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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Today I discovered that Hinge can delete your account if as a straight male you complain about males appearing in your dating queue…

632 replies

SingleSexSpacesInSchools · 10/08/2026 01:05

I only discovered this after having made two reports, and it’s Sunday, so I suppose I’ll find out tomorrow if they are going to follow through.

  • [This paragraph has been removed at the OP's request]

I'm sure someone will be along in a minute and ask why it has to be a thing in a relationship at all but given the case I’m following through it sort of has to be out there!

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Lexibletheflexible · 11/08/2026 08:13

Shedmistress · 11/08/2026 07:52

Can anyone ever explain why some people think men are women?

What made them 'think' this absurdity?

That's a totally different thread and sort of irrelevant to the discussion.

Shakeitall · 11/08/2026 08:04

Shedmistress · 11/08/2026 07:52

Can anyone ever explain why some people think men are women?

What made them 'think' this absurdity?

They’re sheep 🐑 and want to be trendy and can’t think critically.

BackToLurk · 11/08/2026 08:01

Lexibletheflexible · 11/08/2026 07:20

The AI failed to pick up that it was a trans woman. It was a manual review by the owner that actually picked it up. Before that, non-white women had been complaining that the AI registered them as male. The AI never really worked to keep the site to biological women.

The efficiency of the AI is irrelevant to the point of whether app users generally were aware of and comfortable with its intended use. Try another back flip.

Shedmistress · 11/08/2026 07:52

Lexibletheflexible · 11/08/2026 07:07

Yes. They don't think TW violate a "female only" space. Obviously. That is why they fight for their inclusion on them. That's pretty basic stuff. There would be no argument if they didn't think they are women.

Can anyone ever explain why some people think men are women?

What made them 'think' this absurdity?

Shakeitall · 11/08/2026 07:44

BackToLurk · 11/08/2026 07:18

The app used AI to confirm users were female. It was very clear. Anyone who joined it, was clear it was their sex being checked. Anyone who believed TWAW wouldn’t have been comfortable in that space. The pressure (fuss) came from people who couldn’t be users. Your initial assertion was that there would be no fuss if users were getting what they wanted. That’s patently untrue.

I think your contributions are really valuable to demonstrate the kind of mental gymnastics that have to be performed to maintain your position.

Definitely very flexible at the mental gymnastics. I’m thinking this poster is from the US or TRA-nada given his or her use of the phrase ‘a bunch of women.’

Lexibletheflexible · 11/08/2026 07:20

BackToLurk · 11/08/2026 07:18

The app used AI to confirm users were female. It was very clear. Anyone who joined it, was clear it was their sex being checked. Anyone who believed TWAW wouldn’t have been comfortable in that space. The pressure (fuss) came from people who couldn’t be users. Your initial assertion was that there would be no fuss if users were getting what they wanted. That’s patently untrue.

I think your contributions are really valuable to demonstrate the kind of mental gymnastics that have to be performed to maintain your position.

The AI failed to pick up that it was a trans woman. It was a manual review by the owner that actually picked it up. Before that, non-white women had been complaining that the AI registered them as male. The AI never really worked to keep the site to biological women.

BackToLurk · 11/08/2026 07:18

Lexibletheflexible · 11/08/2026 07:07

Yes. They don't think TW violate a "female only" space. Obviously. That is why they fight for their inclusion on them. That's pretty basic stuff. There would be no argument if they didn't think they are women.

The app used AI to confirm users were female. It was very clear. Anyone who joined it, was clear it was their sex being checked. Anyone who believed TWAW wouldn’t have been comfortable in that space. The pressure (fuss) came from people who couldn’t be users. Your initial assertion was that there would be no fuss if users were getting what they wanted. That’s patently untrue.

I think your contributions are really valuable to demonstrate the kind of mental gymnastics that have to be performed to maintain your position.

Lexibletheflexible · 11/08/2026 07:10

HelenHywater · 11/08/2026 07:07

I'm on dating sites (am female ), I've got my search set for men - I don't get transmen popping up on my matches but I do get a fair amount of transwomen. Usually very obvious men dressed as women.

It would have to be trans men interested in dating women. If there are few on the site in the areas you look in, then you won't see many. My friend is on Feeld, lives in London, so sees a fair few in her matches.

