My children have all attended private school on a full bursary AMA

[Sienna57]

I see lots of threads on here with people asking for information on the bursary system. Having put four children through private school for more or less free, I know the system pretty well, ama.

@carebea I would start by looking at what private schools are local to you. Have a look on their website, usually under the 'fees' section there will be information on applying for financial assistance. All schools are different, some offer assistance from age 5, others will not offer assistance until age 12/13.

Once you have a short list of schools phone up and arrange a visit, do not mention that you will be applying for a bursary. All schools have different entry requirements, the younger the child the easier it is to meet the requirements, so ideally get them in as young as possible.

For most schools the entry process will start in the September for entry the following year. More prestigious schools will begin even earlier. When I have went to visit schools I always research the school fully, dress in business dress and make sure I talk well, shake hands on meeting everyone etc.

Most schools will invite your child in for a trial day. This can be tricky as all my children came home from their trial desperate to go. Obviously I couldn't tell them they could go and I did feel bad, like I was selling them a dream which was unrealistic. I dealt with it by telling them that I wasn't sure the school was completely right for them because of A,B,C, but said we would work out what was best. Next you have to register your child for the school, this is were you are usually first asked about applying for a bursary. Registration usually costs anything between £50 to £250.

You will then be sent out an bursary application. They can be daunting to fill out, but the best thing to do is fill it out as soon as you get it. It will ask things about household income, expenditure, assets etc. With expenditure include absolutely everything that you send money on. Even clubs which maybe cost £5 a week.

Your child will probably have to take the entry test before you know if you will get a bursary. Again, this can be tough, but I told them I still wasn't sure on the school but sitting exams gives good practise for the future. With one of my DC school I got a letter saying they had passed all entry requirements, and had been offered a place but had to wait another 3 weeks to find out if they had the bursary. I just didn't tell them they had passed.

One school offered 80% bursary at first which I accepted. I knew it would be tough paying the 20% fees but I was desperate to get them in. After a few months I was really struggling so I emailed the bursar and explained, he increased the bursary to 100% just like that. I really didn't expect that.

Another poster above said about children interviewing well, I completely agree with this. All my children have excellent communication skills and this has always been commented on at interviews. Make sure they know to look adults in the eye, shake hands on arrival and ask questions. They will usually asked why they think the school is right for them. I usually give them a few reasons why before hand.

Private schools love children who are effective leaders and will usually have some form of leadership game as part of their entry process. Make sure that children know that being a leader is about putting your point across but also listening to others. If they do a sport/music/art make sure the school knows about this, if possible brush up on skills before entry assessments.

If you don't meet the head as part of your visit to the school, phone up and ask for an appointment with them. Two of my children attend a very prestigious school and parents do not generally get to have a personal meeting with him. After my visit I phoned the school and asked for a meeting with him. His receptionist tried to fob me off but and it took three weeks but I eventually got an appointment with him. I sat and had a coffee with him and told him I was applying for a bursary and why I thought my children could benefit from the education the school offers. I also explained what the child would bring to the school. I think he maybe thought I was a bit mad, but at the end of the meeting he told me that although he couldn't interfere with the bursary application or process he would try his uttermost to offer them a place. At the very worst a meeting with the head shows your commitment to the school, your children education and they will hopefully remember you.

In my mind schools get more applications for bursaries than they can pay out. You need to find a reason for them to pick your child, keeping in regular contact, making it clear how very much you want you child to go there etc all help.

One child is exceptional at sport, although she was average at sport when I applied and the school made her exceptional.

The rest are sporty but not exceptional, but they do play for the first teams and represent the school.

Before private school all had received learning support at local primary so definitely not natural academics. All had around six months of tutoring. I also ordered common entrance past papers and used youtube videos to help me teach them verbal and non-verbal reasoning.

I was told by local primary that one DC would always struggle at school and I should just accept that school wasn't for them. Five years of private school and they obtained A's/B in GCSE and are doing well at A-level.

