My children were conceived with donor sperm - AMA

[likeabigpizzapie]

That's it really. Single parent. Got pregnant with a sperm donor from a sperm bank. Since met some donor siblings. Anything you'd like to know?

How did you pick your donor?

My DH and I are considering doing this (male infertility factors).

Did you use a clinic or private donor?
What method of insemination did you use?
How many attempts did it take to get pregnant?
Did you track your cycle / ovulation etc if you weren't doing ICSI / IVF? How does that work?

Lovely that you've met some siblings!!

What do you tell your DC about their father?

Are you gay?
How did you find the baby days as a single mum?
Is motherhood what you imagined it would be?
At what age did you tell your children?

Sorry for all the questions

How did you pick your donor?

Hello! My minimum requirement was an ID release donor - one that would was willing to have his identity released to the children when he was 18. That narrowed it down considerably as most men donating to clinics in the US and Scandinavia are completely anonymous (in the UK they are all ID release but there is far less information available on the donors). After that I matched vaguely on my ex- boyfriends looks! I only found one donor that I really liked in the end, and that was the one I used: he wrote a very long thoughtful essay and I related to the way he wrote about himself. I also thought he sounded inquisitive, intelligent and honest.

My DH and I are considering doing this (male infertility factors).

Hello. I used a clinic and a sperm donor from overseas. I used an iD release donor as I strongly believe that a child has the right to know it's genetic heritage if they so wish. I did ask an ex boyfriend but he said no, and now I'm grateful he said no. I tried medicated IUIs first, but that didn't work, so I them moved onto IVF/ICSI and was successful the first time. I don't think that I tracked the cycle during IVF but I remember having charts and thermometers during the IUIs and that it somehow took over my life. I knew so much about my body and my dips and peaks and vaginal discharge. More than I have ever needed to know subsequently!

As for the siblings, Yes, that is lovely. I decided that if I was going to conceive this way it would be best to embrace the circumstances. The donor siblings do not threaten the integrity of our family in any way. It's just more people. I do know that in the half sibling family we know where the parents are a couple getting to know half siblings was initially a bit of a struggle for the parent who was not genetically related to their child. He felt slightly threatened and fearful. . However, he was able to overcome this initial fear (I think he realised he was irreplaceable!).

Initially - when they were baby and toddlers - I told them that they had a donor and had a story about their conception. They happily relayed this information at nursery and in reception. When they were four I managed to get in contact with the donor and he is now known to them. They still call him a donor, but they know who he is and have a relationship with him.

I'm not gay. I'm just single. Crucially I was single at the point when I needed to get pregnant i.e. at the point my fertility was running out.

I absolutely loved the baby days. Every moment of them. I was lucky to have consistent support and help at home for the first year from friends and family. Plus a cleaner.

I desperately wanted children, with a ferocious yearning. I was right to yearn as I have found having children as magical as I had hoped. More magical, really, as I had not envisioned the actual people who would pop out. Better than I could ever have imagined.

I told my children when they were still making cooing noises!

How did you find your donor siblings?

donor sibling registry in the US