I'm one of 16 siblings, ask me anything

[picklepost]

Like a 1980s Radford. I notice a lot of curiosity about life in a big family, maybe I can answer some of your questions.

Annabelle I have not seen the show! My opinion is based on snippets I've read - that the children's well-being plays second fiddle to the mother's (unhealthy) need to keep having babies. It is not desirable or sustainable, and those children are not getting what they need. It is pretty sick that it is going on in plain sight.

What do you think of modern-day families with more than 3 children? Do you think large families are impossible to "do" well?

Do you want a large family?

Banana I don't do presents for anyone except my children. My children do receive gifts from a few of their relatives but on the whole we don't worry about the present thing. We WhatsApp etc

Disco I only recall one grandparent, the others died relatively young.

My father had an amazing career and we lived in a huge house, but two or three to a bedroom for at least a decade. Of course as the older ones moved out, there was more space.

Age gaps range between one and two years and yes there are twins so the total span is surprisingly small. However, when there are five siblings between you, you don't get to know each other as well as you might if there were just two of you.

No I definitely don't want a big family and I always feel sorry for kids in big families even if that's "wrong".

My family was really just a vehicle for my mother's narcissism.

Avtar no opinion on other families of more than three. I always think it's a little funny when people describe their families as big and it turns out there are only four.

Everyone's situation is different; if you have the means and support to raise a bigger family then the likelihood is that you'll do a great job. For others - perhaps constrained by financial or health issues - even one child is a struggle.

Fascinating stuff.

Assuming you are all parenting age, how many children do you have between you, has anyone else gone down the road of multiple kids?

Were your parents religious?

Was there any media interest in you when you were children? Did your parents solicit or encourage any?

The eldest did, yes. No one else. Three have no children, everyone else has 1 or 2 or 3.

No media interest that I'm aware of and my parents would never have courted publicity. They were pretty high brow

So how many does the eldest have? Has she beaten the record?!

I despised being one of 3. I lived in constant fear my mother would have another. Thankfully she didn’t.

I’m sorry my mother was awful too.

Did you all go to school together? I guess not all, but you said the age gaps were quite small. And what did the teachers think?! Oh, here we go, another pickle.

Yes we went to same schools and teachers would say oh hello pickle11
I didn't mind that at all though, the teachers were nice and I liked school.

Thank you everyone for your interest!

This is such an interesting thread. I'm one of a big family, though not as big as yours, and I've had the same concerns re wanting them to know they are loved but not overwhelming them. If you don't have a very healthy example, it can be difficult.

Are you close to any siblings now, compared to friends in general?

Would you say you were upper class?

What were meal times like?

I knew a woman who was one of 10. She said she was teased a lot about it at school. Did you experience that kind of thing?

This is so interesting.

My question is about your names. I’d have loved to have 16 children to name, there are so many names I’d have loved to have used for mine. I’d have given so much time to thinking of lovely first and second names.😀

Do your names follow a theme? Traditional or modern, flamboyant or plain for example.

Is number 16 just John Smith?

HollowTalk This is such an interesting thread. I'm one of a big family, though not as big as yours, and I've had the same concerns re wanting them to know they are loved but not overwhelming them. If you don't have a very healthy example, it can be difficult.

Are you close to any siblings now, compared to friends in general?

Not really, no. I'm in touch with all of them and see them from time to time, mostly individually, and we always have fun. But they're not really part of my daily life

halfwitpicker Would you say you were upper class?
No not at all. If any class, I guess middle. My parents were highly educated and valued education, creativity and social justice. Never money.

What were meal times like?
Very orderly - always at the (custom-built) table, there were rituals around the table being set and cleared, and manners were a big deal.

ThroughThickAndThin
This is so interesting.

My question is about your names. I’d have loved to have 16 children to name, there are so many names I’d have loved to have used for mine. I’d have given so much time to thinking of lovely first and second names.😀*

Do your names follow a theme? Traditional or modern, flamboyant or plain for example.

Our names are definitely of a type, not rare or even unusual, the sort still given to babies today. Many of us were named for wider family.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat
I knew a woman who was one of 10. She said she was teased a lot about it at school. Did you experience that kind of thing?

Definitely. Some people would go on and on about it. But like anything, as soon as you get to know people it drops away.

What did you actually eat? Lots of carbs I imagine. I can imagine there being huge pots of stuff in the middle of the table for some reason

Mostly meat & three veg-style dinners, the butcher delivered and vegetables were picked up each week.

Fish n chips once a week. Soup for lunch in the winter. Roast dinners on Sunday. No pots on the table

@halfwitpicker You would NEVER put a big pot on the table when you've got a big family! There'd be chaos and the younger ones would get nothing.

In my family dinners were put out in the kitchen and then carried in to the dining room. Yes, to them being carb-heavy, good sized meals with plenty of potatoes etc but lots of veg and less meat, I suppose. My mum would have one of the MN chickens which lasted ages!

We would always have a cooked pudding - a crumble or pie or steamed pudding - with custard. Everything was always home-made.