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AMA

I’m a mum of a child with cancer - AMA

54 replies

GoJetterGirl · 12/07/2018 11:23

Just that,

I’m a mum to a lovely little boy with cancer, over the past few years I have found myself answering questions that people can’t feel that they can/should ask and have encountered a lot of myths about childhood cancer, so, ask me anything....

OP posts:
GoJetterGirl · 12/07/2018 15:08

I should add, it took 16 gp appointments, one emergency admission to hospital and an X-ray, which led to a referral that took 8 months, a CT AND and MRI followed by a biopsy to diagnose DS, and all this time my poor boy was getting sicker by the day, in that time it had metastecised, and that’s why we find ourselves here today :(

OP posts:
Urbanbeetler · 12/07/2018 15:10

That’s terrifying.

Helloflamingogo · 12/07/2018 15:14

Flowers can only imagine what you’re going through.

Clic are amazing, I had a clic social worker at 21 and they were fantastic.

mishfish · 12/07/2018 15:46

I’m so sorry you’re going through this OP. My clic social worked was amazing and they’re an amazing charity

GlitteryFluff · 12/07/2018 16:22

I don't have any questions but I wanted to say thank you for answering these. I'm so sorry to read about your little boy. And I'm so sorry it took all that time to get diagnosed. Thanks

GoJetterGirl · 12/07/2018 16:23

I agree, Clic are amazing, their support throughout has helped reassure DH and I that the choices we have had to make for DS have been the right ones

OP posts:
ChannellingFlop · 12/07/2018 18:18

My dear nephew died of osteosarcoma when he was 12. Clic really supported my sister.
May I ask what cancer he has?

littledinaco · 12/07/2018 18:29

That’s awful you got dismissed. Have you been back to your GP since? If so, what did they say?

mishfish · 12/07/2018 18:30

@channeling I had Osteosarcoma. So sorry for your loss Flowers

Helloflamingogo · 12/07/2018 22:29

Flowers channelling (and mish, we’ve met already) osteosarcoma is a bastard.

TillyMint81 · 14/07/2018 07:52

Thank you for posting this. I can't imagine how tough this must be for you. Your strength is incredible. What supper do you, as a mother, get? Is there anyone who can see when you are struggling and steps in for a short while so you can regroup?
What has been the most surprising thing you've encountered along the way.
How do you manage your anger at the doctors who made the diagnosis so drawn out?
Hope these aren't insensitive questions. Ignore them if they are.

GoJetterGirl · 14/07/2018 08:40

*Thank you for posting this. I can't imagine how tough this must be for you. Your strength is incredible.

What supper do you, as a mother, get?

Literally whatever I can lay my hands on, as I said upthread, I take things like pot noodles, cup a soup etc, but largely I don’t get to eat until DS is safely asleep and won’t ‘miss’ me.

Is there anyone who can see when you are struggling and steps in for a short while so you can regroup?

We have a great Clic worker and an outreach nurse who can offer services such as home visits, counselling (yes, a lot of parents in my position are traumatised and end up needing therapy)

What has been the most surprising thing you've encountered along the way.

The sheer number of children diagnosed each week, 1 in every 285 children will have a diagnosis of cancer.

The fact that only £3 in every £100 donated to cancer research provides funding for research into childhood cancer treatment.

But most of all, the support from people you would never have met or become friends with if it wasn’t for my child’s diagnosis, to not sound cliche, “cancer makes friends strangers, and strangers friends” regrettably, DH and I have realised who is and who isn’t supportive protective factors in our lives and situation.
How do you manage your anger at the doctors who made the diagnosis so drawn out?

I blame lack of funding and training. 9/10 parents I have met whose child had a diagnosis of lukaemia were investigated for child abuse/neglect due to the bruising and weight loss that it presents with, GPS and physicians very often opt for the most obvious cause, in my sons case he presenting with severe swelling of a limb that on the face of things looked like he had fractured it, he woke up in discomfort and swollen, I took him to A&E, I couldn’t explain how his limb ended up in that condition, so naturally they assumed child abuse. It was only when they xrayed him that it because apparent there was a deeper problem, from that they assumed severe infection of the bone.

Hope these aren't insensitive questions. Ignore them if they are.

Not at all, parents in my position want to be asked questions, if one reader of this thread ends up (hopefully never) seeing the combination of symptoms that present in childhood cancer and gets their child diagnosed sooner, then it’s worth being asked every question you can think of. It’s too late for my DS, but hopefully his story can help save others.

OP posts:
GoJetterGirl · 14/07/2018 08:44

May I ask what cancer he has?

At risk of outing myself, this type of cancer doesn’t occur usually in children his age, DS has Ewing’s

OP posts:
Patchworkflock · 14/07/2018 08:47

GoJetterGirl - thank you for this thread.

Sounds like your DS has been dealt a terrible hand with his prognosis but my goodness an absolutely cracking one with his parents. Much love to you all.

MrsMozart · 14/07/2018 08:50

No questions lass. Just hugs and handholds.

I hope you get as many days as possible playing trains and visiting the park.

bobstersmum · 14/07/2018 08:56

You are amazing. Nothing to add or ask, but I want to send love to you, your ds and your dp. X

gendercritter · 14/07/2018 10:20

No questions, I just wanted to say how desperately sorry I am for you. How unfair life is sometimes.

TillyMint81 · 14/07/2018 22:49

I'm so sorry typo. I meant what support do you get 🙈

lastnightidreamtofpotatoes · 15/07/2018 06:09

No words OP, but Thank you Flowers

AgathaMystery · 27/07/2018 00:30

Thank you for sharing. Much love to you all.

myrtleWilson · 27/07/2018 20:53

Much love to you all - finding joy in everyday life with your boy must bring bittersweet comfort - but I wish you many more joyful days.

I remember one of your previous posts about the incredibly difficult position your IL's were putting you in - has this been resolved now (by them not you) I do hope they are not causing more stress at this time. ( Please don't answer if it drags up difficult memories)

Plus I did have a bit of a giggle at Tillymint's typo - her interest in your supper wasn't probably one of the questions you were anticipating!

JeezYouLoon · 27/07/2018 22:29

I'm so sorry to hear about your little boy OP, cancer really does suck. My DDad died last month, I'm totally heartbroken but he's lucky really in that all his grandchildren have a memory of him.

How old is your youngest DC?

Sending you much love and strength x

familywoes9 · 28/07/2018 06:58

What a wonderfully brave, loyal, amazing mother you are.

I'm sorry life has dealt you this.

xxxxxxx

BakedBeans47 · 28/07/2018 15:51

I don’t have a question but I’ve been incredibly moved by your posts. I’m just so really sorry you and your lovely boy are going through this. He sounds delightful and he has a lovely mum x

itsBritneyBeach · 28/07/2018 16:01

I have been moved by your words, and I send love to you and your family especially your brave boy. You are super woman Flowers xxx