I'm an introvert - ask me anything

[GreenEyedBlonde]

Jumping on that wagon...

Okay guess everyone is sick of it lol

I think I'm an introvert but other times I actually quite like having attention. I don't like speaking to people so that sort of attention I avoid like the plague but if I am competing in a sport I love it when people shout positive things from the sidelines or congratulate me on my performance just as long as they don't want me to engage in conversation. Do you think I am an introvert or possibly just rude?

I don't think you're rude. I also dislike talking to people - meaning small talk. Unless I'm in a really, really good mood. I hate it in the staff room when someone I hardly know says something like "so what have you got for lunch then?" or "what are your plans this weekend?"

Oh just fuck off will you!

That's exactly the kind of small talk I can't do, other people.do it and it sounds fine but I just can't ask those kind of questions because I'm not overly interested in the answer and think they will think I'm just being nosey.

I hate it when people phone me too, I'm very much a texter! It's easier being in the company of somebody because normal silences aren't as awkward and you're doing other things as well as talking to each other. But a phone call is like a hand of tennis, you constantly have to either talk or listen and think of things to keep it going. I find it socially exhausting!

*game

If you've been out socially, do you need to shut yourself away for a bit to recharge your batteries on your own afterwards? I have to do this & so does my DS.

Do you think you are an introvert in all situations?

Yes definitely need to recharge, my social battery runs out quickly. For example if somebody sleeps over I panic if they aren't making arrangements to leave by 10am the next morning. I'd also never arrange to go out on a Friday and a Saturday night. One for socialising and one for me. If I'm 'out out' then I'm 'in in' the day after!

Not introverted in all situations - I can be quite loud and jokey but only when I'm with a few very close friends. Also much keener to talk to anyone when I'm drunk, but loads of people are like that.

I have two main tactics for surviving social occasions.

1, Don’t go. Problem solved .

2, If I really can’t get out of it and I absolutely have to go, I always stay sober and drive myself to the event. I never offer anyone a lift, not because I don’t want to be helpful, but because I don’t want to be trapped by obligation to them. I can cope with the event as long as I have my car keys in my bag, I know they are there, I can touch them for reassurance and I can use them to escape when I can’t cope with any more socialising.

That sounds unhinged, doesn’t it?

Bonnie if you sound unhinged then so must I as I do exactly the same thing.

And I can't do house guests at all

Bonnie not unhinged at all to not want to be tied in with other people out of obligation 😊

Thank you both, Drama & Green.

I now feel a bit less of a weirdo!

My ultimate horror is to receive an invitation, my immediate thought is how to get out of it. Rather proud of the fact that I have managed never, ever to host a party in my life.

If you met someone you liked and wanted to be friends with, would you ever initiate further contact or would you always wait for the other person to do so first? I’m crap at this so always do the latter... not sure whether I’m an actual introvert or just scared of rejection though!

Would you prefer to not be introvert if it were that simple? I only ask because being very shy i over think the latest social event wishing next time I won't be as shy and go through all those horrible feelings it brings etc again.

Totally agree with other posters. My nightmare is to be trapped- either relying on lifts or agreeing to help others. Parties - god just no. So I never agree . Ever.

The instant freedom of driving- I will never forget it!

Equally I never linger after meetings at work. I. Need time to de compress. I can only pretend for so long.

Worst nightmare would be a wedding invitation or similar.

But there is an upside- I have travelled solo fearlessly around the world for decades. I am not shy or lacking in confidence. I have a senior level professional role. I am not hiding in my childhood bedroom painting figurines or anything. It's just, you know, that old thing about hell being other people.

I agree, I'm never bored or lonely, I'm not shy. I don't lack confidence and I holiday alone - because I really want to. I just find people a total energy suck and feel shattered after too much interaction. I think I'm happier than most people as I can solve all my own problems and am completely self reliant. The only people I enjoy being around are my adult kids, my parents and my dogs. I'm pleasant to lots of acquaintances but any obligations to attend weddings, funerals, meet for lunch/coffee with said acquaintances just make me groan and I make excuses whenever I can.

And my ultimate number one horror is someone popping in for coffee. I would never invite them or go to their house, just why?! I have got so I step forward on to the front step almost closing the door behind me and say, terrible timing I'm very busy. I hate people coming to my house because I panic I will be trapped with them for hours.

Yes, understand - and yet planned meetings and small scale socialising ( absolute max 4 prob for me) in a relaxing environment where you know you can go whenever can be great and so affirming. It has taken me decades to learn and accept this.

Popping in - just no!
Nononononono NO.
Some love it but for me it is a massive imposition.

Oh god I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone. A friend dropping in for coffee would make me VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.

Me again. If I have a role at formal gatherings it makes things easier, but no less exhausting afterwards. I did a thing at work today and felt 'spent' after- weak from just all the contact and effort, even though I knew most reasonably well.

In my younger days I felt so crippled by this and my inability to become what I thought I should be- what I wanted to be and saw others so effortlessly being- really crap for self esteem.

Only now in my 50s have I got alongside it all.

Thanks for the thread OP - hoping what's been shared here is of use to others.

I think all on this thread should agree to be besties and never, ever, ever meet up. I'll say happy birthday and merry Christmas now because I don't want to feel obligated later on.