I'm six months sober - Ask me anything

[notfallingover]

It's my anniversary today - fire away!

Don't want to ask you anything (sorry).

Just wanted to say that's brilliant and to wish you an amazing future.

I would like to ask whether you seeked help of your own accord or someone else encouraged you?

Well done on such a huge achievement!

How has your life changed?

Congrats! Well done. The first year is the hardest. Date of my last drink was 30 March 1994.

Thank you @PissedOffWoman I feel very happy today!

I would like to ask whether you seeked help of your own accord or someone else encouraged you?

I've known for a few years I had to stop, but it's also taken me that long to actually do it. I haven't sought any external support such as AA or counselling, but I don't rule it out in the future.
I read Blackout by Sarah Hepola about a year ago and it had a massive impact on me. I was uncomfortably familiar with a lot of the situations she described. I've also read other books that resonate, which I think has pushed the message into my brain that I'm not alone in my self-destruction and it is possible to do something about it.

Well done on such a huge achievement! How has your life changed?

Thank you!
SLEEP has been incredible. Waking up and actually feeling rested is something I don't think I've ever experienced before. I used to stay up late, drinking wine and watching rubbish tv or embarrassing myself online before passing out/blacking out in the early hours of the morning. Trying to function a few hours later to get children to school and then get to work left me in a permanent state of exhaustion. It was a constant cycle of awful behavior I allowed myself to be triggered into repeating all the time.

I also think I'm a much nicer person. I'm learning to get to know myself pretty much from scratch and it's terrifying, but I'm calmer and I communicate with those around me in a way I never have before. If I shout now my kids look genuinely shocked - 6 months ago they wouldn't have batted an eyelid.

@MissConductUS Wow - that's fantastic. Do you still consider yourself a drinker? I definitely do, and I think it will always be part of my identity, I'm just realising how spectacularly bad I was at it.
6 months have been liberating, but also hard. A trigger or desire to pour a glass of wine flies at me from out of nowhere and it takes a huge amount of effort to ride it out. I don't think that will ever go away.

@notfallingover
Thank you for answering my question. You have done so well to help yourself to stop.

Can I ask how much you were drinking?

@MellowMelly
An average week would be a bottle of red every weeknight (except Monday - see below), double that on Saturday & Sunday plus weekend beers, gins and brandy. I am now officially rubbish to buy presents for!

I also had 'rules'. No drinking on a Monday night made me feel like I was in control of my drinking. I never opened a bottle until the children were in bed - I grew up with an alcoholic parent and hated seeing grown ups drinking in any environment (I know, I know). I would also rarely drink if I was out with most friends, most family or at school/work events - I'd just rush to get home and get stuck in.

The occasions I would go out and go for it would be when I was with my husband and/or really close friends, reverting to how I'd behaved in my pre-child years and justifying it on the grounds that it was a 'special occasion'. The reality was I was no longer young and carefree, invariably being a massive tw*t, spending huge amounts of money and remembering very little the next day...

So a massive lifestyle change! I could imagine that was taking a massive chunk out of your income so your purse must be slightly heavier now!

@mellowmelly in theory yes but I don't yet feel any richer (or slimmer).

OP, I don't consider myself a drinker and haven't missed it a bit in many, many years.

Please consider finding a support group of some sort. There is strength and wisdom in numbers. You should also have a quick check up with your doctor and get all this into your medical history.