to go back?*

I probably will return part time. Not worried about finances, I have a pension and take 40% shares from my husbands company. I also have a very wealthy family and we have savings, 50% equity in the house. I keep my IT skills up to date by doing bookkeeping /admin for my husband.

Do you really feel money coming in is both of yours equally? If you wanted to spend a large amount on a frivolous item, would you run it past your husband first?

Yes, I feel it's equal. 40% of his company's shares are in my name. What do you class as large amount? I recently bought new bedroom furniture (around 3k) and new suite (around 3k) and consulted him, more for his opinion than money. I would spend a few hundred without thinking of saying anything to him though and he would do the same.

Also does your husband mind being the sole breadwinner, does he feel an increased pressure?

If he does, he's never mentioned it.

Do you feel appreciated in your household? Do u get help in housework ? How do you buy yourself things ?

Yes I feel appreciated and loved. My DH will do any household things he sees need done but my toddler naps for 2 hours a day and goes to nursery once a week so I'm generally on top of things. We used to have a cleaner but I actually prefer doing it myself now as she was always late etc.

Buy myself or my husband things with money from my account. My DH pays me shares so I use that. We also have a joint current account and joint savings account that I have access to.

Have you been one as long as me ..20 years

No, my son is just about to turn 2 and I finished maternity leave when he turned 1.

I'm a SAHM too. Glad you started this thread OP, thanks.

Do you do most of the cooking in your household? How do you keep yourself motivated? This is the one part of being at home that I find really tough. I always assumed before it was a lack of time stopping me from producing delicious meals that my dc would eat.

Not the case apparently...

When my ds was a baby my DH still did all of the cooking (he always did before) I've gradually started doing more cooking though and do most now. My DH does the food shopping and we meal plan together.
My ds isn't overly fussy (yet), I just make things I know he'll eat so we have probably 10 meals that we rotate and if DH and I want something fancier he'll make it while I'm putting ds to bed.

Summersnake Me too. 20 years and still love it. My youngest is 5, 4 children altogether

I've found I absolutely love being at home with my DS though

Would you mind expanding on this a little?

Also did you work before?

What were your education and career aspiration plans before baby?

I've found I absolutely love being at home with my DS though

*Would you mind expanding on this a little?

Also did you work before?

What were your education and career aspiration plans before baby?*

I'm not sure what you mean? I love spending so much time with him, teaching him things, playing with him etc. Is that what you meant?

I've answered the others upthread I was leading a small team in a specialised sector in HR.

I'll maybe expand some more. I love our wee routine, he's a happy wee toddler (most of the time) and so so funny, he gives me so much joy and fulfilment. My mum only works 2 days a week, mil only works mornings and SIL has 2 days off during the week so if I'm lonely there's always someone I can see. Have also got a couple of friends who either sah or are part time.
Obviously i don't literally stay in the house with him Monday's we have a class, Tuesdays toddlers, Wednesdays see sil and nephew, thursdays toddlers and Fridays he's in nursery. Also see my mum a couple of times a week.
DH is home at 4/4.30 every day and works from home sometimes. We have a happy life on the whole.
I'll be much happier when my ankle is prepared properly though as I spend a lot of time in pain and have a slight limp!

Repaired *