If you’ve left a GP appointment feeling dismissed, you’re not alone.
It's something that comes up again and again on Mumsnet. Feeling brushed off. Feeling rushed. Being told symptoms are “normal” or “in your head” when you know they’re not.
In our latest survey, 58% of Mumsnet users said they believe the NHS is institutionally misogynistic - which makes it harder to get the treatment you need and deserve.
It shouldn’t be like this – which is why we’re campaigning for change. But in the meantime, we’ve pulled together the most helpful practical advice shared over the years on Mumsnet about how to approach medical appointments.
We hope it helps more women get the care they’re entitled to.
Don’t underplay your symptoms
It seems obvious - but this comes up again and again.
Women sometimes feel conditioned to soften their language in appointments. They minimise their own pain. They lead with “it’s probably nothing.”
That instinct is understandable, but it's unhelpful.
List your symptoms clearly. Say how long they’ve been happening. Explain how they affect work, sleep or daily life, using language like “this is affecting my quality of life in XXX way”.
Write it down
Short appointments make it easy to forget key details.
Before you go:
It doesn’t have to be long - bullet points are enough. You can read from it or hand it over - as well as asking for it to be added to your notes.
Bring backup if you can
A partner or friend can:
Many Mumsnet users say they feel they’re taken more seriously if they bring along a male partner. That shouldn’t be the case. But as infuriating as it is, if it's an option available to you then don't be afraid to take it.
Say what you want
If you’re worried about a specific condition, name it.
If you think you need tests, say so.
If you want a referral, ask directly.
You can ask:
what is the working diagnosis?
what would trigger a referral?
when should I come back if this doesn’t improve?
You don’t have to leave without a plan.
If you’ve been back before, say that
Repeat visits matter.
If this is a repeat visit for the same issue, make that explicit.
“I’ve been in three times and I’m not improving.”
In GP practices in England, 3 appointments without a substantive diagnosis prompts something called Jess’s Rule - which prompts medics to take a 'fresh eyes' approach and think again.
If you’re in this situation, ask about Jess’s Rule.
Persist if you need to
If you feel dismissed, go back.
If symptoms haven’t improved, say so.
If they’ve worsened, say that clearly.
Documentation matters.
If needed, you can:
ask for your concerns to be recorded in your notes
request a second opinion or a different doctor
email the practice manager
Trust your instinct
You know what’s normal for you.
If something feels different or new, don’t ignore it.
If you’re told to “wait and see” and you’re uncomfortable with that, ask what exactly you’re waiting for - and for how long.
If your symptoms change, go back.
It can feel uncomfortable to push. Do it anyway. You deserve to be listened to. You deserve to understand what’s happening with your body. And you deserve care that takes you seriously. Keep asking until you get it.