Im a trailing spouse AMA

[Daftenough22]

Im a trailing spouse, ask me anything.

[Clionba]

I have no idea what a trailing spouse is. Can you explain?

[NotNachoing]

1. What sort of trailing spouse (finance/diplomatic/oil & gas/education etc)?

1. What happens if you want to divorce (not if he does, because he'll be fine if he's the one with a good job)?

1. How long have you been the TS for?

1. How many international moves have you made?

1. Does your DH understand that while you've probably gained a lot from this experience, you've likely also sacrificed a lot for him and his career?

(Background: been one too.)

[NotNachoing]

Trailing spouse is where you move around the world for your spouse's high flying career.

[PickUpStep]

Is it worth it?

[Daftenough22]

I think Wikipedia sum
It up well
The term trailing spouse is used to describe a person who follows his or her life partner to another city because of a work assignment. The term is often associated with people involved in an expatriate assignment but is also used by academia on domestic assignments.

In our case we are expats, my husbands work projects usually last 2-4 years and we move and start all over again after each one.

[Daftenough22]

He's diplomatic,
Yes it's worth it but hard, usually places you think will be easy turn out not to be so and vice versa.

[Daftenough22]

I've been doing it for about 12 years, but had breaks between back in the UK.
He gets I've sacrificed my career to support his and this way of living.

[JacintaJones]

Are you happy?

[Daftenough22]

Yes, I am, there have been periods where I've been quite down previously when our kids were very young and we had to live in a gated community that was very hard.
I've met some amazing people though and been fortunate to experience things I would never have come across if I'd never moved.

[MorrisDancingViv]

Best and worst countries, and why?

[OlennasWimple]

How many different places have you lived? Which were your favourites / least favourites?

(I'm a rooky trailing spouse - I don't think I'm cut out for it...)

[Daftenough22]

Best probably Switzerland, beautiful scenery, high standard of living and always something to do, close enough for family to visit.
Worst possibly Nigeria, but mostly due to compound living not the people.

[Daftenough22]

Ive lived in five different places, other than the UK, however one was pre trailing spouse situation and part of my Uni course.

[qumquat]

Do you get resentful?

[IrmaTooth]

Why, OP? I can’t imagine living a life that was dictated by someone else’s professional life.

[Girlgoneglobal]

Me too OP! And for the same reason.
I'm really happy where we are at the moment but that hasn't always been the case. Getting a job pulled me out of a really low patch. But it can be tough - and while the highs are high the lows can be really low.

For those who asked why I sacrificed my career: well I get to travel the world, meet an amazing variety of people and do things I would never have the opportunity to experience otherwise.

My goal was always to live overseas it's just the strategy to get there wasn't what I expected.

Plus being a TS in balance (for me) is still worth it - although it's had its moments. If it wasn't then we would pack up and go home. But every single person I know at home/works for the centre says stay out for as long as you can right now and that's our plan.

Happy and safe travels OP!