pronouns on booking form

A really dedicated tricky customer would of course print it out. Make the appropriate answers and submit it by hand/post.

We have had our annual 'how amazing is it working for our company' survey. On the first page is the question and the only options to pick 'what is your gender- male/female/Non-binary/prefer not to answer'. It is not possible to answer this truthfully if you do not ascribe to gender ideology as choosing 'prefer not to answer' still implies that you have a gender. This question is mandatory so I couldn't move to the next page and complete the rest of the survey.

Because they would be concerned that they would suffer discrimination because of their beliefs.

Not sure what point you are trying to make here.

Yes, many people felt excluded by worship in school and would feel excluded/irritated by prayers at a conference and would not wish to take part, and they might well start a thread on MN wondering the best way to approach this, and it is likely that a discussion about religion would ensue.

Customers pay the piper ....

If that's the case then no-one would be singled out. You can't have it both ways.

Wrong thread ?

So being at school in the 90s? And yet Christianity continued to decline...

But you are being a tricky customer.

Not wishing to declare a gender identity is not being a 'tricky customer'. There are many reasons why somebody might not wish to do so.

In a social setting - yes it does. In a professional setting - if you don't wish to use someone's preferred pronouns after the first time, and refuse to use a reasonable alternative (name, they etc) then actually you're probably veering more into unprofessional conduct and potential bullying. Most people who work in professional jobs understand this and just get on with it. If you've decided misgendering someone is something you wish to do then don't be surprised when your employer pulls you up.

But you are being a tricky customer. So either have the courage of your convictions or don't. No-one is required to like you. They may, upon realising that your views are fundamentally incompatible with theirs, decide that they don't wish to engage with you above the usual brief professionalism - that is their right. None of us are owed anything other than professionalism. If they don't wish to do business with you over your actions (not your beliefs) then that is for you to solve. I've worked with countless GC people who manage to function professionally without it becoming their entire personality.

According to a poster upthread NOT having people use your preferred pronouns causes hurty feelings. Does your comment about someone being that fragile apply to them as well?

To people for whom it does matter what pronouns they are referred to by, it can cause severe emotional distress and be detrimental to their mental health.

Has any drama been reported?

It's the equivalent of being asked to join in prayers each morning.

Reactions will depend on how much this is enforced and different people will have different feelings about how much they are offended/feel excluded/are simply irritated.

And she could have simply just put 'n/a'. Without drama. Every single person deals with something they consider nonsense at work but we managed to go on without creating issues. Or at least those of us who can hold down a job do that.

So being asked your preferred pronouns causes you hurty feelings? With respect - if someone is that fragile, it's unlikely they'll be able to hold down a professional job.

They're not. I'm not arguing they are. I don't think anyone should be forced to - but I also don't think it's an issue to ask or to state your own on a badge/email signature if you so wish. Although honestly - if I met anyone with most of the above examples on their badge at a conference - I would absolutely think they are incapable of behaving professionally and keeping their personal opinions out of their work.

This blog is interesting on the pronoun issue. It was shared in response to a post on X showing that someone from the Cabinet Office had put their pronouns on their email signature along with a link as to why pronouns are important.

The Cabinet Office is supposed to be politically and ideologically neutral.

If it’s ok to add a link in as to why pronouns are important, it should be ok to add a link in as to why adding pronouns is harmful.

https://www.legalfeminist.org.uk/2022/04/26/grammar-and-grievance/

PS I’d already posted a few hours ago as to why I think the use of pronouns does harm people if those asking the question care to click back a couple of pages. It also does harm because I think the people announcing them are idiots and it makes me cringe.

The data field was mandatory. That is the problem we're addressing here.

Well, those of us who read the OP, that is. Not quite sure what others are doing ?

@nicepotoftea You forgot to order @alcovecupboards to “be specific”!

Had this been a viable option then no doubt OP would have ignored that data field entirely and simply got on with her day. The way the form was set up meant that she had to type something. And typing something other than the requested information sends a specific message that this person is not engaging.

The data field was mandatory. That is the problem we're addressing here.

I was on an Austrian Airlines flight 3-4 years back. Their announcement that we were beginning our descent was made to 'Ladies and Gentlemen and Everyone Else!'

I don't mind that, TBF. I thought it quite nice, if a bit daft. What I really find unpleasant is being reduced to anatomy: a 'person with a cervix', for eg. This carries other obvious health implications for people who might not know what a cervix is. For whatever reason, not everyone in this country has access to a reasonable quality of education and this doesn't make their lives less worthy than anyone else's.

A 'person who bleeds' is really nasty for a variety of reasons: not least because it's so dehumanising. Might as well tell us what they really think of us and call us cunts.

But it's all assuming that everybody knows what 'your pronouns' are driving at (as opposed to what pronouns are in general grammar). In fact, some people - especially non-native English speakers - may not be familiar with the word 'pronoun'. All of us knew to say 'she' when talking about mummy, and 'he' when talking about daddy, long before we had ever heard of the word 'pronoun' and knew what it meant.

Ask a random selection of people in the street to give you a phrase or sentence using the definite article, and a lot of them won't actually know what you mean; they may also be very embarrassed and feel humiliated if they don't know. By contrast, ask them to give you a phrase or sentence including the word 'the' and every single person (unless they are non-verbal, very young or have severe learning difficulties) will instantly know what you mean and be able to answer correctly.

Do you really think that, if they asked you to give 'your species', everybody would just instantly know that they were expecting you to put 'human' (or maybe 'furry' or 'fishlord' or whatever) and nonchalantly comply, without any confusion or people thinking that they must have misunderstood - especially considering that the whole idea of badges is to reduce uncertainty and confusion, not to add to it? Not to mention being offended at the suggestion that their species wasn't instantly obvious?

But you DO use your name, when you introduce yourself; and other people sometimes use it when talking to you, or to make it clear that they're specifically addressing you in a group of people.

Also, your name is your basic individual identification - and actually IS useful on a personal basis. If there were a keynote speaker, the MC would say "Ladies & Gentlemen, please welcome... Louise Collins!". They would never, ever say "Please welcome... She!" - and if, for some bizarre reason they did, you'd have an entire room of people all whispering "Who?!" and completely non-the-wiser.

(I presume 'Ladies and Gentlemen' is still acceptable - and it doesn't have to be 'Folkies and Gentlethem' instead nowadays?!)