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Original poster

pronouns on booking form

281 replies

Iamawomanofconstantsorrow · 13/10/2026 15:01

What would you put in a form when it demands you fill in the pronoun box or it won't submit, and there is a danger said pronouns will be printed on the name badges? It's a professional conference.

OP posts:
Boiledbeetle · 13/10/2026 16:50

Iamawomanofconstantsorrow · 13/10/2026 15:30

There is no option of N/A, it's not a tick box, it's a box you can write whatever you like in.

I can therefore write N/A, but it's annoying not to be able to decline to write anything.

I'd go for:

I/d/o/n/'/t/w/a/n/t/t/o/p/la/y/t/h/i/s/g/a/m/e/!/h/a/v/e/a/n/i/c/e/d/a/y/n/o/w/.

GreenwayHouse · 13/10/2026 16:41

@Zimunya Brilliant! I’ll remember that for next time!

Zimunya · 13/10/2026 16:25

GreenwayHouse · 13/10/2026 16:06

I was asked my pronouns in a meeting for the first time ever the other day. I said that I don’t do the pronoun thing and they could call me whatever they wanted. The person asking looked appalled.
It was all nonsense anyway because no one was going to be referring to me in the third person in the meeting.

Afterwards, I thought I should have said “he/him” in a very serious voice just to see what they did, as I’m clearly a woman and that would have been a piss take.

Edited to add that I’ve recently changed organisations. My new organisation provides healthcare. And it’s quite scary how many senior people don’t seem to know the difference between a man and a woman.

Edited

If I am asked my face to face my response is always, "I'm a menopausal woman - my pronouns are "Try Me". I then fix the person asking with a hard stare. It usually ends there. The other day I was in a Teams meeting with several people and a wonderful woman from another affiliate, who, when one of the (obvious) men announced his pronouns, said, "There's no need for that - you're here in the meeting and I will address you by your name if I need to speak to you. I would only need your pronouns if I intended to speak about you, when not in your presence, and you're not interesting enough for that."

SerendipityJane · 13/10/2026 16:09

An angry email demanding to know why they haven't included your pronouns can work wonders. Make sure you ostentatiously copy in your management team and (critically) whoever is paying for the thing,

Be prepared to make a point about your identity being erased.

(alternatively put a placeholder pronoun, and when you collect the badge, make a point of refusing to accept it as wrong).

nicepotoftea · 13/10/2026 16:06

I think n/a is the best answer.

GreenwayHouse · 13/10/2026 16:06

I was asked my pronouns in a meeting for the first time ever the other day. I said that I don’t do the pronoun thing and they could call me whatever they wanted. The person asking looked appalled.
It was all nonsense anyway because no one was going to be referring to me in the third person in the meeting.

Afterwards, I thought I should have said “he/him” in a very serious voice just to see what they did, as I’m clearly a woman and that would have been a piss take.

Edited to add that I’ve recently changed organisations. My new organisation provides healthcare. And it’s quite scary how many senior people don’t seem to know the difference between a man and a woman.

SirChenjins · 13/10/2026 16:04

I/me/my - because they are my pronouns.

How other people refer to me is up to them - if they chose he then I would survive to tell the tale. I don't compel other people's speech.

SausageRoll2020 · 13/10/2026 16:01

Someone I used to work with chose She / Her Majesty 👑

Igmum · 13/10/2026 15:59

Tempted to go with oh FFS but would probably compromise on XXX XXX

Shedmistress · 13/10/2026 15:57

...

JanesLittleGirl · 13/10/2026 15:56

How about 'your choice'?

Justme56 · 13/10/2026 15:51

Honestly if anyone asked me what my pronouns were at a conference I’d throw back ‘do you think I’m a man?’ The whole thing is a nonsense.

NewAgain26 · 13/10/2026 15:49

I'd be tempted to write "Take your best guess", or there's always "Who/Where"??

Zimunya · 13/10/2026 15:46

ahagwearsapointybonnet · 13/10/2026 15:35

No! This is a really BAD idea unless you also want to encourage them to read, absorb & implement all the REST of these godawful "principles", which even one of the authors later realised were totally anti-women, &: regretted his part in. They need to be buried without trace, NOT recommended as something to follow.

Show quote history

I only ever quote Principle 6, for the reasons you have outlined. But Principle 6 still has it's uses.

LordEmsworthsGirlfriend · 13/10/2026 15:44

Iamawomanofconstantsorrow · 13/10/2026 15:32

Should have written me/you. Kicking self!

Or 'one'. I agree that spaces are the way to go, though.

SamphiretheTervosaur · 13/10/2026 15:42

I asked the woman at the desk how the company would use that information

She looked at me like I was mad

I muttered GDPR and typed "No thanks" in the gap

ahagwearsapointybonnet · 13/10/2026 15:40

How about "Don't be silly!"? 😉
Or failing that, "N/A".
If the box is long enough, you could also put a comment that it would be better/more inclusive to not make that question mandatory, as many people don't like to specify pronouns. Or mention it in any other feedback they collect.

MagpiePi · 13/10/2026 15:40

I’d want to put the rolly eyes emoji.

🙄

Original poster
Iamawomanofconstantsorrow · 13/10/2026 15:39

yes @poshfrock that's the answer. Or a space might even work, thanks

OP posts:
ahagwearsapointybonnet · 13/10/2026 15:35

Zimunya · 13/10/2026 15:24

I would contact the organisers and quote Principle 6 of the Yogyakarta Principles
"Everyone, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, is entitled to the enjoyment of privacy without arbitrary or unlawful interference, including with regard to their family, home or correspondence as well as to protection from unlawful attacks on their honour and reputation. The right to privacy ordinarily includes the choice to disclose or not to disclose information relating to one’s sexual orientation or gender identity, as well as decisions and choices regarding both one’s own body and consensual sexual and other relations with others." (https://yogyakartaprinciples.org/principle-6/)

You are not obliged to state your gender identity.

Edited

No! This is a really BAD idea unless you also want to encourage them to read, absorb & implement all the REST of these godawful "principles", which even one of the authors later realised were totally anti-women, &: regretted his part in. They need to be buried without trace, NOT recommended as something to follow.

poshfrock · 13/10/2026 15:35

Put a full stop in the box so it registers a text response but will look blank when printed.

Original poster
Iamawomanofconstantsorrow · 13/10/2026 15:32

Should have written me/you. Kicking self!

OP posts:
GreenwayHouse · 13/10/2026 15:31

That’s infuriating. If there’s no option but to submit something I would also put “N/a” in the pronoun field if possible. Or I would put something and then tippex it out when going to the conference. I would absolutely not have pronouns on my badge at an event. I think anyone who does is an idiot or a sheep and I wouldn’t want to be seen as either!

Original poster
Iamawomanofconstantsorrow · 13/10/2026 15:30

There is no option of N/A, it's not a tick box, it's a box you can write whatever you like in.

I can therefore write N/A, but it's annoying not to be able to decline to write anything.

OP posts:
Lomonald · 13/10/2026 15:29

Are you a she ? Just put she .because that would be a pronoun, if you don't want to tick anything just tick N/A