I have twins and have tried for bursary - I have (twice) been offered 50% for each (so effectively only paying one full fee) but even this is not affordable on my salary. I am not sure how I can try to get more from the school - i wonder if applying for two means they are "sharing" the family bursary between the two children? Any ideas? (thought about splitting them but currently too young to split really, although might do so at 11/13)

I own my house and have a reasonable amount of equity. It has never been suggested that I sell the house to pay for fees. I think if you own more than one house then it would be though, but that should be expected.

I am a single parent, father has no interest in their schooling, has been in jail and left school at 14 himself.

MrsPepperpot79 - Have you tried twice from the same school? if so I would try another school.

If you're not successful it might be best to split them although you shouldn't have to if you have a low income. I would who the bursar and ask why you have only been offered 50% in a non confrontational way. Explain that on a 50% bursary the education is not affordable to you ask if there is any room for negotiation, there usually is, people just don't ask.

Not in my opinion. I have had bursaries from a very small school and also a large prestigious school. I think the key is perseverance, if there are 50 applications and you are the only one phoning every week then in my opinion you're more likely to be successful.

I would phone when I sent the application in, to let them know it was on its way. Phone a week later to make sure they received it, phone a few weeks later to ask if they required any more information. Leave it a few weeks and then phone and ask if there was any updates and when I should expect to hear. Explain I was sorry for phoning a lot but child was very keen to come and kept asking me to phone.

Sienna I think your commitment to your children and their education is moving and really inspirational. You’ve really got me thinking. Thank you for this thread!

Sienna57 please could I pm you? My circumstances are too individual to post on here and would out me but I have some questions for you if you wouldn't mind.

@Oscha thank you. I was poorly educated myself and I feel it contributed to a lot of negative life choices I made. I was never once told I could go to university or get a good job. The private education they have received has literally changed their life. I would definitely recommend trying, regardless of your circumstances.

@Wontbeusingmyparcelagain Yes no problem, I have had a few PM's and have tried to help as much as I can. I will get back to you as soon as possible but have to leave for work shortly.

Could you say how much your house is worth roughly

@Sienna57 I have read this thread with interest - I had a 25% bursary for DD at primary school but after that she was at grammar school and anyway I was earning too much. However, I've had a couple of lean years and she's been awarded a full
University bursary - when I say "full" I think it's about £2,500 over the year and she still has the maintenance loan etc. Just checking that your eldest gets that too - I'm sure you're completely on top of all that!

Wow inspirational thank you for this thread OP.

Thank you for your response! No, two different schools - interesting that both offered the same (and on lower income than yours). I suspect they also include my partner in their consideration, despite fact he does not pay towards step children. Ah well, will keep trying!

Our experience was slightly different but we too have managed to get all our children into private schools on full or almost full bursaries. Our income is low and we only have a small amount of equity. In our case all our children excel academically and also in one creative field, so they ended up with scholarships (academic and creative) as well as a bursary. The scholarships were not worth very much or were honorary but I think they were another reason why the school were keen to have the DC. Schools are always looking for children who will make them look good in some way by their achievements, and many of them are also keen to help children with opportunities they would not otherwise have. A child who works hard and makes the most of the opportunities available to them will always be attractive.

One thing we did was to ask for a copy of the bursary form before we applied, to see what questions they asked because every school is different. The first time, the bursar offered for us to fill it in and they would give us a rough non-binding amount of how much we would get if the DC passed the exam. This helped us because we did not want to put the DC though an exam if there was no chance of them going there.

I also know of a number of children who are fairly average academically going on bursaries to a private school, and also of bursars being open to negotiation if the amount that they offer you is not enough. If you get an offer that you think is going it be too low for you to afford it is always worth asking for a meeting with the bursar to see if there is more money in the pot.