HelenHywater · 11/08/2026 07:09

they're probably more accurately described as cross-dressers maybe. Anyway, it always makes me feel like they're forcing me to be part of their fantasy.

HelenHywater · 11/08/2026 07:07

I'm on dating sites (am female ), I've got my search set for men - I don't get transmen popping up on my matches but I do get a fair amount of transwomen. Usually very obvious men dressed as women.

Lexibletheflexible · 11/08/2026 07:07

BackToLurk · 11/08/2026 07:03

You think people who believe TWAW, believe TW are of the female sex? I can’t wait for your next hot take. They are truly the gifts that keep giving.

Yes. They don't think TW violate a "female only" space. Obviously. That is why they fight for their inclusion on them. That's pretty basic stuff. There would be no argument if they didn't think they are women.

BackToLurk · 11/08/2026 07:03

Lexibletheflexible · 11/08/2026 06:48

I think if you think TWAW, then the app is female only.

You think people who believe TWAW, believe TW are of the female sex? I can’t wait for your next hot take. They are truly the gifts that keep giving.

Lexibletheflexible · 11/08/2026 06:53

Thelnebriati · 11/08/2026 00:17

In that case its false advertising if you are running a dating app and you pretend 'sex' means something else. They should use 'gender identity'. They won't, because men who want to meet women won't join.

They do.

Today I discovered that Hinge can delete your account if as a straight male you complain about males appearing in your dating queue…
Lexibletheflexible · 11/08/2026 06:52

Shedmistress · 11/08/2026 06:47

The point is there IS no other meaning of sex than biological. If you use the word you should mean the word not the opposite of the word. If you are using made up nonsense, particularly if it puts people at risk which this does, they should be clear. There is no point to ticking boxes that people use to filter who they might meet up with if the boxes are meaningless.

It undermines their whole reason for offering boxes.

They use gender not sex. And of course they literally have boxes for all manner of gender identities. So many trans people will just check the trans woman/man box.

Lexibletheflexible · 11/08/2026 06:51

MyAmpleSheep · 10/08/2026 23:11

They’re going to have to be honest before they have sex, or they’re going to prison.

Is the idea to delay the reveal until the very last moment and hope the straight guy (probably with poor eyesight) is too far engaged to pay too much attention?

”Ok, just the tip… and by the way I’m a man who used to be called Brian with a surgically created cavity, hope that’s ok”

Why not be up-front from the start? The longer you wait the harder it gets to be honest.

Edited

I bet most trans people say it in their profiles even if they tick the woman or man box. So if you read their profile, you will see that they are trans. Of course many men don't bother read profiles, they just search for a bunch of women and swipe right on every one.

Lexibletheflexible · 11/08/2026 06:48

BackToLurk · 10/08/2026 22:53

You think users joining an app heavily marketed as female-only didn’t really want it to be female only? Is this like people looking for romantic or sexual partners don’t really care what sex they are?

I think if you think TWAW, then the app is female only.

Shedmistress · 11/08/2026 06:47

MakesNoDifference · 10/08/2026 23:53

What I meant was single sex services must be provided on a biological sex basis because under the EA sex means biological sex. Hinge is not providing a single sex service but is providing a service and there is no clause in the EA that says everyone has to use a biological meaning for sex.

The point is there IS no other meaning of sex than biological. If you use the word you should mean the word not the opposite of the word. If you are using made up nonsense, particularly if it puts people at risk which this does, they should be clear. There is no point to ticking boxes that people use to filter who they might meet up with if the boxes are meaningless.

It undermines their whole reason for offering boxes.

Thelnebriati · 11/08/2026 00:17

In that case its false advertising if you are running a dating app and you pretend 'sex' means something else. They should use 'gender identity'. They won't, because men who want to meet women won't join.

MakesNoDifference · 10/08/2026 23:53

AimsAndObjectives · 10/08/2026 23:44

The apps surely need to be clear about what they mean when they use the words men and women. They cannot just invent their own meanings for protected characterisitics. I think a dating app would qualify as a 'service' under the EA, though it's possible that there are issues around jurisdiction if it is not UK based. Equality law is complex and IANAL, but it is not just about single-sex exemptions.
If Hinge means gender, why does it only give the M, W and NB options? If it means sex, why does it give the NB option?
Giving people the option to state that they are trans is just giving them the option to not lie about their sex.

