I'm three weeks into the school holidays already AMA

[RelentlessSylvia]

Suggested queries: do I have any sanity left? How filthy is the house? How sick are the kids of visits to the local library?

I'm three weeks in too. We're all bored shitless, so I'm going to ask what have you done so far, so that I can steal some ideas.

Also, are your kids looking for food constantly?

Do you still want more children OP?

The summer holidays does not one broody make

I am 6 weeks in.....

I am the opposite of broody. If society didn't frown on it, I'd be posting the children I already have on gumtree and running off to a desert island.

Things we have done already: library (x 328 visits), local cafe, beach, park, pretending Tesco is a fun trip out, swimming pool (human soup, would not recommend), trying to interest kids in gardening, trying to interest kids in vacuuming, trying to interest kids in putting laundry away, recreational visit to the carwash, throwing money at Smyth's Toy Superstore in the hope of buying myself two hours of peace and quiet, trying to interest the kids in cleaning the bathroom, looking at Facebook friends all enjoying themselves in France, California, the Dalmatian coast etc/trying to interest the kids in having a nap.

Kids are not looking for food constantly but I am foisting snacks on them every 26 seconds in an effort to forestall bored whinging.

Six weeks in here too

HERE YOU GO DARLING HAVE SOME MORE MONSTER MUNCH

How much alcohol have you drunk?

You sound like my kinda gal @RelentlessSylvia

Can you print off some mazes for them?

Get the sticking and glueing out

Play dough

Nail varnish & old make up that you will never use (that garish blush from great aunt maggie?)

Chalk for the pavement outside of the house?

Get them to wash the car/garage door/ each other

Go onto Timeout online for free stuff to do with the sprog

Thanks, teaaddict.

Those sound like good ideas and better than submerging in a bath of gin, tempting though it is.

Can't you just leave them to amuse themselves whilst you go about your daily routine/Mumsnet?

I am actually 7 weeks in with one child, and 3 weeks in with the other two. We have 8 weeks to go.

TBF the one who has been home longest can both drive and has a job, so if anything she is quite helpful - although she is still a teenager with all that that entails.

However I am the master of the universe at the moment, as I managed to fob two of them off on sleepovers yesterday, and today one of them is at the beach with a friend, another has just asked for a ride to a friend's and the third is at work.

Anyway, my question for a fellow suffering parent. Is 1pm too early to start drinking?

Also, it is OK if children eat dog hair, yes?

Where are those of you who are 6 weeks in!?

Dog hair counts as ruffage, an essential part of a child's diet. Cat fur likewise.

1pm is fine for drinking so long as you don't intend to operate heavy machinery such as a car, hair straighteners or a Fisher Price jumperoo.

Two of my kids are autistic. I'm laughing hollowly at the notion of just ignoring them and hoping they self-entertain. I envy my mum. She just turfed us out into the street at 9am and expected to see us again at lunchtime.

Where are those of you who are 6 weeks in!?

I'm in the US, but one of my children is at a boarding school so they have a different summer schedule to the others.

RelentlessSylvia Your post made me laugh, but also you have my immense respect - the summer holidays can't be easy.

We're just moving this over to our AMA topic.

Don't post them on gumtree op. You will get pennies.
You spent years hand making them, post them on Etsy for a proper price

oo there's an AMA topic? I didn't realise.

I'm in the Middle East - we couldn't travel this summer as I lost my passport (long story) so I'm stuck here till mid August when I can escape the 50 degree heat. The kids have been fine to be fair. However I live in a dry country so not a drop of alcohol to ease it.

Mid 50 heat? I'm struggling with 24! What happens if you go outside, do your eyeballs start sizzling? How are you alive? How do you not die? Just, wow. Kudos.