Our DC don't get to go on any expensive school trips but they knew this before they started. Often one school trip is the same as our summer holiday budget for the whole family. There are always other people in the same boat who are struggling to pay fees so our children have not felt excluded because they are not well-off. They do sometimes struggle with seeing some friends have much more than them - but then they have also been on holiday with them to their holiday houses abroad, or gone swimming in their swimming pools, so they have benefited.

If your child is unhappy or has potential that seems unlikely to be unrealised, I think it is always worth checking out private education and the bursary system. I'm glad you started this thread, Sienna57.

My sons prep offered 50% and in addition his public school offered 50%. I took a big gamble that I believed I could obtain the bursary at prep even though a lot of people said there was no chance. My sons prep was very very affluent less than 1 child per year on a bursary so gambled and won.
I knew if I got him a bursary the head would help with a bursary at public school level and he did - it helped that I worked on having a great relationship with the head.
My son is very average academically and wasn’t good enough for a sports drama anything award I have a couple of rental properties but have never been asked to sell them for the fees.
I believe it is tenacity determination and identifying the right school that may give you a bursary. I could now identify those schools - in my opinion the more respected schools will help more and sometimes the less respected are not worth having.
Op you are really lucky to be offered 100% in my research 50% was the norm.
Well done ! Your children must be very proud

Poor kids

We have a private school (secondary) in my town ( only private school here). It is extremely popular for bursaries so much so that if your child is average they wouldn't get any bursary.

Everyone sits the entrance exams. All the bursary applying kids' marks are put in order from highest to lowest. Then the child with the highest mark gets full/ a percentage of bursary. Then the next child etc till the money runs out. So if you have an average child there would be no chance.

Is this how most bursaries work?

Also, i would be willing to send my child out of town but don't know what schools are out there. Is there a website that lists all private schools?

Hi OP are you in London/ south east? I tried to get one for my son but was only offer 20% which I could not afford.

Why poor kids lotus?

Have you been to private school? As someone who attended them, and has taught in both state and private, I wouldn't be calling them poor.

my son has just finished year 7. I think that year 9 is an intake year for many schools? Have I left it too late to think about applying?

tedx "Is this how most bursaries work?"

Short answer: no. Some schools look most closely at exam result, others put weight on interview or taster day, or more generally what the prospective pupil might bring to the school, which might be music, art, sport, drama or some other field of achievement.

So I suppose that's also 'yes' because the people awarding the bursaries will work out who they think would most benefit from what the school offers, and who will contribute to the life of the school most positively.

If/when you are thinking of applying, it might be worth asking on the education boards about the school/s you have in mind. Because there are quite a few posters who know the sector or some specific schools well. And it is all about the individual schools, their ethos and what they value.

And of course, how much money they tend to have in the bursary pot. IME, older schools tend to have more (investments and endowments which have benefited from decades/centuries of compound interest often have more to spend even in tougher economic circumstances when returns on investments are low)

tedx that's how some schools I know work but definitely not all - that is, the bursary is means tested but given out in order of merit. Great if you are poor and your child is clever, not so great if you are on the borderline of paying the fees and your child is not particularly academic. I think it probably fair enough from the school's point of view, enabling bright children who would not otherwise have any of the advantages of a private education to go there but as always, mostly benefiting the clever but poor sharp-elbowed middle classes who know about these things.

I'd love to see more of a mix of social class at private schools, which is why I like this thread. Parents won't apply if they don't know about bursaries. (I'm always banging on about how it can be cheaper to go to Oxbridge than other universities, for the same reason. Everyone I tell in RL is always surprised to hear that.)

If the oldest child receives a school place and bursary, would this make any difference to a future application for younger siblings?

Not in our case, quangot, although some schools might cap it. Every school seems to have a different policy, but we have found them all fairly happy to be open about how they calculate the bursaries.

How do you cover all the extra costs of private schools? My experience is so much extra has to be paid for this state school: specific uniform (including PE kit), school books and jitters, trips and days out etc. Or has then not been the case?