Calling it a 'spurious' complaint is just a way of shutting down the discussion.

What I meant was single sex services must be provided on a biological sex basis because under the EA sex means biological sex. Hinge is not providing a single sex service but is providing a service and there is no clause in the EA that says everyone has to use a biological meaning for sex.

Lins77 · 10/08/2026 23:50

Shedmistress · 10/08/2026 23:46

Id have thought that the TRAs would not want their male transes to be put into potential situations where men might get angry at being duped. How very odd.

That's what I was just thinking. You'd hope they'd make their transness known before any potential meeting. But if they don't (and I can imagine some might not), they're putting themselves at risk of at best embarrassment, and at worst physical attack.

Shedmistress · 10/08/2026 23:46

Id have thought that the TRAs would not want their male transes to be put into potential situations where men might get angry at being duped. How very odd.

AimsAndObjectives · 10/08/2026 23:44

MakesNoDifference · 10/08/2026 23:06

Post-FWS should woman mean female on a dating app?
Why should it? Are dating apps relying on the single sex exception under the EA? Afaik most dating apps use gender and not sex as the descriptor for the filter anyway.

And Hinge do offer the ability for users to specific if they are trans quite prominently on their profile. I actually saw an ad by Hinge and a trans content creator talking about the feature and the advantages of it just this afternoon.

Is there a case that threatening to throw a user off the site for reporting men who say they are women, is discrimination against the PC of sexual orientation?
I don’t think making spurious complaints is a protected manifestation of a belief.

The apps surely need to be clear about what they mean when they use the words men and women. They cannot just invent their own meanings for protected characterisitics. I think a dating app would qualify as a 'service' under the EA, though it's possible that there are issues around jurisdiction if it is not UK based. Equality law is complex and IANAL, but it is not just about single-sex exemptions.
If Hinge means gender, why does it only give the M, W and NB options? If it means sex, why does it give the NB option?
Giving people the option to state that they are trans is just giving them the option to not lie about their sex.

Calling it a 'spurious' complaint is just a way of shutting down the discussion.

MyAmpleSheep · 10/08/2026 23:11

BackToLurk · 10/08/2026 22:49

Yes, I guess maybe apps have decided it’s unworkable, as any such filter would have to rely on transpeople being honest when recording their sex.

They’re going to have to be honest before they have sex, or they’re going to prison.

Is the idea to delay the reveal until the very last moment and hope the straight guy (probably with poor eyesight) is too far engaged to pay too much attention?

”Ok, just the tip… and by the way I’m a man who used to be called Brian with a surgically created cavity, hope that’s ok”

Why not be up-front from the start? The longer you wait the harder it gets to be honest.

MakesNoDifference · 10/08/2026 23:06

AimsAndObjectives · 10/08/2026 22:58

Basically, men are going on the app and lying that they are women. Hinge enables this by not defining what they mean by woman, and by not allowing users to report that someone is lying about their sex.

The questions for me are:

Post-FWS should woman mean female on a dating app?
Is there a case that threatening to throw a user off the site for reporting men who say they are women, is discrimination against the PC of sexual orientation?

Post-FWS should woman mean female on a dating app?
Why should it? Are dating apps relying on the single sex exception under the EA? Afaik most dating apps use gender and not sex as the descriptor for the filter anyway.

And Hinge do offer the ability for users to specific if they are trans quite prominently on their profile. I actually saw an ad by Hinge and a trans content creator talking about the feature and the advantages of it just this afternoon.

Is there a case that threatening to throw a user off the site for reporting men who say they are women, is discrimination against the PC of sexual orientation?
I don’t think making spurious complaints is a protected manifestation of a belief.

AimsAndObjectives · 10/08/2026 22:58

Basically, men are going on the app and lying that they are women. Hinge enables this by not defining what they mean by woman, and by not allowing users to report that someone is lying about their sex.

The questions for me are:

Post-FWS should woman mean female on a dating app?
Is there a case that threatening to throw a user off the site for reporting men who say they are women, is discrimination against the PC of sexual orientation?

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